Tomorrow may never come

First Date?!

"Well yeah.  We're going to meet for a study date at the shop after this."  I managed to get out after taking a drink of water.  I needed the hydration otherwise I am going to drown and choke on my own spit.

It's kinda nice that he is like FOLLOWING you around.

I inwardly chuckled then blushed a fiery red.  Contrary to public opinion, even though I had a football captain for a boyfriend who is surrounded by boys, I really don't know how to talk to boys.  Whenever they have team gatherings, parties or outings, I was always the gofer.  Their girlfriends would ask me to do this and that.  The boys would ask me to cook for them, fix their club lockers and do their laundry.  When they discuss about the latest fad, the newest car, what to do during spring break or who is the next guy to enter the team, I was always just a bystander.  Good to be seen but never to be heard.  I mean how do you converse with one?  Especially one you find yourself extremely attracted to.  I mean Kyle and the doctor were both men and Peter is the same age as me but I can talk to them just fine.  One, the doctor help me to recover from the trauma of the beating and two, Kyle saved me from drowning in my own blood and Three, Peter was like a little brother I never had.  I owed my life to them so I think of them as more of friends.  

Yikes!  Friend zoned even before they can do their moves.

But I really don't know how to be around men.  When I was the girlfriend of James, I was like a glorified assistant.  I would always be there for him whenever he was down when they lost a game, pick up his towel when he just flings it on the floor, does his assignment when he doesn't have the time.  I mean, the girls were awestruck that I was even with him.  Some of them befriended me just to find out how he ticks.  He loves the adoration that they show and would sometimes include them in his circle of friends.  But those girls never gave a damn of how I was treated.  They always assumed that I liked the way they treated me so I just let it go.  To be part of the famous crowd was like a dream.  A dream that I never realized I could have.

And so here I am, secretly ogling the first guy I found to be very attractive.  He was liked twelve James' and still manages to choke me up.  Tamara would tease me endlessly on how I was like a twelve year old with a nineteen year old crush.  But there was this looming fear that I was not good enough for him.

Things won't get started if you always look at the bad side of things.

But I don't want to ruin his ideas about me.

What ideas are those?  Innocence?  Purity?  You have all those.

How can I be innocent?  I was r***d.  I'm not even pure any more because those men took that away from me.

That's where you are wrong, girl.  Innocence and Purity are not restricted to virginity.  You may have been r***d but you did not go on a rampage of vengeance against those who did you wrong.  They only took your physical purity but it is the soul that remains innocent and pure.  They can see your strength.  Why can you not get past that?

I don't know if I could.  Being a virgin in this liberal world is not passe.  Respect is given to those who can retain the purity of the body.

But the strength to move on from what you have been through gives you the right to be respected.  You did not ask for such a thing to happen.

While I was having this mental debate, Liam stood up and turned on the treadmill.  He smiled at me before start to walk on the machine.  He adjusted the speed and soon he was running on it.  My jaw literally fell open.  Oh. My. God!

In retrospect, I shouldn't be jumping the wagon on this hunk of muscle.  I mean I might be thinking about forever when he was only thinking of befriending his cousin's classmate.

Yeah, and I am my monkey's uncle.

So what if his training exercises coincide with mine.  I mean who in his right mind would use the time of his day just to spend it with his cousin's classmate?

Liam Ricks

It's not that he usually goes to work every Friday but Tamara gleefully told me that her cousin was "seemingly" present from Mondays to Fridays ever since I started working there.  But that does not mean that he was looking forward to spend time with me.

Yeah right.

I wanted to drown out the voice inside my head.  I mean arguing with myself might be considered as being insane but since that voice had been guiding me with the decisions I have been having these past few days, I couldn't help but wonder what inspired this voice to keep hounding me.

Suddenly, Liam looked back at me and his eyes were so wicked that I was stunned.  Calm down, girl!

"Hey why don't you join me?  The other machine looks vacant."  He teased.  Oh dear, I wonder if he asked me to jump with him to the pool in that husky voice would I follow his lead.  I shudder at the thought.

No, not really.  Admit it you are really attracted to the guy.

I tried to shrug nonchalantly before standing and turning on the treadmill beside his.  I opted to just walk as I don't want to be breathless but seeing his smoldering looks can really make me lose the air in my lungs.

"Uh, so is this a date?"  I mused aloud and choked on my spit.  I looked at Liam and he was just as surprised.  He braced himself on the treadmill when he almost lost his footing and turned the treadmill off.  He breathed in and out slowly before looking at me.  His eyes were twinkling in mischief.

"You think this is a date?"  He asked, his dimples coming out of his wide smile.  He props himself onto the machine before turning off mine.

"Believe me.  You'll be the first to know if this is a date."  He added in a tone that I did not dare believe in.