Oh Christmas Eve Why Me

chapter 6

Chapter 6: His Room, His Rules

Alex

Warm.

That was the very first sensation I felt—a heavy, almost smothering warmth that made absolutely no sense given where I had been. Thick blankets covered me in deep layers—wolf-fur and soft velvet—soft enough to feel completely wrong. It felt as if someone had tried to bury me alive in a comfort I did not deserve and had never earned. I blinked repeatedly until my sticky lashes unglued themselves from one another.

A robust fire crackled softly in a massive stone hearth I had never seen before in my life. Dark walls rose high around me, intricately carved with silver frost patterns that shimmered faintly like trapped moonlight. Everything in the room smelled deeply of pine wood, sharp steel, recent winter storms, and something else—something sharp and uniquely personal that made my stomach twist in ways I did not want to examine.

Kaelan. His scent was overwhelming, everywhere.

A shadow shifted right beside the bed.

“It’s all right, Alex. You are safe now.”

I jolted straight upright in the bed, violently clutching the thick blankets high against my chest. Kaelan was sitting in a tall, wooden chair he had pulled directly beside the bed, his elbows resting casually on his knees, staring at me with that intense, cold, unreadable expression that always felt like it saw straight through my skin, my bones, and all the way to the deep, hollow places inside me.

His expensive linen shirt hung loose at the throat. His hair was messy, looking like he’d been aggressively dragging his hands through it for hours.

I scrambled backwards until the hard headboard dug painfully into my spine. “What are you doing here?” I demanded.

He lifted both of his hands slowly, palms open, in the careful way one approaches a frightened, wild animal. “This is my private room, Alex. I believe I am allowed to be here.”

The words hit me immediately like a physical slap across the face. Of course. I realized with dread that I was currently lying in the prince’s own bed.

Shame instantly flooded my cheeks. I swung my legs quickly over the side of the thick mattress and tried clumsily to bow while still sitting up, a motion that only made me look more pathetic and ridiculous.

“I—I am sorry, Your Highness. I didn’t know this. I will leave this place right now.”

I pushed myself up too quickly. The room immediately tilted violently, my vision blurring sharply at the edges. Before I could actually hit the floor, his strong hand caught my arm. It felt warm. Firm. Completely steady.

I flinched sharply away from his touch so fast it almost hurt my arm. “I have work to do,” I breathed out quickly. “The pots won’t scrub themselves without me.”

I tried to step quickly around him. His fingers wrapped gently around my wrist—it was not tight or cruel, but it was absolutely immovable.

“I did not give you my permission to leave this room.”

The words should not have caused a wave of heat to crawl up my throat, but they did exactly that.

I violently yanked my wrist free from his grasp and spun around to face him. “What more do you want from me, Kaelan? You’ve already done enough, far too much. If you desperately want me to kneel down and thank you for dragging me out of the snow, then fine—thank you. Now, please let me go.”

He took one deliberate step closer. He was not touching me, but he was close enough that the very air changed around us, that familiar tension sparking loudly like frost cracking across hard stone.

“I don’t want your thanks,” he stated. His voice suddenly softened, dropping low enough that it brushed gently across my skin like a soft whisper. “I want you to be careful. Go back to the bed now. Rest. The other miserable maids can easily handle the work for one night.”

I let out a single, sharp laugh that I definitely did not feel, thin and brittle. “So Father can punish me twice as hard tomorrow morning? No. It is almost Christmas. Everyone is watching my every move. I am not giving them another reason to drag me back outside.”

I pushed past him again. This time he did not stop me—at least, not physically. His voice, soft and dangerous, followed me all the way to the heavy door, threading painfully between my ribs.

“Alex.”

I froze instantly. He never said my name like that before. It was soft. Almost… wounded.

He spoke directly to my back. “I truly do not hate you. Stop looking at me like I am a dangerous stranger to you.”

My chest tightened sharply and painfully. I kept my hand firmly on the cool doorknob because if I were to turn around, I was completely unsure what would happen—what raw emotion I might see in his handsome face, or much worse, what I might finally see reflected in my own.

I did not answer him. I simply couldn’t find the words.

I opened the door quickly and walked out before the fragile cracks inside my heart could grow any bigger than they already were.

…

The kitchen fell into a deep, sudden silence the very moment I stepped inside. Every single maid froze instantly mid-motion, their hands halted above the dough, above the water pails, above the dirty trays. They stared blankly at me like I had literally risen from the frozen grave wearing a crown made of pure sin.

Maria was standing directly at the main sink, her thick arms crossed tightly, her chin lifted high in a clear triumph. The large bruise blooming across her cheek was dark and ugly, but the wide smirk stretching her cruel mouth was far worse to see.

“Well, well, well,” she said, her voice dripping with pure venom. “Look who crawled out of the prince’s bed so soon.”

Heat instantly crawled up my throat again. Every pair of eyes in the room burned intently into me. I deliberately kept my back perfectly straight and rigid.

Maria clicked her tongue loudly in disgust. “Don’t get too comfortable, slut. He only saved you because he still desperately thinks you are his poor little sister. Just give it time. Soon he’ll clearly see you for the Shadow Wolf w***e you really are beneath the facade.”

The porcelain plate in my hand trembled violently. I instantly imagined smashing it directly over her ugly head, imagined the satisfying, sharp crack, imagined cold snow instead of heat swirling violently under my thin skin.

But violence would never truly save me.

So I placed the plate down gently onto the counter and slowly lifted my chin high.

“Call me whatever nasty name you want,” I said quietly, firmly. “I honestly do not care anymore.”

Loud gasps immediately rippled throughout the entire kitchen. Maria’s cruel smirk suddenly faltered, twitching slightly at the corner.

I did not stay long enough to see it completely fall away.

…

I walked out the back door again, this time entirely on purpose.

The freezing cold bit sharply at my cheeks, much sharper than before but somehow clearer and more focused. The snow crunching under my worn boots whispered faintly like hidden voices. The wind stung my eyes until hot tears blurred everything in front of me into a painful, stinging white.

I pressed my cold palm firmly over the dark mark on my chest. It burned wildly and intensely beneath my skin, pulsing powerfully like a second, frantic heartbeat—one I absolutely could not trust.

I hated how my body stubbornly remembered the exact way Kaelan had looked at me in that warm room. I hated the unexpected warmth it had briefly stirred inside me. I hated the deep, raw fear it had uncovered in my soul.

No matter how gently he had carried me up those stairs, no matter how surprisingly kind he had acted for once in his wretched life, it fundamentally did not mean anything at all.

He would never truly accept me.

Not as his actual sister. Not as anything else. Not even as a simple stranger.