Oh Christmas Eve Why Me

chapter 8

Chapter 8: No Apology Needed

Alex

The throne room felt like it was spinning around me. For a long moment, I truly thought I might collapse right there on the cold marble floor. My legs felt weak, like water, but I locked my knees and forced myself to stay upright. Maria’s loud confession still echoed between the ice-carved walls. Each word she spoke felt like it was cutting deeper than the last. Every pair of eyes in the hall burned into my skin. I could feel their judgment. Even though the truth was out, they didn't look sorry. They still wanted me dead. They didn't want me punished or humbled anymore; they wanted me erased from their sight.

King Alaric’s face twisted with a terrible fury. He rounded on Maria, who remained kneeling and sobbing at the base of his throne. She looked small and pathetic now, but I couldn't find it in my heart to feel sorry for her.

“You dared to use my own cup to frame her?” the Alpha’s voice shook the very walls of the room.

His hand flashed out in a blur. The loud crack of the blow echoed through the hall as his palm struck her cheek. Maria sprawled sideways. I watched as red blood spilled from her lip and hit the pristine floor. It looked like a stain that wouldn't come out.

“Alpha, please!” Maria cried out. She was desperate now, clawing at the marble as if she could dig a hole to hide in. “Forgive me! I never meant to cause real harm to you. I only wanted her to be punished! Please, show me mercy!”

Her begging words did not move him. They seemed to slide off him like melting snow. He didn't see a woman; he saw a traitor who had tricked him.

Before I could take a step away and escape the room, I felt Kaelan’s arm slip around my waist. He pulled me back against his side. His body felt warm and solid. It felt too real. I wasn't used to being touched with anything other than a shove or a grip of a guard.

“It’s over,” he murmured. His voice was so close to my ear that I could feel his breath. “You’re safe now. I promise that nothing else will happen to you.”

Something inside me snapped at his words. It was like a string that had been pulled too tight for too long finally broke. I shoved him away with all the strength left in my shaking body. He didn't expect it. He stumbled back a step, and I saw surprise flash across his face. He looked at me as if he didn't recognize me.

“Stay back,” I said. My voice was hoarse and thin. “Just… stay away from me.”

The Alpha’s roar cut through my words like a blade. “Guards! Drag this traitor out of my sight. Give her one hundred lashes. Make sure she never lifts a ladle in this kitchen again.”

Maria screamed. It was a high, thin sound that made my skin crawl. The guards seized her arms and lifted her up. “No! Alpha, I beg you—please!”

Her cries continued to echo down the long corridor as they dragged her away. The sound was finally swallowed by the heavy slam of the doors. After that, a silence settled over the hall. It felt thick and suffocating, like I was trying to breathe under deep water. I couldn't stay here anymore. I had to get out before I choked.

I turned my back on the King and started toward the exit.

“Alex.”

Kaelan’s voice stopped me mid-step. I didn't want to turn around, but I felt like I had to.

“Where are you going?” he asked. I could hear the confusion in his tone. “Father hasn’t apologised to you yet.”

I turned slowly to face him. The entire court was staring at us. Courtiers in their fine silks, nobles with their silver crowns, and guards with their spears—every single one of them was watching to see what I would do. Kaelan stood there in the middle of it all. I noticed the blood still seeping through his torn sleeve. The whip had bitten deep into his skin for me. He was looking at me like I actually mattered. He looked at me like I was a person who deserved something.

I let out a short, bitter laugh. It felt like a cough. “Apologise? To me?”

I didn't plan what happened next. Before my mind could even catch up with my body, my hand moved on its own. The slap rang out sharp and loud. It was the loudest thing in the room. I felt the sting in my own palm. Gasps rippled through the crowd like a wave.

Kaelan didn’t move an inch. He didn’t flinch away from me. He didn’t even blink his eyes. A bright red mark began to bloom across his cheek, but his gaze never left mine. He just stood there and took it.

I turned back toward the throne. I lifted my chin even though my chest felt completely hollow, like someone had scooped the insides out of me.

“He doesn’t owe me anything,” I said. I made sure my voice was clear so everyone could hear me. “I’m not worth an apology from a King.”

I took a step forward, ready to leave, but Kaelan caught my wrist. His grip was firm. He wasn't going to let me go easily, but he was being careful, too. It felt like he was afraid I might shatter if he squeezed too hard.

“Is this how you thank me?” His voice dropped. It was dangerously soft now. “I took the whip for you, Alex.”

“Thank you?” My laugh broke and turned into something ugly. It sounded like a sob. Tears started to sting my eyes, and I yanked hard against his hold. “I’m a slave, Kaelan. I am a nobody. I have enemy blood in my veins.” My voice started to shake, and I couldn't stop it. “I’m not fit to stand this close to royalty. Why do you keep pretending that things are different?”

His eyes flashed a bright gold for a second. “I’m not pretending.”

“Then stop!” I cried out. I didn't care who heard me anymore. “Stop helping me. Stop saving me. It only makes the falling hurt more.” My chest burned with every breath I took. “Christmas Eve is in two days. It’s a time for families. Real families.” My voice dropped to a tiny whisper. “I don’t have a family. I never did.”

I used every bit of my will to rip my wrist free from his hand. “So just leave me alone. Stop making everything worse than it already is.”

I didn't wait for him to answer. I turned and ran.

The palace corridors were a blur as I fled. Servants jumped out of my way to avoid being hit. I heard someone call my name—maybe it was Kaelan, maybe it wasn't—but I didn't stop. I didn't slow down until I reached the cellar. I threw myself inside, slammed the door shut, and slid down the wood until I hit the freezing stone floor.

The tears finally came then. They were hot and uncontrollable. They felt like burning tracks running down my cheeks. I pressed my fists against my eyes, trying to force them to stop, but I couldn't.

I’m so stupid, I thought. So incredibly stupid.

For one small, fragile second in that throne room, I had let myself believe he cared. I let myself think that someone in this cold palace might actually want me alive for a reason other than duty, or pity, or guilt.

Why is my life like this? Why does it feel like it hurts more every single day?

I curled my body inward. I pressed my forehead against my knees and let my shoulders shake. The ground was cold, but I was used to that. I was used to the dark. I was a nobody, and I finally understood that no one would ever truly love a girl with a mark like mine.

So I might as well enjoy whatever is left of this Christmas—while it lasts.