AFFAIRS OF THE HEART

At the comic store

At the comic store.

The amazing thing is ,I met her in a comic shop. Not one of the best , big ones down in the state either, that wouldn’t have been so incredible.

No,it was just the local dive ,the one smelling of old books ,with torn vampriella posters on the walls and sun-bleached ,cardboard cutout of R1-D1 in the window.

It was a Saturday afternoon and, as per my usual routine ,I’d rolled up at Comicool to collect my weekly stash ,check out any new titles that had just arrived  and flirt with Josh ,the geek who was behind the counter ,I figured that he was lonely and didn’t get any attention from a lot of ladies, I f any ladies at all gave him attention. He worked on his own comic shop in between serving customers and that to me was quite impressive .To day something stopped me in my tracks. The shop was normally busy on Saturday, but it was usually full of excitable children and gangs of dorky teenage boys. There was not normally a super-hot chickie in stripy, knee-high socks and a combat dress , Korean too which I found super super hot.She was pursuing the indie comics section.I caught my breath and steadied my nerves.

Trying to play it cool ,I waved hi to Josh and idled over the better look at her, you understand. I would not be caught dead reading that stuff.

Peering furtively at her ,I noticed that she had already chosen a thick pile of books and comics and was now trying to balance them on her left hand while taking another off the shelf with her right. I tried to squint at her but choired and from what I could see it looked like she had good taste .And she was definitely hot, tall and slender and rocking the geek look. I guessed that she was several years older than me .She wore thick-trimmed glasses, had several ear piercings and her hair was tied in ironic brunches .I t was mostly black with a few green streaks .I should start a conversation with her, I decided .

After all,how often does this kind of chance ,or this kind of girl, come along? Okay so there was no way she’d actually be interested in someone as dorky as me, but I’d  had so much experience of rejection , surely I was immune to it by now…..

Thankfully , my obsessive procrastination was stopped in its tracks by the work of gravity. The object of my adoration placed another comic on top of her already wobbly pile and that was enough to cause a landslide effect.

Enraptured with her I was, I  noticed this before she did and leapt across the shop in order to save the plunging books. As I did so I dropped to a crouch , which put me in the embarrassing position of having to look up at her as she first noticed me, as if I’d just proposed to her or was trying to look up her dress.

‘’Wow ,thanks ..How heroic ‘’I was too busy enjoying our new proximity to worry about whether or not I could see a light sprinkling of freckles across her face, and that there was a little green mixed in with the brown of her eyes.

‘’No problem, It’s my sworn duty to protect comic books everywhere’’

‘’That’s cute.’’

‘’Heh,,,yeah’’

I straightened up and handed back her comics, preparing to continue my poor attempt at flirting when I realized with horror what book lay on the top of her pile. The tetttale primary colors and bulging muscles made my eyes hurt.

‘’Oh.. You like superheroes?’’

‘’Hell yes , doesn’t everyone?’’

‘’Erm yes are they are great, ’’I lied.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Josh raise an eyebrow at me.

‘’I’ve got all the classics ‘’She went on, ’’and I love the new ways artists are experimenting with the genre’’

Our  match rating was going down before my very eyes .How could fate be so cruel ,to send me such a beauty only to reveal her  that this unfortunate fact that she was a superhero fan? And yet I found that this unfortunate fact didn’t stop me from imagining what it would feel like to have her legs wrapped around me, her mouth on  mine….

‘’Oh yes ,’’She said ,before going oto pay for her comics .Once she was done and on her way out  the door she turned around and looked at me.. I pretended to be absorbed in a display of horror movie memorabilia in a n order disguise the fact that I’d been staring at her the whole time. I don’t think the ploy worked.

‘’Bye,’’ she laughed.

I blushed and waved.

‘’Wow, I said ,turning to Josh once she was outside ,’’I think I’m in love. Did you see her? The hair?,, the glasses?’’

‘’The love of the superhero comics’’

Josh looked at me pointedly as he handed me my comic stash. We’ve had many discussions over the years the relatives merits of different genres and he knows full well how I feel about superhero comics. He knows that when it comes to comics the complex, layered stories are what I wasn’t. The avant-garde artwork. What I don’t want are improbably proportioned people in spandex sprouting morality at me.

‘’I know ,I know ,,,You think there could ever be a future for me and her? I was obviously way out of my head here thinking of dating her and s**t,,I mean I just had met her, and clearly she has a boyfriend or if am lucky a girlfriend somewhere .

‘’The way you too looked at each other ? Am sure a little thing like that wouldn’t get in the way.’’

As I handed over most  of the money in my purse ,Josh did a quick drawing and slid it across the counter to me. It was a cartoon of my new crush, locked  in a passionate snog, my hands on her perky boobs.

‘’Josh, I said ,’’You are such a pervert’’

As he rang up the scale on the till, I folded up the drawing and slipped it discreetly into my pocket,

‘’You‘re welcome ,’’he said ,not looking up.

I laughed as he handed me my change.

‘’See you .Josh.’’

‘’See you , supergirl’’

I had a quick check to see if there were any kids around before flipping him the finger as I left.

I couldn’t get her off my mind for the rest of the week. Her pouty lips and lengthy legs haunted me as I slept ,as I read as I got ready for work and mooched around the office, I thought again and again how amazing it was that we’d even met , that we’d been in that same shop at the same time. Fate must have had something to do with I, surely?

After all I was planning on that trip being my last comic shop for a while .Much as I loved the place and needed my weekly comic fix, the simple truth was that I was broke. In my final year of university economy was bad and I was barely surviving through my meals. I decided to take a nosedive and ended up graduating at the most inopportune time in decades . As I entered a ridiculously competitive marketplace, suddenly my degree in graphic design looked comical ,When my friends with firsts in business and management couldn’t get jobs ,I knew I had a little hope of ;landing anything within the creative industried .

After lts of depressing rejections ,I managed to get an admin position at a marketing consultancy .So far it had beena funround of photocopying ,but atleast I was in the right industry, and most importantly ,earning my own  oney .With a bit of luck and a lot of discipline ,It wouldn’t be long until I’d saved up enough to finally move out of my parent’s house and ino a place of my own.

That, though was , going to mean sacrifices. Sprawled on my bed later that week .I tried to imagine what I would do for entertainment When I don’t have my regular supply of comics coming in. It was a depressing thought. Maybe I should go back to drawing my own ,I thought idly, something I hadn’t done for years .

Then I remembered Josh’s pervy drawing and went bto fetch it from my bedside drawer .I’d been taking sneaky peeks at it all week .Josh can be and i***t ,but he’s a good artist and he’d captured something about how ,even in that quick sketch.

Maybe I should collab with Josh and we can start our own graphics industry, or better we can own a gallery and have art shows and build a career out of it. I stared at that drawing for   a while. I thought od a future with me and Josh as sole owners of a big gallery shop in New York City where famous artists could join us from across the world. Of course the girl in the comic store would feature in my wild fantasies, where she would be by my side as My first lady and that we would grow old together and make millions of money doing what we al loved with my love beside me.

Saturday was approaching once again and I’d already decided to go back to the shop on the off chance she’d return . I really couldn’t afford to buy anything, but maybe I could just hand around looking cool and impress her with my sharp banter and encyclopaedic comic-book. Knowledge. I wondered whether she was the type who liked to dress up, donning tight fitting leotards ,capes and eye masks to add an extra edge in the bedroom .Maybe I could play the evil villain , tie her up, and have my wicked way with her….Hm, I thought ,maybe this could work out after all.

Once conjured, the X-rated visuals in my head wouldn’t leave ,So I had no choice but to lock the door and wriggle my hand down under my jeans .As I moved it in tiny circles ,the pace of my fantasies increased and soon my c**t was soaking. I pictured stripping her down to bare flesh ,all perky boobs and glistening pussy.I got as far as imagining couching down before her to suck her al the way to orgasm before shuddering my way through an incredibly powerful climax of my own .

Oh god,I thought as I gradually came down from the high ,I am so in trouble.

The following Saturday I got to the shop at an indecently early hour and needless to say,she was not yet there  .I wasted an hour trawling through back issues of comics I’d never heard of trying to avoid the temptation to buy something and chatting with Josh.

Suddenly the bell above the door announced someone entering the shop .Josh and I both turns to stare at the newcomer .My heart started beating wildy ,It was her .

‘’Hello  again. ’She waved at me.

‘’I’’I managed .She looked even better than last week, this time rocking a tight ,strappy top showing ab sexy anime character  and baggy jeans held up with a studded belt .Her black-and-green hair was loose, just reaching to her shoulders ,and she assessed me from behind those hot asf sexy glasses .

‘’I love you top,’’ I said .

‘’Thanks ,’’She replied .’’ Oh ,I brought something to show you .’’

She walked over to the battered sofas kept at the back of the shop and I followed .She flopped into the corner of a couch and rummaged in her bag.

‘’Here you go’’

She handed me a rather well –I book .The words superheroes through the ages were spelled out in bold ,colorful letters on the on the front .I groaned inwardly ,could I really left this façade go on much longer?

‘’Oh..cool..’’I said , flipping through it casually and trying to feign interest .’’I’ll have a proper look later.’’ I placed the offending book on the arm of the sofa.’’ So how’s your week been ?’’

‘’Exhausting .’’ She flopped farther back on the sofa to emphasize her point .’’I have a full –time job, but I’ve got this great idea on in the evenings .The only trouble is, I stay up too late working on it. My coffee consumption ‘s through the roof’’

‘’Oh ,you draw?’’

‘’God no, I can’t draw to save my life trust me.I can’t even do a stick men.I write .I’ll need to find an artist, if this idea ever gets off the ground .Know anyone good?’’

‘’Josh over there’s  a great artist. And well, I’ve dabbled a bit too .’’

‘’Really ?’’ her eyes lit up .That’s sp cool .I’d love to see your art.I bet we could create something amazing together.’’

She was holding me in her steady gaze and I felt excitement ,coming off her in waves .I was suddenly aware of just how close we were on the sofa , how easy it would be to lean across and kiss her lips ,to take her reclining body in my arms….

Bu then the doubts came creeping in.

‘’I’m not that good ,really ,I said .’’I bet you are ,can I take a look at your work?’’

‘’Mybe if you tell me some of your ideas ,I could come up with some character sketches ,Don’t feel like you have to use them though’’

‘’You need to have more confidence in your work, um-sorry ,what was your name?’’

‘’Suzanne’’

‘’I’m  Monica. You need to have more confidence in your work ,  Suzanne.I bet I’ll love it.’’

She squeezed my shoulder in encouragement, causing my nerves to fire into life. We locked eyes for a beat.

‘’So what’s the story about?”

‘’In a nutshell? Dyke superhero.’’

‘’Wow.’’

‘’I just think we need more queers in comics , especially superheroes. Naturally, my heroine has a dual personality-shy bookish girl by day , sexy crime fighter by night,

And ofcourse, women everywhere can’t help but fall for her.’’

My imagination was already working overtime.I told her I’d give it a go.

‘’Great . Well , I better get going , but let’s meet here this time next week. Bring some drawings and I can take you back to the flat to go through them, It’s only down the road.’’

‘’Okay ,sounds like a plan . But I ‘m a bit rusty , you have been warned…’’

‘’Suzanne,’’ She said turning to look me square in the face,’’ I bet you’re amazing.’’

Slowly ,she stroked a stray hair that had fallen across my check ,and tucked it back behind my ear .For a moment I thought she was going to kiss me .Instead she was off out the door , a whirlwind of colorful geekiness ,leaving me wanting and waiting.

As I walked into the comic shop the following Saturday , with a sketchpad under my arm and freshly –colored hair, my heart  started to beat in a way that I had‘nt experienced for quite some time. Then it positively leapt into my mouth when I saw that this week, she had arrived before me,.

‘’Suzzanne hi’’

She was at the till, paying for her comics and waving at me. I waved back awkwardly , despereately trying not to drop my sketchpad . She finished paying and the n jogged over to me.

‘’Right, ready to go?””

‘’Sure, I said not actually feeling ready at all, but suddenly rather sick . It had been a very long time since I was alone with a girl I liked .As we walked she grabbed my hand to lead the way and talked nonstop about comics .I was starting to think I’d found someone who was even more obsessed than me and how lucky I was, just as her chatter turned inevitably to the one thing I can’t stand.

‘’There’s just something about them, you know? The strength, the secret identities, he timeless fight of good against evil. How could anyone love superheroes?’’

‘’Beats me, ’’I shrugged , hoping to come across as authentically baffled. I couldn’t bring myself to expand on my deceit.

Luckily , she saved me from further moral shame by announcing that the small but pleasant looking block of flats in front of us was where she lived .

‘’Step into my abode ,’’She said with a flourish.

I felt nervous as I first stepped inside, but quickly began to feel at home. T was comfortably messy and filled with personality, anime girl statues stared down at me from bookshelves and there were several framed ,vintage comic covers on the wall. The many bookcases were positively groaning with colorfully trade paperbacks and stacks of single issues and encased lovingly in protective bags.

‘’A little over the top ,I know .’’Suzanne laughter .’’But when you got you own place, you may as well make the most out of it.’’Iam  jealous.’’

‘’You wouldn’t be jealous of the bills, though. Anyway. Monica dragged a large coffee table in front of the sofa and cleared it off all sorts of paperwork and chocolate wrappers. ‘’Let’s get to business ‘’

I placed my sketchpad on the table and settled myself on the sofa, wondering what Monica would make of what she would see .

‘’So  I thought  about what you said, about your main character being irresistible, and I sort of went from there, really.’’

She looked at a me inquisitively before flipping to the first page of the pad .Then her expression changed to a mix of surprise and amusement.

‘’You certainly did, didn’t you?’’

I had spent the last week perfecting drawings of females in various stages of f*****g.

‘’I started off by trying to visualize your main character ‘’- I  gestured to the first few drawings , showing a little woman with impressive breasts in a cape with her hands on her hips ,hair blowing in the wind –‘’then I thought it was important to get to grips with anatomy, if she’s going to be doing a lot of seducing.’’

I let Monica flip through the rest of the pad, the drawings getting progressively raunchier as she went along.

‘’Well, Suzanne ,’’She finally said as she flipped over to the last page.’’ these are quite something . Either you have a magnificent imagination or a formidably experienced lover’’

‘’Perhaps a little of both.’’ I smirked

‘’ I am only messing with your head, I think it’s important that I tell you something’’

Monica looked at me straight in the eyes and I knew deep down what she was about to tell me would tear my heart into two pieces. I crossed my fingers that wouldn’t’ be something I couldn’t recover from.

‘’Well, I think it comes of that I have am flirting with you a little bit but am not. I find you attractive, don’t get me wrong but am not in the right head space for what you want.

I can clearly see you want us to have a romantic entanglement ‘’

I let out a heavy sigh as I looked at her.’’ Well, I can always wait from you, I don’t mind.

‘’I know but, it’s not even that, I am seeing someone right now….A man’’ Monica told me as she sulked her eyes.

‘’S o you are straight…’’

‘’Well I guess so, I don’t know, I really find you attractive but I have never been with a woman before.’’

‘’ I think I need to leave now, we’ll continue with the project some other time’’ I told her as I kissed her on her forehead and left.

‘’Wait Suzanne, I didn’t mean to……’’