SpellBound

My First Steps

When I was thrown out of the Witch’s castle, I started to feel dizzy and nervous. What if humans don’t understand me? What if I’m too weird? What if I never manage to meet a boy? Will they force me to go back to sea?

I was holding into the bottle of water tightly, remembering the face of my mother. She had always told me that I should go to the surface. I remembered her stories about the land and how warm it would be out there. The memories of her face and voice overwhelmed me. Nothing ever pained me more than her loss, but I couldn’t cry my agony away.

Mermaids don’t have tears. 

Perhaps, once I’m there, I’ll be able to mourn her death properly.

Afterwards, everything turned black.

I didn’t remember a thing of the process, but when I regained my consciousness, I felt something tickling me on my face. Slowly, I opened my eyes, finding myself staring directly into two pair of blue eyes and a dark grey face. He said with a spiritless expression:

“Hooray! You’re alive. Now, go change that bra!”

He stepped on my face and walked away. But I didn’t mind much the insult; I was trying to figure out what the hell he was. Then, all of a sudden, it came to me. Four legs, ears, hairy body, and a large nose. I shouted:

 “YOU ARE A DOG, I was laughing and shouting at the same time, YOU ARE A LAND DOG! AND YOU SPEAK.”

I was extremely happy of my new discovery. He turned to look at me, not facing me completely, but I could realize from that distance that he was annoyed. He shouted back at me:

“I am a noble wolf! A WOLF! You Weirdo!” 

Then, he turned away. I could not follow him to where he was going because I was glued to the sand. I barely whispered “Thank you, Mr. Wolf” before he vanished completely from my sight.

I did not know what to do, so I stayed there lying on my back, looking at the sky. I was certain that the large space with the fluffy white things above my head was the sky. My mother did not lie. It was beautiful.

I stayed there for a while, grinning stupidly to every two-legged or four-legged creature that passed by. To my surprise, no one approached. There were even some creatures who screamed in fear. I learned later that people thought I was on drugs.

Suddenly, a pair of black big eyes popped up from nowhere, staring at me fiercely.

“Are you Doha? The new immigrant mermaid?”

A female voice said in a businesslike manner. I nodded in approval. I was unable to speak because my lips, my throat, and my tongue were bone dry. She said reproaching me:

“Where is your sweet water bottle? We, specifically, told you to drink it once you’re in land. I don’t know what’s going on with them these days, sending us reckless teenagers. You could’ve died or parched to death. By the way, I’m Sandra, one of the Witche’s agents. I will accompany you to your guardian.”

I was listening to her while making my usual stupid facial expressions, when she, without any previous notice, emptied a whole bottle of water on my face and in my mouth.

And let me tell you, dear Humans! Your water is poison. My limbs tore apart with pain. It was going through my veins and burning my skin. Frankly, I screamed at the top of my lungs, looking at the so-called Sandra with tearful eyes. She was completely enjoying the view.

“Now, get up, baby. I can’t possibly let you roam the earth wearing this bra. It hurt my eyes.”

She helped me stand up and I saw. No, scratch that. I felt, touched, and sensed my OWN human legs.

I screamed once.

Then, I shouted “I am alive, you f*****g humans! I can walk, I am a hero!” I laughed hysterically. It was as if I’m taking my first steps on broken glass. The sand was stinging and every piece of me was throbbing with a bitter sweet pain. I was clenching to Sandra with both hands, wiping all the dirty wet sandy soil on her black suit. She was puffing and huffing in disgust. But, who cared? I had butterflies in my stomach and I had fingers in my feet. They are called toes!

I screamed for the second time. A second passing wave of pain shook me.

Then, as if nothing happened to me, I started giggling, licking the salty droplets running down my cheeks.

And while making my way to the third top-of-my-human-lungs-scream, Sandra let go of me, discarding me as a bag of garbage. I did not notice at the time that people started gathering around us. And I definitely heard someone say “what a bra!”, but most importantly, I saw Sandra talking to someone invisible:

“ Agent Sandra, here. Please, report that I found the immigrant number 2054. She is being hysterical. Bring a stretcher near the ice cream shop and “Disappearance Powder” ASAP. I repeat ASAP. She is clinging to my leg like a mad dog and attracting unnecessary attention. Please, bring a set of clothes. We need to burn her bra.” 

I was shot with a tranquilizer. They said I was stoned from breathing real air for the first time. And I discovered later on that the Witch recorded the reactions of every immigrant mermaid. That night, she gathered every single staff in her castle and they watched together my embarrassing spreading of legs, me checking the new organ I have at the end of my back, picking on my nose, smelling my skin, and being tied to the stretcher and biting one of the agent’s hands. I made it to the Top 5 funny reactions of all time in one night. Legend says that the belly laughs of the Witch were heard all across the waters of The Arctic Sea.