Chapter 5: Being Second
1858 Words
Zendaya’s POV
Friday had arrived quickly and I was so glad because I was so tired. Things had changed a lot in these few days. I no longer cared whether Ransford texted me or not. I no longer rushed to be the first person to text him, I realised I looked desperate and stupid and he was enjoying it. Well, that has changed.
The first thing I did differently that morning was not text him. It sounds small and insignificant. But for someone like me, someone who always sent the “Good morning” first, who checked in, who made sure he felt remembered.
I took my phone to check other but I saw Ransford’s name sat at the top of my phone screen, bold and demanding. I stared at it for a long moment. Then I set it down. I didn’t rush to answer.
I left him unread and got ready for class, moving slowly, deliberately.
"Havana oh na na...mmmm," I started singing while preparing. I had to hurry up cause I had a presentation to do this morning.
"F*ck presentation," I said lazily.
Campus felt louder that day or maybe it was just my thoughts. I got out of my car and took my things ready to rush to class. Before I could close my car door, a hand stopped me.
I raised my head to see who it was and lo and behold, Ransford, leaning against my car, sunglasses hiding the usual mischief in his eyes.
"What do you want," I said, but it came out harshly.
"Whoa, do we both have a problem?" He asked.
Like seriously is he asking me that?
"Please I have to get to class and it seems you are blocking my way," I replied.
That same chest-tightening confidence I once adored now made me tired. He scanned my face as if he were looking for something. That flicker, the one that expected me to smile, to run into his arms, to greet him as if nothing had changed was still there. And I didn’t give it to him.
“Zendaya,” he called, smooth and casual.
“Yeah?” I answered evenly.
“You’re not going to say hi?”
“I just did.” His eyebrows knitted, that microexpression of disbelief I knew so well.
“What’s wrong with you?” he pressed, stepping closer, lowering his voice.
“Nothing,” I said simply.
“You’ve been acting weird since yesterday.”
"Really," I said pretending.
He is here telling me that I've been acting weird, weird? The word almost made me laugh.
“I’ve just been busy,” I added.
He stepped even closer, his voice low and sharp.
“Busy doing what exactly?” I met his gaze evenly.
“Why can't I be busy again, or do I have to ask you for permission before I can get busy?”
“Don’t play dumb,” he snapped softly.
“That guy, Darian.” The name hit like ice.
Darian?? How does he know him?
“Yes, what about him?” I asked calmly.
Something in Ransford shifted, not hurt, not jealousy, but threat. His eyes darkened, sharp and precise.
“Stay away from him” I swallowed.
"Oh so now you want to control me on who and who not to speak to?" I shot back at him.
"Not that but..?
“You don’t get to tell me who I talk to.”
“Since when?” He replied.
Since when?? Is this guy for real? Thinking of it, I began to wonder what I saw in him in the first place.
“Since always.” Silence stretched.
He wasn’t used to this version of me, the one who didn’t immediately soften. He reached for my wrist, just enough to assert himself.
“Zendaya,” he said quietly, “don’t start something you can’t finish.”
For months, that tone would have undone me. Now? It unsettled me. I gently pulled my wrist free.
“I’m not starting anything,” I said.
“I have somewhere important to be,” And I walked away.
My pulse raced not from fear, but from unfamiliar strength. I immediately rushed to class to get myself ready for the presentation.
"I thought you chicken out and weren't going to come," Beatrice said immediately I sat down.
The presentation was over and I must say I did well.
"You did well today," Beatrice said *ss we prepared to leave the class.
"I know right, I thought I was going to mess up."
"Alright, I will catch up with you after baby girl, I've got some things to do," Beatrice said and gave me a peck on the cheeks.
"Alright. You take care okay"
"Bye"
I decided to go to the library. My favourite place, it was so peaceful there. As soon as I got there, someone caught my eye.
I found Darian in the library. Calm and composed. He was flipping through a textbook like the world didn’t notice him though he noticed everything.
“You look lighter,” I said casually as I sat next to him.
“Excuse me?”
I rolled my eyes. “I expected your text but to no avail”
"Ouuu, was someone thinking of me?” he replied sarcastically, faintly smiling.
"Oh please,” I replied.
"Anyways how have you been," he asked.
"Been good, how about you?"
"Well also doing well but it seems since I met someone, I can’t get her off my mind" he said.
I blushed immediately trying to hide it.
"Is someone blushing?" He said teasingly.
"I'm not," I said quickly.
"Well keep lying to yourself," he added and we both laughed together.
Then I asked quietly, testing the waters. “Do you think people can get used to being second?”
He studied me. “Yes, if they think it’s the best they can get.”
“And if they realise it’s not?”
“Then they leave.”
Simple with facts, I just needed to hear the truth from somewhere else.
“What if they’re scared?” I whispered.
“Scared of what?”
“Being alone.”
“Being alone is temporary,” he said.
“Being undervalued becomes permanent if you allow it.” I swallowed.
His presence was different from Ransford’s.
"Why this question though, is someone treating you as a second option?" he asked gently.
“No,” I admitted.
"Okay. That's good, you are too precious and beautiful for you to be treated as a second option" he said.
I paused, "Thank you," I said quietly. This was the first time someone had complimented me like this, I mean coming from a guy.
“If someone doesn’t choose me, I walk,” he added.
The weight of that sentence sank deep. It wasn’t arrogance. It wasn’t charming. It was self-respect. And it terrified me because if I stayed tied to Ransford I would lose my mind.
Darian seemed like someone who wouldn't beg for a chance if he was treated as a second option. He wouldn’t fight. He would simply decide I wasn’t ready and go.
Time passed by as we both started studying intensively.
"I think it's time we get going it's getting late," Darian said and I nodded. We both packed our things and prepared to leave.
Leaving the library, Ransford appeared in our path. Dangerous in the way he held himself. “Zendaya,” he said smoothly, “can I talk to you?”
"Umm, I'm kind of leaving to apartment as you can see," I said calmly.
Darian didn’t flinch. “I’m right here,” he said calmly.
Ransford’s jaw tightened. “This doesn’t concern you.”
"Heyy, why are you being rude, he's my friend," I lashed out at him.
"He should know not to interfere with me," he replied.
"And you should know how to respect ladies," Darian barked back.
"Hold on, hold on, do you both know each other?" I asked both.
"YES!!" They both said together glaring at each other.
Wow, just wow. This was so overwhelming.
"Can you people take this outside, this is a library and the place is supposed to be quiet," the librarian shouted at us.
"Let's take this outside," I said quietly.
The air around us thickened as soon as we got outside.
"Alright...I'm confused right now. How do you both know each other," I asked no one in particular.
"He's my classmate," Darian answered not looking at me but rather at him, Ransford. I couldn't read his expression but it looked like hatred.
"Oohh that explains it. That explains how you knew his name earlier," I said looking at Ransford.
"And I don't want you talking to him," Ransford shot back and grabbed my hand possessively, like claiming territory. I looked up at him.
“Let go.” He froze.
“What?”
“Let go.” He released me slowly, frustration etched into every line of his face.
“You’re acting as if you’ve changed overnight.”
“Maybe I have,” I said, calm but firm.
“Don’t forget who you were before me.”
"Before you? I had friends. I had confidence, I had life. Before you, I was whole. I wasn’t half a person before you,” I said steadily.
"You shattered me, Ransford."
Silence filled the air. His eyes darkened in recognition or was it realisation? He angrily turned to Darian wanting to hit him and I immediately stood in front of him trying to protect him.
Ransford’s hand was mid-air and he stopped when he saw I was in front of Darian. He placed his hand down, rubbing his hair with his fingers as if he was frustrated.
“You think she’ll choose you?” he muttered to Darian.
“I don’t need her to choose me,” Darian said evenly.
“I need her to choose herself.” That stopped Ransford cold.
“Fine,” he muttered finally, his voice low, sharp.
“If you walk away don’t come back,” he said to me.
I met his gaze. “I won’t,” I said softly.
He simply turned not without giving Darian another glare and walked away.
"Thanks for protecting me but you shouldn't have done that he could have hit you," Darian said calmly.
"I couldn't watch him hit you," I replied.
"I wouldn't have allowed him, thanks anyway"
"What's your history with hum though," he added.
It was something I wasn't ready to talk about.
"It's a long story," I simply said.
He was quiet for some time then said, "I'm here anytime you are ready to talked"
I gave him a nod and smiled, "Thanks."
"You should get going home it's getting dark, I wouldn't want anyone kidnapping you," he said with a sense of humour and I laughed.
"Alright, see you on Monday," I said and we both bade our goodbyes going to our cars and took off.
On my way home I felt free. Freedom didn’t feel light. It felt alive.
*Ding
"Babesss, get ready we're going out tonight, it's Friday nightttttttt,"
Ugh, Beatrice.
- Writer
