Until The Very End

CHAPTER 4: The Darkest Days of Matt Williams

            Matt drives out of In Me Guarda, using his cheap car. It was already 6:00 o’clock in the evening, but he still has the spirit to go even he was late. The colourful place of the carnival welcomed him when he arrived. The lights that made the rides sparkles on a dead night, the loud music from every amusement rides, the screaming, the laughter, the noises and the chattering of people, which drives him mad easily, were present.

            There were so many people there, making it difficult for him to look for his friend, Rodolfo. He tried to wander around, turning his head from left to right, hoping to find Rodolfo as soon as he can stand there. Sadly, he was unsuccessful in doing it. No Rodolfo or his shadows appeared to his sight for so many faces around the carnival place. He couldn’t help looking for his watch, checking the time, as he attempted to look for Rodolfo once more. Up to that time, he failed.

            “Come on, Rod, where the hell are you?” he began talking to himself.

            Tired of walking within the carnival area, he decided to try one of the carnival games. The first game that caught his attention was the Balloon Dart Throw. Without looking for another option to play, he went to it.

            “Hi,” he began, smiling. “I’d like to play this game.”

            “Kiddo, I must say first that you are in a game operated pay-per-play,” the carnival employee said. He was a beefy, not-that-very-old man, with glasses and a top hat.

            “Meaning?” Matt curiously asked.

            “You’ll have to pay first before you have a chance to play, kiddo,” the employee replied to him kindly. “25 cents per play.”

            “All carnival games requires your money. Thought you should know it,” a man on the right, who was smoking, interrupted.

            “Thanks,” said Matt to the strange man, handing a dollar to the employee. “I’ll play four times.”

The employee gave him three-pointed darts. “The tips aren’t heated and the balloons are inflated to its full air capacity.”

            “Okay.”                     

            Matt threw the darts one at a time without 5 seconds had passed. And to his expectation, every darts popped a balloon. The man and the employee stood in shock, lost in thought. He came nearer to them.

            “That was fast,” the man and the carnival employee said with their eyes balled in shocked.

            “It was?” smiled Matt to both of them.

            “You still have nine darts left,” the employee handed him nine darts.

            And again, Matt threw the darts. But this time, he finished without ten seconds had passed. Nine darts popped nine balloons. Equal. Both the employee and the man looked at him with astonishment, but he finds it very odd. Matt was the first player to hit 12 balloons in a row.

            “What?” he smiled as he came closer to them.

            “Congratulations, kiddo,” the carnival employee gave him a baby-size brown bear stuffed toy.

            “Thanks,” responded Matt while accepting his prize.

            “Anywho you find better, Jesky?” a handsome man came, asking the man who was smoking.

            “Look who decided to show up!” exclaimed the man named Jesky then added to Matt, “Boy, this is my husband, Chris. And Chris, you wouldn’t believe this little boy.”

            Matt stood with a stupefied face. He couldn’t believe how Jesky introduced Chris to him. A man has a husband? He looked from Jesky to Chris to the carnival employee and back again to Jesky.

            He took one gulp and asked Jesky, “Your husband?”

            Jesky stepped forward to reach Chris’ lips. They kissed for a second and went on saying, “We had our marriage at exactly 4 years to this day.”

            “Happy Anniversary, then,” Matt greeted them a bit shyly.

            “We appreciate it,” replied Chris, smiling and turn to Jesky, “Why would I not believe him? About what?”

            “Could you show him what you did earlier? Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it,” Jesky turned his head to Matt.

            “Sure, but it’s a bit uncomfortable if you pay for me. Allow me to use my money,” Matt responded in a good manner.

            Chris and Jesky grinned and nodded. So as the carnival employee.

            “How’s this. I’ll pay for all the balloon there and hit it with every darts. It’ll be a little show, and I’d like you to see it as my anniversary gift,” Matt told them excitedly.

            “Fun,” replied Chris happily. Jesky nodded happily.

            The carnival employee began counting the balloons. There were only forty-nine balloons left on the board. Matt placed down his stuffed toy, handed 4 dollars to the carnival employee, and received a box of darts. He took 4 steps backwards, carrying the box of darts. He then took a glimpse of the couple and set the box on the ground.

            Five darts on his left hand and one on his right for the first round. He threw the six darts within exactly at 4 seconds. He gazed at Jesky and Chris, who were clapping. Moments after, he removed his black long sleeve and let it rest on the ground.

            He grabbed three darts on his right and three on his left. He performed the backflip jump, and when both feet reached the ground, he threw one dart. He backflipped again and threw the other dart. Before he threw one dart, he performed a backflip jump. He ran to the box and picked up three darts, place it in his mouth as to how the dog carry its bone, ran back to his last position after performing six backflips, and normally jumped with both palms on the ground added with a double layout jump. After so, he threw the three darts with his right hand simultaneously.

            Running back again to the box, he tossed five darts on the air like a coin. He stands up and started catching the falling dart in its flight and throw them again in the air. He was literally juggling the five darts for two minutes and threw the first falling dart until the fifth one straightaway to the board with balloons.

            With every throw of the dart to the board, he presented different kinds of jumps such as a back layout with a 360-degree twist, 720-degree twist, 1080-degree twist, a back pike, x-out and so much more to add entertainment. His little show lasted ten minutes with the last throw of the dart at approximately 4 meters distance from the board after performing 4 double backflipped. He hit all balloons.

            To his surprise, he was surrounded by everyone’s applauses. It looks like, while he was performing, more and more people were attracted and tempted to watch him closer. He was sweating and out of breath yet smiling when he came to Jesky and Chris, who were totally stupefied, but still clapping.

            “THAT WAS MARVELOUS!” shouted Chris.

            “MAGNIFICENT!” Jesky followed.

            “MAJESTIC!”

            “MYSTERIOUS!”

            “MAGICAL!”

            “MIND-BLOWING!”

            “MASTERY!”

            “MONUMENTAL PERFORMANCE!”

            “MASSIVE PERFORMANCE!”

            “MEMORABLE!”

            “MOMENTUS!”

            “Honestly though, that was the best gift we ever received,” Jesky told Matt sincerely, smiling. His eyes were about to drop tears. “I couldn’t thank you more.”

            “Ladies and Gentlemen! The only person who gave us a free fantabulous performance tonight here at the country fair…” Chris began shouting to the audience who were applauding, taking a video and screaming. “What is your name again?”

            “Matthew,” lied Matt, still panting.

            “…MATTHEW!” Chris finished, raising his right fist like he won a billion-dollar. The screaming and yelling of the crowd grew louder.

            “Are you alone? Is there anything we can help you with?” Chris asked after a couple of minutes of enjoying with the crowds.

            “I’m… looking… for… my… friend,” Matt was still gasping.

            “A friend?” It was Jesky’s turn to ask.

            “You told me, at first, that you know nothing about carnival, and I’m very excited to show you every single thing that people did here. I thought you’d be amazed. But, no. I was. You showed me a completely brilliant performance which I never watched before. I am even more impressed. Far from surprised,” a man’s voice started to talk from somewhere in the crowd and reveal himself by walking out of the crowd to Matt, Chris, and Jesky. The man gave Matt’s black long sleeve.

            “Rodolfo!” cried Matt.

            “This is your friend?” Jesky questioned.

            “Yeah.”

            Rodolfo smiled at Chris and Jesky as greetings. And they did the same thing to Rodolfo.

            “Your friend?” Chris repeated and added an unexpected question, “Nothing much like ‘us’?”

            Chris means more than a friendship. A boyfriend. Matt gets what Chris was trying to say.

            “No, no. It’s not…  no. We’re not… no,” Rodolfo stuttered with his eyes balled.

            “You knew?” Matt questioned Rodolfo in shock.

            “Know what?” Rodolfo asked back. “Oh, yeah. ‘course I know. It’s obvious. I mean, the way how close they were.”

            “Okay,” said Matt. “He’s right. We’re not. J-just friends.”

            “Are you sure? You two look perfect together?” Jesky followed Chris's question.

            “What?!” both Matt and Rodolfo jumped in shock then looked at each other awkwardly and back to the couple. “No way. It’s not gonna happen.”

            “Hey!” called the carnival employee. All their head turned to him. “Come and get your prizes.”

            The carnival employee already prepared 4 baby-sized teddy bears on his table. Matt thought of something.

            “Uhmm, Jesky, Chris, I want you to have them,” Matt turned to them. “As my material gift for your anniversary.”

            “I’d love them.” Chris smiled like he never did before.

            Matt finally wore his sleeve. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get going. I have something important to explain in my friend.”

            Rodolfo was struck by lightning in shock for what he has had heard.

            “Thank you. Have a great night to both of you,” Jesky thanked Matt.

            “Not a problem,” responded Matt as he picked up his first prize from before and added to the employee, “Thanks, man.”

            The employee nodded as a reply and Matt walked away from them. Rodolfo had no idea what this something important that awaits him from Matt. He followed Matt without a word. The people who watch Matt were back in their businesses. Matt leads himself to his car, opened the door and let sit the bear stuffed toy inside. He turned around after closing the door. Rodolfo was looking at his face.

            “You could tour me around,” he started the conversation.

            “I thought you’re not coming,” replied Rodolfo, still in shock.

            “I got bored. Let’s go,”

            “What was it?”

            “What was what?” he questioned back. He knew that Rodolfo was referring to his performance earlier. “Okay, look. I came here to tell you who I am. I couldn’t stand every day if I keep hiding my true self from you, guys. I’m thinking that once you know about me, I’ll be okay.”

            “What? Why?”

            “I’m exhausted, I need water, Any idea where to buy a bottle of water?”

            Rodolfo and Matt went to the vendor and bought water. Matt finished the whole bottle in one go. He asked for another bottle and drank it. Rodolfo watched him.

            “Wanna ride the Ferris Wheel?” Rodolfo asked before Matt could speak.

            Matt agreed, and they went directly to the carnival employee of the Ferris Wheel and pay for the ride. The Ferris Wheel was an enclosed type. The employee opened the door for them and closed it. They settled themselves in their seat. It started to move and stopped to let others settle down.

            “I’m…” Matt started but thought of something again.

            “You are?”

            “Look, everything I’ll say will stay to both of us. Please, I don’t want anyone to know about me, please?” asked Matt for reassurance.

            “I promise. But can you tell me why?”

            “Because I fear and hate the public,” Matt answered. “As I was saying, I am the CEO of one big company.”

            “YOU ARE WHAT?” gasped Rodolfo. Matt suddenly stretched out his hand to covered Rodolfo’s mouth. “I’m sorry. Wait, at your age? What company is it?”

            “Yes. At the age of fifteen, I became the CEO of the company named, ‘te amo,” answered Matt.

            “ ’te amo?” Rodolfo echoed. “It’s popular! I heard about this company. Wait, at the age of fifteen? Where were your parents? Why they didn’t take the job? You’re too young to hold such company.”

            Matt sighed and looked at Rodolfo, “I never had parents. Of course, I have, but what I meant was, I never had the chance to live with them. Or see them from distance. Or talk to them. Or hug them.”

            “What happened to them? Are they… dead?”

            “I don’t know. The first thing I knew when I had developed my memory, I was in this place like a prison. Had breakfast with the same food as yesterday, and the day before yesterday. Slept in a bedroom room with other kids. Went to school. What I do in one day was the almost thing  I did every coming day during that time.

            “Our school was a few feet away from the building where I slept. It was probably part of the orphanage. My classmates in that school were my fellow orphans. I couldn’t stand seeing their faces every day from the moment I woke up to the time I close my eyes to sleep. Then there’s this kid named Kent who was always bullying me because of how skinny I was. He and his friends enjoyed the time bullying me when no houseparents or teachers were nearby.

            “There was this day when I was about to leave the school’s restroom, I accidentally bumped him. He got mad and started punching me in the face until I realized that I am lying on the floor with my arms covering my face, and I am losing my consciousness from Kent’s punches and kicks. I was so helpless. I tried to call for help, but I couldn’t even utter a single word because of the pain. When Kent knew that a few more punches and kicks could totally kill me, he stopped and began peeing on me. I could not move my muscles to avoid his pee so after hours of gaining energy, I went outside of the bathroom and out of the school building soaked in pee. Everyone was laughing at me. I am a mess.

            “I arrived at the bathroom of our room where we sleep to clean myself up, but the time I set my foot inside I completely lost my consciousness. The next thing I knew, I was lying in the hospital bed, still in the orphanage. I asked the nurse named Mrs Mindy, who was assisting me by the time I opened my eyes to what happened to me. She told me that I fainted in the bathroom, and they only knew about it during the night of the same day. No one had noticed me the whole day because everyone was in school. She informed me that I was lying on that bed for seven months already. I was in a coma for hitting my head pretty badly. Mrs Mindy also told me that it was only she and the janitor of the orphanage who sang me a happy birthday. None of the kids had visited me on my birthday, or they have probably forgotten my birthday. I was the youngest orphan in the orphanage.

            “Mrs Mindy checked me how I was every couple of hours. I asked her one time why every time I breathe in and out, I feel pain in my chest. I felt hopeless for the pain it caused. She answered that it might probably because of the medicine I am taking for my full recoveries. She gave me this spirometer device to help me with my breathing. Sometimes, she asked for assistance from the janitor to carry me carefully onto the wheelchair and she will take me outside of my room to have fresh air. She secretly does this because whenever a nurse saw us, they will put me back in my tedious hospital room. And sometimes, she will just inform me to put my jackets on, and she will start to assist me to walk. She was too careful with me while we were walking, especially when we are at the stairs leading to the rooftop. It is the best place to go because no nurse can see us up there.

            “She brought me books to read while I was waiting for the time for my whole body to recover. It was nice having something to do than staring at the hospital ceiling, wishing it was night so I could make it to the day where I can finally go out on my own. I was so excited about that day. Her books were worth reading. Once, I read this story about the bully and the victim. I captivated the author’s note saying, If your life were already threatened by them, do not just sit there and wait for it to happen again. Once is enough. You are alive to this time because managed to. What if the second time is your end? Be the armour of your own life.

            “Because of those words, I build my confidence back. I knew exactly what to do when I got out of that hospital. But a month after I gained my consciousness, Mrs Mindy died. She was too old and had stopped her medication for her Diabetes due to lack of finances. If I could turn back the time, I swear I would give her the best treatment she deserved just like she did to me when I needed someone. I was so heartbroken. During the night, my sobs echoed the whole room. When every time a nurse came, I shouted at them. I shouted to the top of my lungs that they shouldn’t have let her work. That they were all so stupid to let her stopped her medication. And that they should’ve had bought her medicines. All nurses who came did not argue with me for shouting at them. It seemed like, they were trying to fit themselves in my shoe. I was glad that they just walked away after I shouted at them.

            Matt's eyes were watering in tears.

            “What breaks my heart the most was, I never had the chance to see her cold face nor attend her funeral. I kept begging the nurses to let me see her one last time, but they gave me the news that left me horrified. They told me that I have a rib fracture, and I was told to stay in bed until I am fully healed.  Also they told me that it takes one to two months to heal my rib.  But it was already eight months! I’ve been in bed for eight months, surely my ribs were fully recovered! That explains why I feel pain every time I breathe. Mrs Mindy lied to me. Maybe I haven’t healed my own ribs. So I followed their instructions on what should I do. They tried so many testing processes to have an answer to why I haven’t recovered yet that time.

            “More and more days had passed since the funeral of Mrs Mindy, but I couldn’t forget her. I don’t know the reason why she lied to me, but I forgave her. I always hope that every time that creaky door of my hospital room opened, I hope I see Mrs Mindy’s smiling face with another rose she always puts in the vase beside my bed to change the wilted one. Then, I received another news which made me happy. They told me that all books that in Mrs Mindy’s possessions were left to me. I was so happy because those books would be something to remind me of Mrs Mindy. After I heard that news, I immediately asked a nurse to deliver me one pile of books to keep my mind busy.

            “A book entitled Medical-Surgical Nursing caught my attention first.  It was Mrs Mindy’s personal guide book and was legitimately published. It’s quite old, but I could still read those letters. I started to look and study about rib fractures. And I could see why Mrs Mindy would let me go outside of the room or walked me out to the rooftop. She was giving me a real treatment to help my ribs to recover! Why those nurses don’t know it? I decided to heal myself in the book-way. I did every instruction that was written. My body was in good shape again after another month.

            “Denver, the janitor, come visit me one day before I was discharged from the hospital. He barely visited me because he had to work all day as a janitor with no co-worker. The first question I asked him was why Mrs Mindy lied about my rib fracture. He said that she didn’t tell me because she doesn’t want to worry myself too much. Telling me about it would probably leave me hopeless in that room, and I was too young to carry such problems. She didn’t tell me, but she promised to help me recover from my hopeless days.

            “Then I found out that the nurses in that hospital were unregistered. They were fake. I came back to the school, but everyone treated me like a ghost. Kent seemed to be afraid of what had happened to me. He did not bully me anymore, but he kept throwing looks like he’s about to kill me. I was so sick of that place that I came up with a plan on escaping. The orphanage was barricaded with tall walls and spiky thorns made in metal and surrounded by security cameras. So no chance of escaping there with all of my books. I behaved like one orphan should do so that the houseparents would recommend me to those parents who wanted an adoption. It worked.

            “Two months after, I’ve got adopted. I was excited preparing my stuff. Before that day, out of my anger to him and something to that he can remember, I spilt kerosene to Kent’s bed and set it on fire one night. I only meant to scare him. This causes burnout to Kent’s both legs. I knew it was a first-degree burn because I studied the whole book of Mrs Mindy. Thankfully, no one had seen me do that. It was his time to suffer from the hospital where I suffered too.

            “I was in the car outside of the orphanage walls. My books and other pieces of stuff were in the trunk. My new father started the engine of the car when I interrupted that I have forgotten something valuable under my pillow, and my favourite doll was left on my school desk. They split ways to get those things faster. I’ve waited a moment until they were inside. Then I drove far myself from the orphanage, thinking of my own ways of living my life. I found an old deserted house near the woods, not very far from the city. I learned driving through books, but I was having a hard moment reaching out the brake.

            “I lived there. My life was nothing more than reading books and inventing something to eat during daylight. At nighttime, it crept me up when I heard noises from outside the house. I have no choice but to sleep on the cold ground with no campfire or something to warm myself. I couldn’t lit a fire because that will give a signal that there is someone in that house. I don’t want to get caught. My days of being a child were nightmares.

            “One day, I tried to wander around the city. I disguised myself. It has been two months since I was gone. I saw lots of missing posters of me. Though I haven’t recognized my face on the missing poster but I remember that old striped brown t-shirt I am wearing with my favourite doll. My days in that house were counting. I knew that they’ll find me there now that everyone in the city knew about me. I ran to plan for something. But something stopped me when I got back to my hiding place. 

            “There were screaming and shouting for help somewhere. I know how it feels like seeking help when there is no chance for someone to help. I couldn’t ignore it and started following the voice. I was far from my hiding house when I found a man who was bitten by a snake. I know it sounded very wrong, but I rinse the man’s wound with my drinking water and gently pressed a clean cloth for cover while I kept telling him to calm down. I made a big campfire as I could. The more smoke that emits, the better. When done, I asked for the man’s phone and called the 911 emergency. With my voice disguised, I pretended to be the victim. I told them that if they follow the thick smoke in the woods, they would find me somewhere there. After the call, I assured the man that there was better help coming for him. I’m not sure if he heard me, but he grabbed me in my arm and said that I should stay in that house.

            “I don’t know what the man meant, but I stayed in that house. Luckily, no one from the emergency or police officers had found that house. As I continued to live in the woods, I discovered a lake. It was big, unlike the river where I used to clean myself and wash my clothes. I drove the car to the shore of the lake. It took me the whole day to do that. When I made it to the shore, I started the engine of the car and let it drift into the bottom of the lake. I watched it drowned.

            “After another two months, the man came to woods. I was surprised that he wanted to adopt me and bring me to his home. I never had a second thought because I wanted to have a real home. On that very day, I left my hiding house. That was the beginning of my new life. He said he could call me uncle.

            “At the age of 10, we agreed to return to the orphanage for legal adoption. At first, the houseparents didn’t want to and was suspected my uncle of k********g. But my uncle had proven himself innocent, so he had finally adopted me legally. At the age of 15, he announced to his whole company and subsidiary that I am the new CEO of ‘te amo, the parent company. And that was the time I asked him if I could have my own house with my own design. He agreed, and now, we live in a different house, but still keep in touch with one another. And my mission why I have to go to this university while being the CEO of the company is to finish college for the company’s background information.

            “What was your age when Kent bullied you?”

            “I was five. I turned six at the hospital and seven in the woods.”

            "Have you had the chance to visit Mrs Mindy's grave?"

            "Yes."

            "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked about who you are."

            Rodolfo came closer and hugged Matt out of the blue. Matt hugged back Rodolfo tightly. They haven’t noticed that they were going around in the Ferris Wheel for ten times straight. After, they decided to go on another rides. This made Matt forget about his pasts.