Looking for Wildflowers

Chapter 9

Riley scrubbed at the walls and Taylor worked on the floor. They decided to just burn the old couch since neither one liked it anyway.

"I'll get you a new one." Riley promised as he threw it in the firepit he had created in the backyard.

They worked for hours until their wrists and arms ached and their skin was peeling from the cleaner. Finally, they had removed every trace of blood there was. It was almost like it never happened.

But Taylor knew it did. And Riley knew it, too. They were just keeping silent about it.

That night, they both lay awake, staring at the ceiling.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Riley offered, knowing Taylor was not in a good headspace at the moment.

"I don't know what there is to say." Is all she said as silence fell over them once more.

"Do you think I'm a terrible person?" He barely whispered. Taylor wasn't even sure if she had heard him right.

"Absolutely not. If you hadn't done it, I would have. I hate to say this about anybody, but he got what he deserved. Especially after how he treated us growing up." Taylor was firm with his words but gentle with her tone. She wanted to make sure Riley knew the truth but also that she was there for him and that his feelings were valid.

"I know he was a piece of s**t, but murder seems a bit far." Riley said as he felt tears build in his eyes, causing him to angrily wipe them away. "I wish I didn't care, but I do care. A lot." He finally admitted. His voice was weak and tired.

Taylor just sat and listened.

"Growing up, he always made me feel like I didn't deserve to be alive. Like I was nothing but a huge burden and a pest to everyone. And yet somehow, even though he's dead, he still has that power." She began crying herself as they both let their emotions take over. She wasn't mourning his death, but her innocence. His chest felt heavier than a ton of bricks and the two of them wanted nothing more than to just curl up in a ball and die.

"If it makes you feel any better, I now have some closure for the things he did. So somehow, yet again, yet help me at your expense. I appreciate that." Taylor was sincere with her words, knowing she'd still be huddled by the barely burning stove for heat if he hadn't showed up. Riley just stayed silent as the aur lightened just a tiny bit.

"Hey, listen. You're not a burden or a pest. You deserve to be alive a lot more than some people I know. Personally, I love having you around." Taylor said once they had calmed down some.

Riley just lay with his hands covering her face, too tired to move them. He was also using them to hide the tears he couldn't hold back.

"I just want to f*****g die." He cried, his voice muffled. Taylor felt her heart sink as she heard those words.

"Come here." He laid her legs over him and brought her in for a hug, resting his head on top of hers as she soaked his shirt and he soaked her hair. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, Riley." She whispered down intohis shoulder, trying to bring him comfort and let im know that in the end, at least one person cares for him. He's not alone, even though he may feel it.

"You'd move on as everyone else would." He whined as he got as close as possible to Taylor, looking for the comfort she was offering.

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't just move on when someone you love dies."

Taylor looked up at him, her face red and puffy, tears still streaming.

"I love you, Riley. It's okay if you don't feel the same way, but I can't help it. If I lost you, I don't think I'd ever fully recover." He reached up and held her face gently, wiping the tears that continued to fall.

"I love you too." He finally said, calming down a bit. Once he had calmed down enough, he laid back against the bedframe, with his arms still wrapped tightly around her.

They stayed like that for a while, taylor trying to keep Riley together, and Taylor trying not to let her emotions take over again.

"Do you want to go on the back porch?" Riley offered as thunder rumbled nearby, signaling a storm. Taylor nodded and they both went out to the swing, as rain slowly started hitting the tin roof. Riley got Taylor all comfy on the swing and went to make her some tea. Once he returned, he saw her laying against the pillows, her eyes fluttering shut.

He sat the tea on the small coffee table and got on the swing himself. Riley took a few moments to watch the rain and how the moon still shone through the dark stormy clouds.

"Come here." He motioned for Taylor to come and lay next to him. Although she was falling asleep, she pushed herself up and went to lie next to him, placing her head on his chest. Riley pulled out a fluffy blanket he had found and tucked it around them. The weather was starting to get cooler, but with the blanket and each other, it was just right. Riley may have been breaking apart at the seams, but he could appreciate a nice moment like this.

He held Taylor close, staring up at the roof, while she slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Don't worry, you'll always be safe with me." he whispered as he kissed the top of her head.

Despite the circumstances, Riley couldn't be happier. His whole life, he dreamt of having someone like Taylor to provide and care for and a nice house, and now he has that. Although images of the scene from earlier kept flashing in his head, he was able to fall asleep himself, the sound of rain and thunder singing them into a deep sleep.

*A few weeks later*

Taylor woke up to birds chirping and the sun peaking through the windows and shining through the thin curtains. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she looked over at Riley who was still asleep. His eyelashes fluttered as his eyes twitched and moved, his lips a soft rose color that made Taylor bite her lip.

No, now's not the time. She told herself as her head hit the pillow once more, and she continued watching him sleep. However hard she tried, the feelings kept growing. She wanted him. And she wanted him to know exactly how much she wanted him.

Just as she had rolled over and fought those feelings back with everything she had, she felt him roll over and move closer to her, bringing her against his bare chest. Taylor's heart felt like it may pound out of her chest as she felt him slowly reach up under her nightgown and place a tight hand on her inner thigh.