Goddess Reborn

Real or illusion

We spent the day practicing how to glamour, well I did; the guys did not need to practice as they were already quite comfortable in all of this. As we did so I learned more and more about when you would use such an ability versus when you would do something that was not an illusion. The whole idea was about the functionality, is it about the perception of the moment or an ongoing need? Clothing, food, things we need to sustain ourselves, all needed to be real. We could not feed or cloth ourselves in an illusion. Tricking someone to think you look different is a perfect time for a glamour, or according to Roman, when you want to pull a practical joke.

As we went through first how to glamour, then how to pull something real into existence I found myself becoming exhausted. The effort it was taking to use my mind and my new powers was more than I expected and I was quickly running out of steam. I decided to take a break on the couch and in that moment I caught Deacon watching my movements. The look in his eyes was something I had seen throughout the day, a mix of pride and concern with something else. I raised an eyebrow as I looked to him with a small smile, which quickly had him looking down.

"Deacon? What happened between us? Or is happening? I don't really know how to refer to it yet." I asked, causing both men to stop and look at me. It was clear there were things I had not yet been told and they seemed hesitant to tell me about it all as the looked between each other. The look on their faces told me this would not be a conversation I wanted to have, but since that first touch I knew there had to be something. At that point I did not even know who he was to me, likewise he thought I was no one, so that must have been telling for him as well.

"I suppose we should start at the beginning, if you think you are ready for that." Deacon said with a sigh, looking at me, searching my gaze for approval to continue. I nodded as I took a deep breath to prepare myself for what was to come. "We have been together in this form as Mags mentioned for a very long time, longer that you probably even understand possible. We have seen civilizations rise and fall, and the three of us have been together for all of it. You and Roman have always been close, friends, at one point lovers, but not for long." He paused to look at Roman at that point. Roman shrugged explaining that hot or not, we were not compatible that way, stating it was like kissing his sister. That made sense as I could not imagine him as anything more, sure maybe some fun and flirty moments but there would be no emotion to it. Anything we would do together would be for show, and I did not feel any pull toward him.

"You and I, well, we started to become more when you and Roman had to rescue me from my spiral. When you and Roman came I was in a downward spiral and it was in my worst moment that I realized how much you meant to me. As I rebuilt myself with your help, we grew closer. That was a few thousand years ago and since then I have never been as lost as I was that day, and hope to never be again." He finished. I could see the pain in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He has had to sit here and watch me try to remember my life while he knew everything and just wanted it to be like it was before. Instead of rushing me to get to where he wanted me to be he has been here keeping his distance and allowing me to find myself.

"What happened that you needed rescuing from?" I asked, really wanting to understand where we had come from, what had brought us together. He shook his head, clearly not wanting to share that.

"Hey, don't take it personally." Roman interjected. "There is a lot you still need to learn and know, but understand that just like back then when we helped him, now we are here to help you." He said with a small smile.

"I didn't say anything because I don't want to force you into anything. If your feelings for me return, then I will be over the moon, but that is not the focus right now. We have until the end of time to see if that happens again. For now, the focus is on getting back our teammate and friend." Deacon told me, comforting me with his lack of judgement. He knew that I needed to understand where I am and who I am before I could become the person he had a relationship for. I decided in that moment not to tell him about the rush of feelings when he touched my hand, it could have all been in my head from the change of form, or something else I just did not understand yet.

The whole topic was a difficult one and made us all a bit on edge, unsure of where to go next. As we looked around at each other I did not know what to say to them. Suddenly a puppy came wondering into the room and I could not help but giggle at the cute little ball of fur. Roman laughed and went to play with it. I was able to see how much fun the idea of glamours and such could be when you are bored, being able to create the illusion of a new thing to comfort you. Then it hit me that creating something just to comfort you seemed kind of sad. "Do you ever find it lonely? You're both here without any real interaction, just me and my broken mind."

"First Isla, your mind isn't broken, just clouded. You need to give yourself time to remember and learn what you knew before. Second, this isn't typical for us. Once you are strong enough to get back out there and see what we really do, you will see that our existence is pretty amazing. There is a whole lot you need to learn and see, and if you don't remember it right away that just means we get to watch you see it all for the first time like a kid in a candy store. Not going to lie, that seems pretty awesome, don't you think?" Roman answered. I felt at ease with his answer, rather than feeling pressured to remember everything I used to be right away.

"But what if I don't remember?" I asked sheepishly, hoping the meaning of my question would not be lost on its intended audience. The words had barely left my mouth when I felt the couch dip and my hand being held by his.

"Maybe you won't, I hope you will, but if you don't maybe that means I'm meant to woo you all over again." He said with a smile. "Or our time is done, we don't know. What I do know is that the love I have for you, that we both have for you, won't go away. So, whether it takes a day, a week, or one hundred years, we will be here with you every step of the way." His words held so much certainty of the future we have as a team while having none for a love I could feel he had for me. I wanted more than anything to remember that love as well, or at least some assurance that it is what I felt in that initial touch, but even now when he had taken my hand in his there were no sparks. I knew it was him, there was a comfort, a calming, that I felt but no big crescendo of fireworks. All I could do was smile at him and lean into his body, getting comfortable in his presence. Initially when I did so he stiffened, unsure of what to do, but then he relaxed and put his arm around me.

"Tell me more, about our lives before, our friends, Mags. Help me remember who we are and what we are." I asked, though there was no real question there. I needed to understand everything that I could.

From there the guys started explaining as much as they could, starting with Mags, since they realized I had no idea what her role in all of this was. They told me about her being our creator and our closest ally, that when we all first came to be she was there to guide us in our roles. From what they knew she is a God, though which one was always left fuzzy. "So, Mags isn't her actual name?" I asked, somewhat surprised. They had always known her as Mags, but they had learned over the centuries that not everything was as it seemed.

"There are more gods and creatures like us out there than you would expect, and from what we can tell not all of them get along. Gods change their names and have secret pacts for some impending war. The Greeks always spoke of the war between the Gods and the Titans. The Norse had Ragnarok, even the Christians had a fight between the Angels and God. The only difference is they all speak of these as separate events, I think it's something else. One war, just told from many sides." Roman explained. It was clear this subject was on their minds and they knew more about it.

"Where do we fit into all of this then?" I postured. We were not the same as the gods I figured, but we were not human either. Deacon answered this time.

"We are immortal creatures, created by the gods, to help influence the path of man. If you were to look at this like there are sides, or alliances you could see it a couple ways. Are we on the side of man, here to protect them from the inevitable fall of the gods? Or are we here to support our creator in the next coming war? Honestly, we don't know." He finished. I could tell this troubled him, but there was little I could to comfort him.

We did all agree that until we knew more then we could not try and guess. This did not stop us from being distracted by the conversation, but it was an attempt at trying to make ourselves feel more at ease. To break the tension I asked them to give me a breakdown on what exactly it is we do.

"We influence the humans into decisions, sometimes ones that were outside of their nature, other times ones that they were already capable of. Each of us has a skill or trait that we are able to influence, as well as its opposite." Roman explained. "Take my for instance, I am able to influence the humans to become confident, sure of themselves and able to take on the world. However, I can also create fear, distrust, and a complete inability to even walk into a room without becoming a mess on the floor."

"That's amazing, Deacon? What about you?" I asked looking up at him.

"Mine is a bit less fun, it's why I have lost myself before and you had to save me. My ability is centered around courage, the ability to run into battle and fight against all odds. Someone's ability to be brave, cunning, adaptable and strategic. I am able to influence emotions like hope, anger, but also despair and sadness. When there is no hope for a battle to be won and you have that choice to face it with courage or not." Deacon explained, helping me understand why his personality was so much calmer. When you are prone to traits like that you tend to be more level-headed, so as to not lose yourself on a downward spiral. Roman's abilities fit his personality as well, given to being able to create the most confident person in a room with just a touch his personality was one of carefree fun and easy ability to laugh. I asked them about myself, wanting to know what mine was like.

"You, can balance us both. You create the relationships that the humans need to survive. You influence their need for love and lust, whether someone could be a one night stand or their happily ever after." Deacon explained, never breaking eye contact as he did. "Love, passion, lust, s*x appeal, wanting are all controlled by your influence."

"What about an opposite to mine? Yours all seem to have a positive and a negative." I asked, not able to look away either. Deacon continued to speak in our intimate embrace, telling me that all of what I influenced had one major negative, jealousy. Everything that the humans craved in love and intimacy could be taken away with jealousy. That is what I was able to create, or am able to. I am still waiting to see how that works.

Suddenly, my attention was broken from Deacon and his golden hazel eyes by Roman reentering the room, I had not even realized he had left. As he walked in with a sandwich he looked at us with a smirk, commenting that we had not even noticed him leaving. "That lovey-dovey relationship will be back in no time, you're already starting to look like you used to." He laughed, before continuing on the subject. "So, here's the thing, we can influence people on our own, or together. Imagine influencing someone to yearn for the touch of another person, but stripping them of their confidence. You would create a human lost in their despair, without Deac needing to make it worse. Or imagine giving someone the courage to run into battle, but the hopelessness or failure."

"Or the passion to love someone, and the confidence to approach them." I added. Roman nodded, pointing at me with his hand holding his sandwich while he chewed.

"You were always more of a fan of love than pain, so no surprise that is where you went now. I think we should have a live demonstration, what do you think Deac?" Roman asked, causing me to look between the guys, curious what that meant. Deacon pondered for a moment before adding.

"Let's rest, then tomorrow we can move on to using what you have learned in the human world and if it goes well enough we can show you just what kind of fun we used to have." He explained with a smile. I agreed completely. A chance to leave this place, see people and experience more of who I used to be. All I knew is I wanted to remember; who I was, what I did, but most of all, my relationship with Deacon.