[BTS FF] i work at a convenience store

EP:01 - you would think my life is half decent

I had a flashback again. 

I remember my mom knocking on my door. I let her in and she said she needed to tell me something. We sat on the couch in my tiny living room. 

“We’re moving!” My mom exclaimed. 

“Come again?” I say. 

“Your father and I are moving to Korea!” She said. Her smile almost touched her ears. 

“I’m not going with you guys?” I asked. 

“Well no.” My mom said almost confused on why I had asked such a question. “Who’s going to run the store?” 

I retaliated. “So you’re saying you never once thought it was a good idea to ask your daughter what she thought about this?” 

My mom’s mouth opened and closed for a little while. She knew she messed up. “We just think you’d be more successful here in America. And besides, you live on your own now-“

“I live in this flat above the store-“ I cut in.

“And your father and I are getting old and we want to retire.” My mom cut me off this time. 

“That doesn’t mean s**t. You could have told me earlier what you guys were packing in those bags last month! I kept asking you, ‘hey mom, are we going on vacation? Should I be packing too?!’” I was livid. 

“Honja, you know we love you-“

“If you did then you wouldn’t have surprised me like this. You know I don’t deal with surprises well!” I paused for a second. “And don’t call me that. You know I don’t like that name, either.”

“We just thought you’d be happy for us…” my mom trailed off. I knew she meant well. But I was true with my words: surprises really aren’t my thing. 

I let out a long breath of air. “Okay. I’m sorry I blew up on you. Yes, I am happy for you and dad. I know you’re going to enjoy it.” 

“You think everyone’s going to stare at me?” My mom asked. She’s American. White. Caucasian. My dad is Korean. I’m guessing he just wants to go home. For real. And stay there. 

I almost laughed. “No, mom. There’s travelers and foreign people there all the time. Besides, you have dad with you.” 

“Yeah, that’s true.” She said a little sadly. She looked at me. “You look like him with your hair dyed brown like that.” 

“Mom!” I laughed. I felt my cheeks flushed. “You know dad much rather prefers my hair this color.”

Now my mother laughed while facepalming. “Why would he have a child with an American knowing they might have light brown hair like their mother?” 

My dad. An asshole at heart. Nothing was perfect for him, not even his daughter or America. 

A pause filled my house. Was it a house? It really was just a square above the store. An apartment, really. 

“Well. I guess this is it.” My mom finally said. I looked at her. She seemed really happy. I should be happy too, right? 

“I guess so.” I sighed. “When are you leaving?” 

“Tonight.” My mom answered. “But it’s gonna be an overnight flight.”

“Ah, got you.” I replied. 

Another awkward pause filled the air. 

“We’re gonna miss you.” My mom said. She hugged me and I wrapped my arms around her. She was smaller than me in stature but weighed more. Her blonde curls hung below her shoulders and almost smothered me when I hugged her. I definitely looked more like dad. But she did love me even if she had odd ways of delivering that love.

“I’m going to miss you too mom.” I replied. 

After a while she left and the door locked behind her. I sat on my couch. 

What the hell just happened? 

I felt like I’d just been kicked by a giant. All the breath exited my body. I felt cold and alone. I was basically abandoned. And nobody warned me this was going to happen. They knew I struggled with this kind of thing. They knew I didn’t want the store. 

All I knew was they didn’t want the store.

All I knew was they were sick of me questioning them. 

They were sick of me.

I knew it. 

But I’m supposed to be happy.

Right?