Anywhere But Home

{14} I was scared, I was scared, Tired and under prepared

Christopher Smith

It's two in the morning.

For the past few days, I've been following Chad after school, hoping that I could nail his sorry ass visiting his father, which is crazy because I don't even know if Martinez is here in Miami. I just don't know what else to do. I'm exhausted. I haven't slept decently in two nights and my body is starting to feel the effects of my deprivation of sleep.

When I left New York, I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would never touch this matter and I would forget about this and get my degree done. Tori is right. When I found out about my brother's accident not being an accident, I became obsessed about finding the guy who hired someone to kill my brother. I couldn't concentrate on school, so my grades spill. I started hanging out with other people, to get inside the drug business, because I knew that getting information from the inside was the only way that I could actually have something solid and accurate that could help me achieve my goal. Don't get me wrong, they are my friends and I do like them a lot, despite the fact everything everybody says about them. Still, that gives me no right to discard the people that were always there for me in the past.

I was supposed to focus and get my management degree done within four years and go work side by side with my father. And I was actually achieving that. But having him here every day is a constant reminder, about the things I tried to push behind me.

''Where have you been?'' Brian inquired, coming from his room rubbing his eyes. He was probably sleeping. ''It's two in the freaking morning Chris.'' He barked walking to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, stubbing on a plant that was on his way.

I followed him. ''I went out.'' I simply said walking towards the cabinet to make myself a sandwich since the only thing I ate all afternoon was a bag of chips from the vending machine at our college. ''You want one ?'' I asked turning my gaze at him.

''No. I want you to tell me what the hell have you been doing till this late on school nights.'' He blurted this time sounding a little less sleepy and more pissed.

''I told you. I went out.'' I replied taking a sit on the chair and taking a so wanted bite on my delicious sandwich, that looked so simple, yet so appetizing.

''Three nights in a row? Who the hell do you think you're talking to Christopher ?'' He hissed walking to the other side of the table, fixating his intense gaze on me. That stare doesn't work with me dude.

''So what? Now you are keeping tabs on me?'' I said with my mouth a little full and then continue eating. I'm too starving to talk.

''We live in the same place. You're never home for dinner and you never call to let me know you're gonna be late.'' He mumbled. Why he is acting like a crazy housewife? Jesus.

''Sometimes you are so girly.'' I hissed, rolling my eyes, taking a final bite on the food.

''I'm not girly!'' He gasped throwing me an apple which I caught in time. See? This is what I mean. The guy is offended by my words and throws me apples. Freaking apples. ''I'm just worried that you're doing something stupid.'' He added.

Finishing the sandwich, I got up and put the plate on the sink, to wash it tomorrow. Should I tell him? He won't shut up if I don't. I peeked and saw him, with his arms crossed, leaning on the door frame waiting for an explanation. f**k. ''I've been spying on Chad.'' I finally said turning around, leaning of the counter.

I was expecting more apples to be thrown at me and a speech about how irresponsible I was being, but instead, he just stood still, looking at me with a mix of worry and compression written all over his face.

''Aren't you gonna say that I'm being careless and dumb by chasing him?'' I asked, the disbelief evident in my voice. It's must be sleep. It's affecting his brain.

''Will that make you stop?'' He said sitting on the chair, holding his head, on one hand, looking straight at me.

''No.'' I informed immediately without thinking twice.

''So why am I gonna waste my breath trying to convince the most stubborn person I know ?'' He asked sarcastically trying to keep his cool.

''Good. You're learning.'' I said slightly grinning and walking to the living room, throwing my body to the couch.

Brian followed me and took a seat on the other couch, with his hands crossed waiting for a continuation from my part. I sighed but sat up too. ''What do you wanna know ?'' I asked running a hand through my hair.

''Everything.'' He said not diverting his eyes from me.

I took a deep breath. ''Nathan Davis is in town to make some business with the Sanchez gang, the rival of Martinez.'' Since I could see the confusion on his face, I continued. ''He was the guy who sold us that ecstasy on prom remember?''

''I don't remember s**t about that night. I don't even know who I was even capable of driving.'' He replied leaning back on the couch. ''You still have to explain me, how did I end up making out with Jasmine Stewart.'' He gasped in absolute disgust. Jasmine was probably the most popular girl in our school, which means that she had made out or f****d with probably almost all the guys in there. Except for the both of us. And we intended to keep it like that until Brian somehow ended up with his tongue stuck in her mouth.

''I think the ecstasy hit you harder than what we expected.'' I said trying not to laugh as the images of him dancing and doing a lot of embarrassing things passed through my mind.

''I will never consume that ever again.'' He informed in a matter of statement. And then he cleared his throat. ''But let's just say, that remember vaguely who that guy is. What about him ?''

''Well .. he said he wants to talk to me.'' I answered.

''But why? Have you told Adam and the rest of the guys what happened to your brother and that you have the bible?'' He asked narrowing his eyes.

''No. And I never will.'' I replied firmly. No chance in hell I'm getting more people dragged to my personal dramas.

''So ... He wants to talk to you about what exactly?''

''I don't know .. And I find this really weird. Besides Chad and José the only people that know that I have the bible are you and Tori and now Emily.'' I stop when I said her name. Emily .. I dragged her to this too.

''But this can maybe be the break I was needing right now. Like, come on. What better than the enemies of Martinez to help me out on this ?'' I asked more to myself than to Brian, as I got up from the couch and started passing around.

''I doubt those people know the meaning of helping other people.'' Brian mumbled cutting all my joy out.

''Not all the gangs are bad.'' I protested back.

''If they are called gangs, they must be doing something wrong, really bad and illegal.'' He added, killing even more my vibe.

''Listen.'' I walked closer to him.''I spent four f*****g years searching for a needle in a haystack and right now I finally found one. I have somewhere to start. And right now you want me to just ignore it?'' I continued in a cold tone clenching my teeth.

''No. But you know, if you get mixed up with them things will get a lot harder than they are now. And you have to stop and think for a freaking second that you are now the only person that is involved in this. Tori and now Emily can both end up pretty bad. And when I mean bad, I mean dead.'' He replied pushing me back, making me fall on the couch.''I wouldn't forgive you if anything happened to Tori.'' He added.

''And you think I would?'' I hissed back. I'm not as cold-hearted as everybody thinks I am.'' I'm not an asshole.''

''Then stop acting like one.''

''Oh f**k you Brian.'' I mumbled. ''When did you had to sacrifice anything in your perfect little life ?'' I asked getting up from the couch and walking to my bedroom door. I'm tired and I don't want to say anything that I would regret later.

''I'll go to that meeting and I will listen to what he was to say.'' I continued pushing the door handle.''You know I would never do anything without telling you. And I would never put the life of you guys in dangerous. You know me better than that man.'' I sighed.''Just go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow.'' I added entering my room and closing the door behind me.

 What a freaking day.