Anywhere But Home

{1} It's haunting, how I can't seem to find myself again

Emily Roberts

''These eggs are tasteless!'' Jim mumbled tossing the plate to the ground. I stopped calling him dad. That word doesn't feel right anymore. ''Two years have passed and you still don't know how to cook a simple thing such as eggs.'' He growled standing up and grabbing an apple from the basket on the other side of the table. ''Just as useless as your mother.'' He coldly stated leaving the kitchen.

After two years, I still don't know how his personality changed this much. He wasn't like this. He was a loving father and supported me with everything.  After my grandfather passed away, he spent more time at work, but I honestly thought that it was his way of coping and mourning. Never imagined a thing like this was going to happen. And what hurts me the most is knowing he doesn't have any remorse for what he did.

The summer is almost over and I really need to go to the library to check my email. I sent an application letter to the private Miami University, located at Coral Gables. They have a half scholarship that I managed to apply to. Of course, I didn't tell anyone about this, especially not to Jim. He would beat the hell out of me if I even consider that possibility for one minute. It was a miracle he even let me finish high school. I did my junior and senior year in an online school and I ended up with really good grades, which allowed me to apply for a half scholarship, which will pay my tuition. He had my laptop lock up in a safe and only let me use it for school stuff and since I finished school, I doubt I would see that laptop ever again.

But I don't care. I'm 18 now. He can't keep me here anymore.

Over these two years, I've been stealing some money from him. Not too much, because I didn't want him to get suspicious, but enough to buy me a plane ticket with a fake ID to Miami and some money to get me by for a few weeks. Even if I don't get in, I just can't stay here any longer. I've been planning this since the last time I tried to run away. This time, everything will be okay. I will be okay.

Coming back from my thoughts, I knelt down and wiped out the pieces of the plate from the ground with a broom, putting it on the trash. Then I washed the rest of the dishes, dried them of and placed them inside the shelves. Jim was in the living room watching the news. Some things never change. ''I need to go to the bakery and buy some bread for tomorrow.'' I said approaching the couch where he was sitting but also keeping a certain distance.

Without even bothering to look at me he said... ''There aren't any leftovers?''

''No.'' I informed keeping my head down. ''You ate all of them this morning.'' Oh no. What did I just say?

''What do you mean by that ?'' He inquired slightly irritated. ''Are you saying that I eat too much?'' He raised his voice which made me take I step back. It scares me the hell up when he talks like this.

''No n-o.'' I stammered swallowing the knot that was forming in my throat. ''I know you like fresh bread. I can gladly go and buy some for you for tomorrow.'' I said hoping to enlighten his mood.

''Go. You have one hour.'' He informed. ''Don't make me wait.'' Then his gaze was back to the television. Thank god.

I went to my room and changed my clothes. Once a month, Jim gives me fifty dollars to buy new clothes. Some of that money I also saved for when I needed it the most. It will come in handy now. I swapped into more comfortable clothing and grabbed some money from the counter in the hallway.

We live near the town. My da-, Jim says that he prefers to live near the cops because if they're on to him, he can easily escape. It's twisted, I know. Financially, he is always present. I always had what I needed. In terms of the beaten, the never beat me in any visible area. Probably because he needed me to go and get the groceries done.

After a five minutes walk, I stepped inside the bakery shop. It's my favorite place in town. I always loved to eat and there are so many cakes in here that I could literally die of a sugar overdose just by looking at the showcase.

''Megan, my dear!'' Mrs.Jones greeted me with her usual warming smile. ''How are you doing? I haven't seen you in a week!'' She said stepping away from behind the counter into my direction.

''I'm fine Mrs.Jones!'' I replied smiling lying with all my teeth. ''I've been really busy.'' I stated. Busy getting beat up.

She nodded, believe in my excuse. ''You want the usual?'' She asked returning to her spot behind the counter.

''Yes.'' I replied with a genuine smile.

''Two cereals breads and four barley ones.'' We both say at the same time, which made us giggled. This lady is probably the only person in this town that I really talk to. Like a real conversation. Definitely going to miss her when I'm gone.

''Thank you so much.'' I thanked her, grabbing the bag with the breads in it and handed her the money. ''Have a nice day.'' I said before leaving the store.

Okay, now it's time to go to the library. I raised my arm and looked at my watch. I still have forty minutes. It's plenty enough time to get there. I find it really odd that he gave me an hour to go to the bakery, but I'm not complaining.

After a five minutes walk, I arrived at the library, but I better hurry up because it's almost closing time.

''Hey Anna!'' I waved at the librarian. She looked at me. ''I'm just going to use the computer for one minute! I promise it won't take long!'' I reassured her speeding up my passed. She nodded.

I tossed my purse to the ground and logged in. Okay, this is it. The moment you been waiting for over two years. I crossed my fingers in front of my mouth. It's here.. Let's see..

'' Miss.Emily Roberts,

We are really proud to inform you that you have been accepted in Miami University on your first option, Medicine.

In regard of the dormitory situation that you asked about on your application, we already have one reserved for you.

Without further ado,

The administration of Miami University.''

''Yes!'' I screamed in absolute joy! I'm going to college! I jumped from the chair with all the excitement that was building inside of me. I can't believe this! I'm out of that house today. Last month Jim asked me to do some shopping by myself, which was pretty rare and in five minutes I had left before going home I went to the library to make a requisition of a book to read and took the chance and booked a flight to Miami. Even if I didn't get in, Miami was always a place I wanted to visit and it looks like a good place to start over. The cheapest flight makes a stop in Dallas before going to Miami. It's not a direct flight, but it's the best I could because I want to waste the less possible money I have, until I find a job.

I picked my purse from the ground and the bag with the bread and started walking home. I waved goodbye to Anna before exiting the building.

My walk home was quicker than usual. I normally take ten minutes to get home from the library, but today I took five. I can't stop smiling. I knew I had a good chance of getting in, but still.. The joy I'm feeling in unimaginable! But I better find a way to hide my happiness, or else he will find out and can't take any risks. Not today.

I walked to my front porch and open the door. He was still on the couch but this time he was sleeping. It's already nine o'clock and my flight is at two in the morning. So I have to be there by one. I'm not even going to bother to sleep.

I tried to make the less possible noise as I walked into my room, locking then the door behind me. I have to count how much money I have.

I sat in my bed. 20,120...1662 dollars. Okay, this is not bad. I'm going to need 325 for my flight, so I stay with 1337 dollars. I need a job when I get to Miami. I placed the money inside my purse and placed it on my bed.

After collecting my belongings, I took a look at the time. It's already eleven but it's too earlier to go. I don't want to give him the possibility of even chasing me. I have a bus at 00.45 and that it's enough time to get there.

***

After what it seemed like forever, the time came. I slowly unlocked the door for my room and stepped out of it as quietly as I could. With the tips of my toes, I walked downstairs. Even if he is sleeping there I can't back down now. But it looks like the Gods are one my side today because he is not there. I grabbed my keys and placed then on the counter after opening the door. I don't want any reminder of this life. Megan James is dead.

I had to wait a couple of minutes at the bus stop and that was getting me extra nervous. But then, from afar I saw the bus number appearing and I closed my eyes, sighing from relief.

***

It's already 00.45 am and I'm on the bus. I did it. The first part is complete. But I can't celebrate right just now, I have to be in that plane to sing victory, which is the worst part.

The bus ride was really short because I live really close to the airport. It's been a long time since I've been in an airport and I have forgotten how much I've missed the smell. I love planes and traveling.

''Attention. Last call to San Francisco-Miami. Please direct to gate four. Thank you.'' A voice on the speaker informed bringing me back from my thoughts.

''It's my flight.'' I acknowledge to myself.

I didn't really know where the gate four was, but I managed to find it. There was a lady wearing a blue uniform that gave me a really nice smile from behind the counter. ''Good morning Miss!'' She greeted me with a huge grin on her lips. Must love working here. I know I would.

''Good morning.'' I replied placing my bag on the treadmill. ''It's one ticket to Miami please.'' I asked taking out my form from my purse so she could see the reservation.

''Very well.'' She said typing really fast on the computer. ''Round trip?'' She asked still looking into the computer.

''No. Just going.'' I corrected her right away. No way in hell I will ever be back to this city.

She then looked to me and smiled. ''Exploring the horizons?''

''Something like that.'' I replied smiling back at her.

She nodded. ''I'm going to need to see your ID please.'' She asked still typing on the keyboard. I quickly opened my purse and took from there my fake ID. It took me almost a hundred dollars to get a good one. But I have to say, I'm really nervous. If she sees that it's fake, I'm going to jail. That's the last thing I want right now.

To get my fake Social Security Number and driver's license, I had to resort to some methods that I'm not very proud of. This wasn't exactly a thing I could achieve overnight and I had to be careful to not get caught.

In San Francisco and all over the country and around the world as we know, there are a lot of homeless people desperate for money. Some of them want the cash to buy drugs or alcohol, others want money to actually have a good meal.

I admit ... I took advantage of that.

I bought from the street a birth certificate from a homeless girl, rough fully around my age. She told me she wanted the money to buy food for her brothers, so instead of giving the money to a homeless person that would probably waste it on something that would get them killed, I trusted her and bought her birth certificate paying a reasonable price for it.

That was the easy part.

The tough one was convincing the SS that I had lost all my personal documents. It took me a month until the finally dispatched my case. Since I was eighteen at the time, I didn't need my parents' permission and I could arrange that all by myself, whenever I knew that Jim would be late. It was hard, but since the BC didn't have any photo, my lie was very doable.

She must have sensed my handshaking because she asked. ''Why are you so nervous?'' She inquired giggling narrowing her eyes. Oh no.

''I'm scared of flying.'' I replied trying to cover as much as possible my own insecurities.

''You will be fine honey.'' She reassured winking an eye at me. Let's hope so. ''So here you go.'' She said handing me a plane ticket. I did it again! ''Your seat it's 24-A. It's near the window.'' Yes, I love going near the window. ''Have a good flight.'' She said lowering her head and I did the same.

I passed the gates and got into the plane. I can't believe this actually worked. I can't believe I made it. Starting from tomorrow, I'm a new person.

I'm Emily Roberts.