The Affair

Life Changes

She stood just outside his door…gathering all the strength she possessed…knowing she had to be strong for him…for both of them…for John and their baby. Marlena opened the door and slipped inside his room. She could hear the hiss of the machines clear across the room. For a moment, her knees almost buckled but at the last second she regained her composure. She could not give into fear…she could not let him think she was afraid…her strength would be his strength. Quietly she walked over and sat in the chair next to his bed. She took his hand into hers and slowly brought it to her lips…placing a gentle kiss on the back of his hand. “John…it’s Marlena. Honey, can you open your eyes for me?” She had no doubt he could hear her…or at least sense her presence.

A voice in the distance was calling to him…again. He could hear his name…it was her…it was Marlena.

“John, listen to my voice…I know you can hear me. Please open your eyes.”

He wanted so badly to open his eyes for her…but he couldn’t. He didn’t understand why. It was a simple request…but for some reason he couldn’t. What was wrong with him?

After a few minutes of silence, watching for some indication he was responding to her voice, she continued, “its okay baby. I know you’re trying…I know you can hear me.” She didn’t have much time left.

Doc…I’m so tired.

She leaned in closer to him, “John I know you’re tired…I know you just want to sleep but you have to wake up…Boaty needs you…I need you…you have to come back to us.”

I’m sorry Doc…I can’t…not now. Her voice was fading away…the darkness was coming once more…he was too weak to fight it.

“You can’t leave us…you have to fight to come back to us. Boaty needs his daddy…and I need you. I can’t do this alone.” Tears began to roll down her face…it was so hard…so hard to see him laying there…hooked up to machines and tubes. Her time was almost up…it was now or never. She whispered in his ear, “John…there’s something I have to tell you…you have to come back to me…to us…to our baby. We’re going to have a baby…you and me…together. I need you…we need you. Please baby fight for us.”

Just as he was sinking back into the abyss…he heard her. A baby…she was having his baby…the welcoming darkness was no longer an option…he had to be there for her…for his baby…for Boaty…for all of them.

She kissed his cheek softly. “I love you,” she whispered. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Marlena slowly made her way to the door.

His eyes fluttered open for just a second. She was already gone.

*********************************

Marlena sat on the couch in the ICU waiting area. Laura was no where in sight. And truth be known…she was glad to have a little time to herself. It had been harder than she thought…seeing him there…so helpless. He hadn’t responded to her voice but deep down inside…she knew he heard her…and now he would fight to come back to them. She closed her eyes…taking a moment to finally relax. She’d been on an emotional rollercoaster since last night…and it didn’t look like things were going to calm down any time soon. In a matter of hours her world was turned completely upside down. Someone saw her and John at the ball…she was pregnant…Roman had been shot and John was in a coma.

It was finally beginning to sink in…her life would never be the same again…and as happy as she was about the baby…she was also a little afraid. Afraid her children would never forgive her for betraying their father. She knew they still loved John…but she worried how they would react once they were told the truth…she was having John’s baby. And Roman…he would be devastated once he learned the truth. She was having another man’s baby…and not just any man…it was John. Marlena knew it had taken Roman a long time to overcome his feelings of jealously about her and John and sometimes she wasn’t sure if he really had forgiven her for falling in love with John. Once he came back…and the DNA tests proved he was Roman…they just fell back into the routine they had before Stefano took him away. For a while it worked…everyone seemed to be moving on with their lives…but it was only a façade…she knew that now. If she hadn’t been so full of guilt…guilt because of what Roman had lived through…guilt because she moved on with John…guilt because she believed John was Roman…guilt because she loved John even though Roman was back. They should have been honest with one another…but instead they said nothing…it would have been difficult…but now it was so much harder. Could they have done it differently?

She was so confused. Her thoughts and emotions were all over the place. One random thought and then off to the next one…one moment of joy and then a moment of despair. Everything was so complicated…everything was simple. It was too much. She buried her face in her hands and began to quietly sob.

It wasn’t until she felt someone nudge her on her shoulder that she realized she was crying. Marlena looked up expecting to see Laura but instead saw Victor standing in front of her…handkerchief in hand. He sat down beside her and put his arms around her.

“It’s okay Marlena…he’ll pull through.”

“I know,” she said between sobs, “it’s just so hard.” She took his handkerchief and wiped the tears from her face.

“John is a fighter…he’ll never give up. Besides, he has so much to live for.”

“I know…Boaty.” She looked around. “Where is he?”

“I left him with the nanny. Children aren’t allowed on this floor.”

“Victor…you’re on the Board…I’m sure they would have made an exception.”

“The truth is…I didn’t want Boaty to see his dad like that.” He was silent for a moment…choosing his next words carefully. “Marlena…I wasn’t just talking about Boaty…I also meant you.”

She looked at him in surprise but remained silent.

“Marlena, John is like a son to me. I know how much you mean to him…how much he means to you.”

He knew…there wasn’t a doubt in her mind. But how…was he the one last night…no Victor wasn’t at the Ball. Maybe whoever saw them last night also told Victor. She couldn’t think about that now…she had to focus on John. In a few months…everyone would know.

Victor could tell by the expression on her face, she was afraid…afraid of what he might do or say. That was the last thing he wanted. He loved John and if Marlena made him happy than he was happy for him… for them. “Marlena…I didn’t mean to upset you…I just meant that I’m glad you’re here for him.” He could see her visibly relax.

“I’ll always be here for John.” Without actually saying the words…everything was out in the open. They both knew the truth.

Victor reached over and took Marlena’s hand. They sat together…quietly…holding hands…each one praying for the person they loved.

*************************************

She flashed her ID and waited for Dr. Singer. No one would give her any new information on John’s condition. She didn’t have time to waste…she’d find out on her own…Rebecca headed to ICU.

As soon as she stepped off the elevator she spotted Marlena sitting with Victor. If anyone knew John’s condition…it would be Marlena. She headed in their direction.

“What happened?” Her question was directed to Marlena. Marlena didn’t answer…in fact she wasn’t even sure she heard her. She asked again, “Marlena tell me…what happened?”

Victor knew Marlena was close to her breaking point. In all the time they had been sitting together…Marlena hadn’t said a word. She simply held on to his hand…as if he was a life preserver and she was drowning. He did the only thing he could…he answered for her. “John’s in a coma…that’s all we know.” He stood and pulled her off to the side…away from Marlena.

Rebecca stood there…in shock….she didn’t know what to say. Finally her DA instincts kicked in and she began firing off questions. “How did this happen? What was he doing there?”

Before she could continue, Victor intervened, “Ms. Morrison…the only thing we know is what I’ve already told you…he’s in a coma. As for any other questions…John is the only one with the answers…so you along with everyone else will have to wait until he wakes up.”

Laura approached them just in time to hear the verbal exchange between Victor and Rebecca. She glanced in Marlena’s direction…she was just sitting there…not saying a word. She should have never left…she should have waited until Marlena came back…but she didn’t think it would take as long as it did.

Marlena looked up as Laura stood in front of her. Her eyes were brimming with tears…her voice barely a whisper, “I can’t handle this…not now.”

“Let’s go.”

“I’m ready…but first I need to say goodbye to Victor.” Marlena walked over to Victor. “I need to get home…but I’ll be back.” She pulled him to her and hugged him as tightly as she could. “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear.

“Remember what I said…he’s a fighter.”

*************************************

Neither one spoke another word until they were in Laura’s car.

“Marlena, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you…but I was …” she never got to finish her sentence.

“Laura you’ve been here for me more times than I can count. It’s alright. Besides, I needed a little time by myself…to take it all in.”

“A lot has happened…you have a lot to deal with right now…which brings me to the reason I was gone when you came out of John’s room.”

“Laura, I told you…I’m fine…I’m not the one you should be worried about.”

It was clear Marlena needed to talk about John. Her reason for leaving her alone could wait a little while longer. “So, any change in his condition?”

Marlena shook her head and said, “No…no change…at least no physical change.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t really explain it…but I know he heard me. I could feel his presence in the room. I told him about the baby.”

“Then he’ll be back to you soon. He’ll never give up.”

“That’s the same thing Victor said.”

“Victor?”

“He walked up while I sitting there and believe it or not…he really helped me. He knows.”

She turned and gave Marlena a quick glance. “Knows what?”

“He knows about John…about us…not about the baby.”

“What makes you say that? Did he say something to you?”

“Not in so many words… but I know he knows.”

“And…is he okay with you and John? I mean with you two being together. Isabella was his daughter.”

“I know he loves John like a son and wants John to be happy…so to answer your question…he’s okay with us.”

They drove the rest of the way in silence. A few minutes later, Laura pulled into Marlena’s driveway. The house looked empty. Roman wasn’t home yet and apparently the children were still with the Boaty’s.

Laura knew Roman and the kids would be walking in the door soon and she needed to make sure Marlena was ready for them…besides she had something she had to tell her. They sat next to one another on the couch.

“Can I fix you a cup of tea?” asked Laura.

“I should be the one offering you something.”

“You’ve had quite a busy day…why don’t you to upstairs and I’ll bring the tea up to you.”

“That’s okay…I can do it.”

Before she could stand, Laura grabbed her arm. “Listen to me…it’s been a trying day…a lot of things have happened in the last few hours. You have to take care of yourself.” Even though they were the only two people in the house she lowered her voice, “It’s not just you…you have to think about the baby…what’s good for the baby. You need to rest.”

Marlena leaned back into the couch. “I know you’re right…but…”

“But nothing…go upstairs and I’ll be there in a minute.”

Marlena knew Laura was right. She had to take care of herself. It was no longer just her…she had to think about the baby…the baby came first. Baby…she still couldn’t believe she was pregnant. How far along? When was the baby conceived? So many questions…but so few answers. She made her way upstairs and got into bed…fully clothed…too tired to undress.

A few minutes later, Laura entered her bedroom holding a tray with a cup of tea and a few slices of toast.

Marlena knew better than to argue with her. She accepted both the tea and toast. Besides the few sips of tea she had at the diner…the toast was the first thing she had eaten all day. Laura was right…she would have to take better care of herself.

Laura sat on the bed and watched Marlena as she drank her tea. She waited until she was just about finished before she began. “Listen, I have to tell you something.”

“Okay,” she said as she took her last bite of toast. “Tell me.”

“While you were visiting with John I went to my office and made a call to Dr. Bader.” She hurried to continue, “I called her at home, explained the situation…at least part of the situation…and asked her if she would slip you in sometime on Monday…nothing official…just to make sure everything is fine. She’ll call you Monday morning and give you the time…and you know…whatever you tell her will be held in confidence.”

Marlena didn’t know what to say. Once again her friend had come to her rescue. “I keep thanking you over and over. Sometimes it feels like this is a one-way friendship. Just once I would love to be able to do something for you.”

“You know that’s not true. You were there for me plenty of times. Besides…this is what we do…we take care of one another.” She kissed her on the cheek. “Now why don’t you get a little rest before Roman and the kids return.” She didn’t give Marlena a chance to argue, “You know you need the rest…close your eyes.” Laura picked up the tray and walked to the door. Just before she left the room she turned and said, “It’s all going to work out. I promise.” With that she closed the door and walked downstairs.

While she was washing the dishes, she heard the front door open.

“Doc,” Roman called out. “Where are you? Why is Laura’s car in the driveway?” He was surprised when it was Laura who walked out of the kitchen instead of Marlena.

“Roman…shh…lower you voice. Marlena is upstairs taking a nap.”

“Is she alright…I thought Mike said she was fine.”

“She’s fine…it’s just been a long day…you of all people should know that. Her car is at the diner. I didn’t think she should be behind the wheel…so I drove. You can pick it up later.”

“Whew…for a minute I thought something else had gone wrong.” He plopped down on the couch. “Any change in John’s condition?”

“No…we stopped by his room before we left…no change…he’s still in a coma.”

“Laura, is she really alright? I mean…you know her…I don’t mean just physically…I mean emotionally. Is she handling all of this?”

She could hear the love and concern in his voice. Roman really loved Marlena…and in her own way she loved him. So many lives would be forever changed. It was too bad he would be hurt the most when the truth was finally told. Depending on her due date…Marlena wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy much longer. “She’s doing the best she can…considering the circumstances. I think she needs to rest a little while longer.” Laura looked around and finally realized the children weren’t with Roman. “Where are the twins…Carrie?”

“They’re still with mom and pop. I think they should spend the night…in fact there’s something I need to tell Marlena and I need your advice.

A half an hour later Laura sat in her car alone….thinking about everything she knew…including Roman’s news. She honestly didn’t know how much more bad news Marlena could handle…especially now.

*********************************

He must have fallen asleep on the couch. When he opened his eyes Marlena was standing over him.

“Roman, where are the kids?”

“Doc, sit down.” He moved over so she could sit next to him. “We need to talk.”

*********************************

Marlena sat at her desk in her office staring off into space. A few days had passed since everything had gone horribly wrong…well not everything…their baby had been her only salvation. Baby…every time she thought about the baby her hands automatically drifted and finally settled on her stomach. Their baby was the only thing that kept Marlena from losing her sanity.

She remembered everything about that day so clearly. The day began with her and John making love in his apartment and ended with him in the hospital…in a coma. What should have been one of happiest days of her life…finding out she was pregnant…turned out to be a day she almost lost the love of her life. She remembered finding Roman sleeping on the couch, waking and saying those awful words to her: ‘we need to talk.’ For a moment she thought her world had ended…she thought he had news about John. But then she realized it couldn’t be about John…if anything had happened to him…she would know…she would feel it. Marlena sat next to Roman and listened as told her everything he knew.

Roman, Abe and Bo had come to the conclusion Marlena already knew to be true…it had been a setup from the beginning. They didn’t know how John figured into the equation and they wouldn’t know until he came out of the coma but for now he would be under police protection. A guard would be stationed outside his room at all times. It was the next bit of information that took her by surprise. Because they didn’t know who was after them or why…they thought it would be better if the she and the twins went to visit her parents in Colorado and Carrie went to stay with Anna. That could only mean one thing…they thought Roman was also a target. She remembered standing up and walking away from Roman. Absolutely not was her response. Her children yes…but she wasn’t going anywhere. Roman spent the remainder of the evening trying to convince her but she wouldn’t hear of it. She wasn’t leaving…that was that…end of discussion. In the end…he gave in…he had no choice. He knew it had been a long shot from the beginning but he still had to try.

And so by the next evening…the twins were off to Colorado. Her parents were able to pull a few strings and the twins would finish out the school year in Colorado. Carrie would finish her school year with Anna. She hated her children would be so far away and separated…but it couldn’t be helped. If anything happened to them because they stayed in Salem she would never forgive herself.

After spending most of the Sunday, packing for the children and getting them to the airport she managed to find a little time to slip away to the hospital and visit John. There had been no change in his condition.

The following Monday, Dr. Bader had been true to her word. She examined Marlena during her lunch hour. Because the health of her baby was the most important thing to her, Marlena told Dr. Bader everything…John, not Roman, was the baby’s father and as much of his medical history she remembered. When she was finished, Marlena sighed in relief. It was one less person she had to lie to day after day.

Finally Dr. Bader spoke, “Well it’s no wonder your pressure is a little high. Nothing to be concerned about yet…but I’ll have to monitor you frequently.”

“I figured as much.”

“Marlena I’m not trying to tell you how to run your life but…”

“But what…I should tell everyone the truth…I can’t do that right now.” She didn’t mean to snap at Dr. Bader.

“No, that’s not it…you know as well as I do…stress is not good for the baby. As impossible as it seems right now…you’re going to have to find a way to relieve the amount of stress in your life.”

“I’m open for suggestions”, she said half jokingly.

“Actually, I have a suggestion…it might help a little. You need to cut back at work. With all you have going on in your life right now, I’m sure everyone will understand if you cut back on the amount of hours you work.”

“That might work…at least for a little while.” She stood up…ready to leave. “Will you call me and let me know how far along I am? I was never regular to begin with and with everything going on I’m not quite sure.”

“As soon as I know for sure…but from everything you’ve said…it sounds like you’re probably between eight and ten weeks pregnant.”

“Good…I still have a little time before I begin to show.”

“Marlena…you know I won’t say a word to anyone…but the sooner this secret is out in the open the better it’ll be for you and the baby.”

“I know. Thanks Karen for all your help.”

“Your welcome…try to relax. But before you go,” she handed Marlena a prescription, “pre-natal vitamins. You need to start taking them as soon as possible.”

“I will.”

“Call me if you have any problems…day or night.”

Marlena closed the door and walked back to her office. The circle of people who knew the truth was becoming larger and larger. The truth would have to come out soon…but not without John awake and by her side.

Diane wasn’t back from lunch yet…Diane…Marlena would have to tell her she was cutting back on her work day…so she could schedule appointments accordingly. And even though she wouldn’t be in her office all day…there was still plenty of work for Diane.

For the rest of the day, Marlena cleared off her desk. Every few hours she would stop in John’s room to sit with him for a while. He was no longer in ICU but in a private room. Her day at the hospital ended the same way it began, sitting in John’s room…telling him all about her day. By the time she made it home she was exhausted. Dr. Bader’s advice to cut back at work couldn’t have come at a better time. She was asleep by the time Roman walked in the door.