The Affair

Reckoning

He sat back in his chair, “Well done Marlena; well done.” He had never seen John so affected by anyone, whether male or female, before in his life. When the time came she would be his ace in the hole.

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Marlena drove home as fast as she could. She needed to get home before Roman saw her. As she turned onto her block, she breathed a sigh of relief. No one was home yet. Marlena pulled into the driveway and rushed into the house. She flew up the stairs and into her bedroom. As she grabbed her robe from her bed, she undressed and threw the clothes she was wearing into the back of her closet. She would have to get rid of them later. Marlena walked into her bathroom, locked her door and drew her bath water. She added mineral salts and bubbles to help with the soreness and the bruises. Slowly she eased her way into the tub. If she was lucky, she would be able to soak for at least a half an hour before anyone came home. She leaned back, closed her eyes and replayed everything that happened to her John’s loft. He hadn’t given her a chance to explain anything…he didn’t want to listen. She understood he was hurt but the level of his anger had surprised her. But as angry as he was…as cold as he was to her…she was never afraid for her life.

Marlena finished soaking and slipped on her pajamas. If Roman saw her naked, there wasn’t any plausible explanation she could give him for the bruises on her body. She grabbed her robe and headed downstairs to wait for Roman and the kids. It wouldn’t be much longer. While waiting, she called her secretary Diane. She hated to call her at home but tomorrow she was taking the day off. She earned it. Diane would have to reschedule her appointments.

Finally she heard Roman’s car pull into the driveway. In less than five minutes the front door opened and Eric, Sami and Carrie barged in with Roman was right behind them. She was so happy to see them. They were the light of her life. All three walked over and kissed her cheek. Eric, the one most like her, noticed she was already dressed for bed.

“What’s the matter mom? Are you sick?”

She ran her fingers thru his hair, “No sweetie, I’m just tired.” As she looked up she saw Roman glaring at her. She nodded her head letting him know this was not the time or the place for any type of discussion.

He took his cue from her, “Ok kids, let’s start with the baths. Tomorrow’s a school day.”

All three looked at him in surprise. It was still kind of early. Carrie spoke up first, “Can’t we watch a little TV first. We already did our homework and it’s still a little early.”

Before Roman could answer, Marlena spoke up, “As long as your homework is already done, and by that I mean all of your homework.” She looked directly at Eric as she continued, “This includes any studying you have to do.”

“Aw mom, that’s not fair. Studying is not homework.” He tried this approach all the time and so far it had never worked.

Roman jumped in, “You know the rules. Now upstairs and study.”

Carrie and Sami went to their room to watch TV while Eric went to his to study.

Once the children were out of earshot, Marlena spoke, “Roman, we’ll talk about this upstairs in our room.”

“You’re damn right we will.”

“Lower your voice, I don’t want to upset the children.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.”

“Then don’t act like one.” After the evening she had, she wasn’t in the mood to placate his ego. She walked upstairs into their room leaving him alone downstairs.

An hour later, she heard him coming up the stairs. He entered their bedroom. By the look of him he was still steaming. She never noticed the large envelope he was holding in his arm. “I’ll be right back. I’m going check on the children.” Marlena left and went into the girls’ room. They were still watching TV. “Ok, it’s time for baths and bed. Your dad is right. Tomorrow is a school night.” Carrie picked up her pajamas and headed straight into the bathroom. The girls were easy…when it came to taking a bath, Eric was a typical boy. If you didn’t make him take one, he wouldn’t take one. As she was leaving, she said, “I’ll be back in a little while to kiss you goodnight.” She closed the door behind her and headed into Eric’s room. His door was closed but she could hear the television. The minute he heard the door open, he turned around. “I finished studying.”

“Ok, but now it’s time to take a bath and go to sleep.”

“But I hardly got to watch anything.”

“I’m sorry about that honey, but you know the rules and right now it’s time for bed. Now go take a bath and get ready for bed. I’ll be back in a little while to kiss you goodnight.”

He wanted to watch a little longer, but he knew it was useless to try. “Ok, mom.”

Marlena smiled as she left the room. She knew one day he would tell her he was too old for her to kiss him goodnight but so far that day hadn’t come and she hoped it never would.

She headed back to her room…into the firestorm. Marlena closed the bedroom door behind her. She didn’t want the kids to overhear them. Roman was still dressed, sitting on the edge of their bed; the envelope next to him. Now what, she thought. Marlena hadn’t made it to the bed before he started in on her.

“Why does it seem like you never want to do anything with me?”

“Roman, I’m not the one who started this. All I did was call you and ask you to pick up the kids from your parents because I was running a little late. You’re the one who turned a simple request into something larger than it was necessary.”

“All I wanted to do was open a bottle of wine and talk…that’s it. But you couldn’t give me an answer.”

“That’s not true. If all you wanted to do was talk, then what’s this?” She pointed to the envelope on the bed.

Roman picked it up and handed it to her. “See for yourself. It came right after you called.”

Marlena opened it and pulled out a video tape. “What’s this?”

“It’s a copy of our renewal ceremony. I told you a friend of mine videotaped the ceremony for us. When you called, I didn’t have it yet…all I wanted to do was talk but for some reason you’re not interested in talking. Why is that?”

“No you want to dictate when and where we talk. You get to decide everything and I’m tired of it.”

“Well at least I’m trying.”

“I know you are.” She sat next to him on the bed. “But you can’t force things Roman. When I said let’s see what happens, you wouldn’t let it go.”

“That’s because we need to talk…we need to clear the air.”

“This is exactly what I mean…you still don’t get it. You still want to talk even when I ask you to back off.” Marlena stood up and walked to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I told the kids I would be back to kiss them goodnight and that’s what I’m going to do. When I come back, I’m going to sleep. It’s been a long day and I’m tired.” Marlena walked out of the room leaving Roman alone once again. She hoped he would be in the shower by the time she came back. He was. She crawled into bed and pretended to be asleep when he slipped in the bed next to her.

Marlena lay awake for a long time after Roman fell asleep. Could it get any worse? John didn’t want to talk and that’s all Roman wanted to do. Her life would be so much easier if she loved Roman instead of John…but she didn’t. But was love enough? Until today she thought it was but now she wasn’t so sure. He hurt her…they hurt each other and now she wasn’t sure if they could get past this. One thing she knew for sure…he would have to come to her if he wanted to talk. She was done…enough was enough. And if he didn’t…well she would cross that bridge when it was time. As for Roman, no matter what happened with John, it was over with him. She couldn’t make him happy and he deserved to be happy. Marlena finally closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

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The next morning, Marlena was so sore she could hardly move. Somehow she was able to get the children up and ready to leave with Roman. She pretended she had a late morning instead of the day off. If Roman knew she was staying home, he would want to stay and talk and that’s the last thing she wanted. She just wanted to rest. She was tired of talking.

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Laura was worried. She hadn’t heard from Marlena since she talked to her yesterday…before she went to see John. As she stepped off the elevator she headed straight for Marlena’s office. To her surprise, Diane told her Marlena had taken the day off. Now she was really worried. That wasn’t like her at all. She headed back to her office and picked up the phone. On second thought, she’d stop by her house and check on her in person. After checking her schedule she realized the only time she had available was lunch. It would have to do.

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John spent a restless night on the couch. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Marlena. He saw the hurt, the betrayal and the anger in her eyes. Her voice rang in his ears. He heard the pleading, the anger and the defiance in her voice. He was exhausted. Maybe a hot shower would help to revive him. The shower…he saw her standing naked in his shower…the way her hands moved over her body. Damn her…it would have to be a cold shower.

After a ten minute ice cold shower he was dressed and ready for work. As he walked down he made a mental note to call someone and have them come by and clean the place. Victor would keep Boaty until the loft was spotless. Grabbing his keys, John headed out the door.

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After dropping the kids off at school Roman spent the morning going over reports. He was in a foul mood and everyone knew it. Finally he had a few minutes to himself. What was going on with Marlena? Sometimes when he looked at her he got the feeling he was looking at a complete stranger…someone he didn’t even know. He thought after last week, things would get better but they seemed to be getting worse. Maybe she was right. Maybe he was pushing too hard. But that was years of being a cop. Even the years Stefano held him prisoner, he kept pushing…kept trying to escape. That’s all he knew how to do. He didn’t know how to back off. You didn’t back off when you were a cop. Backing off could cost you your life. He needed to remember at home he was a husband and a father first. Starting today he would make that extra effort.

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After checking in at the office Marlena spent a leisurely morning reading the paper and drinking a cup of tea…not that there was a whole lot she could do. She was too sore to do much of anything. She tried not to think about John or Roman. Today was for her. She was relaxing on the couch when the doorbell rang. No one but her secretary knew she was home, so she was inclined to ignore it when she heard knocking on the door and her name being called. It was Laura.

“Marlena, it’s me, Laura, open up.”

“Hold on, I’m coming.” Marlena made it to the door as quickly as she could…which wasn’t that quick at all. She opened the door and Laura walked in.

She hugged her friend and failed to notice the grimace of pain on Marlena’s face. “Are you alright?”

Pulling back Marlena answered, “Yea, I’m just tired. What are you doing here?”

“Checking on you; what else?”

“Well I’m fine…just a little tired.” Marlena walked behind Laura as they headed toward the couch. So far, Laura hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary.

As they both sat down, Laura thought she noticed a little discomfort in her friend’s face but she said nothing; at least not yet. Sensing Marlena wasn’t going to volunteer any information about her meeting with John, Laura dove right in. “So what happened? Did he believe you?”

Just those simple words suddenly caused something in Marlena to snap. She hadn’t cried a single tear since yesterday but now the dam was broken and an outpouring of tears sprang forth. “It was awful”, she sobbed.

Laura was taken by surprise at Marlena’s outburst. Immediately she grabbed her friend and hugged her. She felt Marlena stiffen the minute her arms went around her. She pulled back and looked at her…her face full of questions but not knowing which one to ask first. Finally she said, “Tell me.”

In between sobs Marlena told her how John didn’t believe her, how he thought she lied to him and how cold he behaved towards her. She didn’t, however, go into all the intimate details of their time together. Some things were too private to share…even with a best friend.

Laura felt Marlena was holding back but she wouldn’t push her. Sometimes you have to know when to back off and she definitely got the feeling this was one of them. Besides, she knew John would never raise his hand to her. But even knowing that; didn’t stop her from being furious with him. He had a right to be angry but he didn’t know all the facts and before the day was over he would…come hell or high water. Laura listened as Marlena told her about her altercation with Roman when she got home from John and about the videotape of the ceremony. By now Marlena was crying uncontrollably. It was no wonder Marlena called in sick. Any sane person would have.

Finally, Marlena stopped crying. “God, Laura; I’m so sorry I put you in the middle of my insanity.”

“You didn’t do anything, we’re best friends and this is what best friends do for one another. Now sit back while I get a cold cloth for your forehead.” Laura headed upstairs.

Marlena leaned back and closed her eyes. She was so glad Laura stopped by; she felt much better. Talking was good therapy.

Laura made her way into Marlena’s bathroom and found a washcloth. On her way back downstairs, she noticed the videotape on the dresser. She picked it up and headed back to Marlena.

Because her eyes were still closed, she didn’t notice the videotape in Laura’s hand. After placing the wash cloth on Marlena’s forehead she slipped the tape underneath her coat.

“Well sweetie, I hate to leave but I need to get back to work. Do you need me to do anything else while I’m here?”

Marlena sat up, “No, you’ve done enough.”

Laura gently pushed her back into the couch, “Don’t get up. I’ll see myself out and I’ll lock the door. You need to rest.” She leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, “I’ll call you later.”

Feeling emotionally drained, Marlena murmured her thanks as she heard Laura leaving. She settled back into the couch and drifted off to sleep once again. She never realized Laura had taken the tape with her.

Laura sat in her car seething. She would see John before the day was over and more importantly, he would listen to her. She would make damn sure of that.

Instead of paying attention to the conference call he was too busy staring at his watch. It was only 4 o’clock and he was already eager to call it a day. Normally his day ended at 6:00p.m. and that was only because he wanted to spend as much time with Brady as he could. That’s not to say he didn’t leave early on special occasions. After all, that was one of the perks of being the boss. But since New York his attention had not been on business and it was becoming obvious to some of the staff. Marlena had been the problem and she was still the problem. He had mistakenly thought once he dealt with her everything would go back to normal. No such luck. Today was worse than usual. He couldn’t get the look on her face as she left his loft nor could he erase the iciness of her voice from his mind.

Before he realized it, the call was over. He had been so busy thinking about Marlena he hadn’t heard a word anyone said. Luckily for him there would be a transcript of the entire conference call distributed to everyone. When he looked up, Kate was standing in front of his desk staring at him.

“John; is everything ok…I mean with Boaty.” She hated to pry into his private life but this was so out of character for him. It wasn’t like him to be so absentminded. Something was definitely on his mind and it was beginning to affect his business acumen.

“Boaty’s fine.” He answer came out sharper than he intended. “I’m sorry Kate; I just have a lot on my mind…that’s all.” He hoped his apology and explanation would end all inquiries. He wasn’t in the habit of discussing his personal life with anyone…other than with Marlena and now he couldn’t even do that.

Kate could see he was clearly uncomfortable discussing his personal life and decided not to pursue the subject any longer. “Ok, then…if you need anything just call.” She turned around and walked out of his office. Whatever was on his mind was weighing heavily and she hoped it would all work out soon.

After Kate left, John sat there a few minutes more. It was hopeless. He couldn’t concentrate. It would be better if he just went home. He packed his briefcase and headed home.

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Laura checked her watch for the third time in the last five minutes. She hated to be rude but it was time for her patient to leave…her time was up fifteen minutes ago. It had taken every ounce of professionalism Laura possessed to come back to work after lunch. After seeing Marlena the only thing she really wanted to do was wring John’s neck….and hopefully in a little while she would be doing just that. She had warned him…but apparently he hadn’t taken her seriously. That was his mistake. By the time she was finished with him he would never underestimate her again.

Finally! Her patient was leaving. As soon as the door closed behind her, Laura dialed John’s office. He was already gone for the day. That was good. She would catch him at home where they wouldn’t be interrupted. With her briefcase in hand, Laura left her office and headed over to John’s place.

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Marlena opened her eyes only to realize the day was almost over. In just a little while, the kids would be home from school and she was still in her night clothes. The last thing she remembered was Laura leaving to go back to work…that was almost four hours ago. She had been sleeping since Laura left. Slowly Marlena stood….God her whole body was stiff. She didn’t help her situation by sleeping on the couch all afternoon. A nice long hot bath was what she needed and possibly a cup of tea. Walking up to her room with a cup of tea in hand Marlena made her way to her bathroom. She couldn’t wait to sink her body in a nice hot tub and just soak. Hopefully some of the soreness would leave. After all, she had to go to work tomorrow. She would deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Marlena leaned back and let the water envelope her body. It felt wonderful. Just let the water rinse away all your pain and worries she told herself. Tomorrow will take care of itself. She closed her eyes and attempted to relax, however, something in the back of her mind kept nagging at her. She was forgetting something…something important but for the life of her she couldn’t remember what it was. Tomorrow…all she knew was it had to do with tomorrow. Relax, Marlena…it will come to you…don’t try to force it. It was slowly coming to her. Just a little more time and she would remember. All of a sudden Marlena sat up in the tub. She remembered. Damn!

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John opened the door to the loft. The place was immaculate. There wasn’t a single thing out of order…nothing to show what had taken place here yesterday. He sat his briefcase down on the table and fixed himself a drink. He didn’t usually drink this much, but lately it had become an every day occurrence. He would have to watch it. Just as he sat down, he heard a knock at the door. It was too early to be Victor with Boaty so whoever it was, he wasn’t answering the door.

Another knock, only this time a little louder. “John I know you’re home. I saw your car in the garage, now open up the damn door.”

Just what he needed, a confrontation with Laura. He wasn’t in the mood. Slowly John walked over to the door. “This isn’t a good time.”

“I really don’t give a damn…now open the door. You can either open it now or we can have this conversation tomorrow in your office. Either way, you’re going to talk to me. You choose.”

He knew Laura; she wasn’t kidding. He opened the door and stood aside to let her walk in. “I don’t have a lot of time so this has to be quick.”

Completely ignoring his comment Laura walked over to the couch and sat down. “This will take as long as it takes.”

Resigning himself to the fact she would have her say before she left he followed her to the couch and sat down. “Laura, you’re wasting your time. I know what happened while I was gone…I know everything.”

Laura said nothing…she simply looked at him.

The silence between them grew. Finally John spoke again, “I know you’re here to plead Marlena’s side of the story but there’s no need. I understand everything. I know what I mean to her…where my place in her life is. She and I came to an understanding. It is what it is between us.”

Again Laura remained silent.

John, feeling uncomfortable with Laura’s continued silence spoke up again, “Listen, I don’t have time for this. Either talk to me or leave but I’m not playing this game anymore.”

“John,” her voice was cold, her eyes blazing with anger, “I told you, no I warned you if you would hurt her in any way you would have to face me. Well judgment day has arrived.”

He was tired of this conversation, “Look, if anyone has a right to be angry and upset it’s me. I’m not the one who renewed my wedding vows.” He stood up and walked away.

Laura stood up and followed him. She reached out and turned him around until he was facing her once more. “You think you know everything, but you don’t. You don’t know a damn thing. She tried to tell you but you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself to listen to her. Well guess what? You’re going to listen to me and if you think I’m here by Marlena’s request, you’re dumber than I already think you are. Marlena has no idea I’m here; in fact this is the last thing she would want me to do.”

“There’s nothing you can tell me I don’t already know.”

“Is that right?” Even a deaf man could have heard the sarcasm in her voice. “Well, did you know that the night you and Marlena had the argument about Rebecca she also had a confrontation with Roman about the state of their marriage.”

John looked at her dumbfounded. He had no idea what she was talking about.

“I didn’t think so. I told you, you have no idea of everything that took place. There’s a lot you don’t know.”

“Then why didn’t she say anything the next day when I ran into you two at lunch.” He wasn’t letting her off that easy.

“Just when would she have done that? Would that be right after you told her you were leaving to go out of town?”

“Yes, damnit. That was the perfect time.” He walked away from Laura.

“And if she had, what do you think would have happened?” She was right behind him.

John didn’t say anything. He didn’t understand what she meant.

“I told her the same thing. And do you know what she said? She said if she would have said something than you would have wanted to talk about it and she didn’t want to spend the little time you two had together talking about Roman. Talking about Roman wasn’t what she wanted to do. She wanted to be with you.” Laura emphasized that last sentence. “Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure she was right on target. You would have wasted all that time talking about Roman instead of spending it with her. Think back to that day. You know I’m right.”

John slowly walked back to the couch. He was remembering that day in the diner…the way he manipulated her body while she sat next to him in the booth …the way they wanted each other in the storage closet…talking was not what he wanted that day. His head was spinning from this new bit of information. Still…she should have said something. “That still doesn’t explain everything.”

“You’re right it doesn’t, but that’s not all that happened.”

He looked up at her, “What do you mean?”

“She was already upset from her fight with you and when she got home Roman wanted to make love to her. He’d already planned the whole evening…without her knowledge.”

John winced at the thought of Roman putting his hands on Marlena. He remembered the way Roman had his hands on Marlena in her office earlier that day. As if he owned her.

Laura continued, “Roman couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to make love; he didn’t understand how she could respond to him one minute and the next minute she wanted nothing to do with him.”

“You’re talking about him surprising her in her office, aren’t you?”

“Exactly…I told you…I know everything. How could she kiss him earlier and not want him to touch her when she got home?”

John’s voice was a whisper, as if he was talking to himself. “Because she thought it was me. She thought I was Roman.”

“Right again. So in his mind, they would make love…only she turned him down. Finally she brought up the state of their marriage. She tried to get him to see how unhappy they both were. But according to Marlena, Roman didn’t see it that way.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“First of all Roman didn’t think anything was wrong between them and when he finally realized she was serious he didn’t hear everything she said. He only heard what he wanted to hear.”

“I’m not following you.”