The Affair

Realizations

“Roman thinks the reason they’re having problems is because they don’t spend enough time with one another…that they’re too busy with everything else and if they spend more quality time together everything will work out.”

“Ok, I can understand her not telling me about Roman but that doesn’t explain the renewal of their wedding vows.” He wasn’t ready to give up his so called ‘right to be angry.’

“If you wait until I’m finished, you’ll understand everything.” She was trying not to lose her temper. He needed to know and if they got into a shouting match he would no longer be listening to her. “Because Roman thought all they needed was a little alone time together, he made her promise she would go on a little date with him…just the two of them. By this time she was mentally exhausted. First you, then him…so she agreed. She didn’t think anything of it. She made him promise they wouldn’t stay out late and it wouldn’t be anything fancy. That’s what she agreed to…nothing else.”

John said nothing; he simply listened to her.

“Roman, however, had something else in mind. Instead of dinner, he planned that little ceremony. She didn’t want to go out to dinner with him, she but she couldn’t think of a way out of it. I was with her when she walked into the Pub. She had no idea he planned any of it.”

“Why did she go through with it? Why didn’t she say something?”

Now her temper was getting the best of her. Her voice rose an octave in frustration. “Say what? Say in front of everyone, including her children, that she didn’t love him, she loved you. For once, stop thinking of how hurt and betrayed you feel and try to understand the predicament she was in. There was no easy way out. I was there.”

“I read in the newspaper how happy she was; I saw a picture of them together. The article talked about how much they were in love with one another. You can’t explain away everything.” His anger was his defense mechanism. There was no way she could make him understand Marlena’s predicament.

“I don’t give a damn what you read or saw. That’s not the way it happened. Ever hear of poetic license? Did the article say she fainted?”

John stopped dead in his tracks. It felt like he had been hit with a ton of bricks. “What did you say?”

Before Laura could answer, his telephone began to ring. He looked in the direction of the phone but made no attempt to answer. He wanted to know about Marlena.

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Damn!!! The ball was tomorrow night. John would be there with Rebecca on his arm. She didn’t want to see him let alone speak to him but if she didn’t at least say hello Roman would become suspicious. If only there was a way she could somehow get out of going but there wasn’t. After all, it was the Policeman’s Ball and she was married to a policeman.

Marlena stood and wrapped a towel around her body. She had to find something to wear. A new gown would have been nice but that was no longer an option. Something in her closet would have to do. As she dressed, she made a mental list of all of the gowns she owned. There was one in particular that stood out in her mind. She bought it a long time ago but never wore it. She bought it when she was married to John but for some reason she never got the chance to wear it. And then she remembered…she had worn it once…she had put it on but before she could leave the bedroom, John then known as Roman, had taken it off her in record time. They never made it to the gala but instead spent the night making love. Slowly she made her way to her closet and began to look for the gown. Hopefully it would still fit.

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“Aren’t you going to answer?”

“No, the machine will pick up. What happened to Marlena?”

“John, answer the phone. I’ll wait.”

He could tell by the tone of her voice it was pointless to argue with her. He walked over to the phone and answered, “John Borne.”

Laura could see the look of aggravation cross his face as he heard the voice on the other end.

“Actually it’s not a good time. No, I’m kind of in the middle of something but I did remember and I was going to call you later tonight.”

After a moment of silence, he answered, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow night at 7:00.” Again he listened before he answered, “That’s ok, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodbye.” He hung up and turned back to Laura waiting for her to continue.

Now that she had his full attention she would make sure he listened to her. “Are you willing to listen to me?”

“Tell me what happened…please.” It felt like the weight of the world had just been placed on his shoulders.

“As I said before, she didn’t have a clue. Once she realized what was going on I could see the panic in her eyes. I made some excuse to Roman about fixing her makeup so we could go in the other room. She didn’t want to go thru with it but we couldn’t come up with a valid reason not to. She hoped she would get the chance to explain everything to you before you found out, but needless to say a reporter beat her to it.”

He couldn’t believe his ears…the hell he put her through…she tried to tell him but he wouldn’t listen…his pride was hurt. He should have known better.

Laura could see the anguish in his face but remained unmoved. He deserved everything he felt and more. “As soon as we walked back into the Pub, the ceremony began.” It was at this point she pulled the tape out of her purse and handed it to John. “I assume you have a VCR.”

“What’s this?”

“You’ll soon see. Play it.” Laura walked over to the couch as John popped the tape into the VCR and hit the play button.

With the remote in his hand, John hit the play button as he sat next to Laura. The first thing he saw was the look of surprise on Marlena’s face as she walked into the Pub. Anyone watching the tape could see she clearly thought the surprise was for someone else. The next shot was of Roman walking up to her. There was no audio from this shot but it was clear Roman was explaining the surprise to a very agitated Marlena. Next he watched as they both walked into the back room. The tape stops and resumes when they emerge, this time there is audio, and Roman announces Marlena has agreed to marry him again in front of family and friends.

John stopped the tape. He couldn’t bear to watch anymore. The remote slipped from his hand to the floor. Laura, however was not about to let him off the hook. “There’s more. You need to see it.” Not one ounce of sympathy could be heard in her voice. She simply picked up the remote and hit the button once again.

This time he watches as Laura and Marlena walk together into the back room. Once again the tape stops and resumes when they return. He knows Marlena better than anyone else on earth and he can tell by the look on her face she has accepted the situation but he can also see she is clearly unhappy. It’s in her eyes, the sadness and the regret she is feeling. John sits in silence as he watches the woman he loves more than anything prepare to remarry her husband. He watches as Roman says his vows…how he talks about the obstacles they had to overcome – namely Stefano and John (without actually naming them), how they always manage to find their way back to one another; how much he loves her and finally he watches as Roman leans over and kisses her lips.

John sat up as Marlena began to recite her vows to Roman. He listened closely while he watched her body language. He winced in pain as Marlena said the day she married him was one of the happiest days of her life. It was true and he knew it, but it still hurt to hear her say it. And then she spoke about the children…how much joy they brought her; how she couldn’t imagine her life without them…all true. Until Roman came back, he could have never imagined his life without them in it. She also spoke about the pain and heartache they both shared…he knew this to be true also. Late at night in a time when they shared a life together, when he was Roman, she would have him hold her in his arms all night long, afraid to sleep because it might all be a dream and when she awoke he would still be gone. She would whisper how happy she was because he was back in her life and even though they were happy before Stefano, somehow they had managed to share a deeper love for one another.

And finally he watched as Marlena wished they would both find the happiness they wanted and deserved. Because he was watching her body language he noticed something was wrong immediately. He could see it in her face and just like that she fainted. The tape stopped. When it resumed, Roman was standing by Marlena and the crowd was chanting for them to kiss. Roman told her he loved and then it was Marlena’s turn. John held his breath. She said it…she loved him. Roman pulled her closer to him and began to kiss her. John could see Roman was trying desperately to turn the sweet gentle kiss into something a bit more passionate. He could also see him trying to pull her body closer to him as humanly possible. Finally Marlena pulled away. John exhaled. Just as she was about to walk away, the music began…Unchained Melody. It was their song. John watched as Roman and Marlena danced together and just as the song ended someone called their names. They stood still, their arms still around one another. He saw a flash cross the screen. John took the remote from Laura’s hand and rewound the tape. He watched closely as someone called their names and as soon as he saw the flash, John pressed the pause button. The taped captured their pose…it was the same one he saw in the newspaper…the one of them together.

Laura took the remote from his hand and walked over to the VCR. She pulled the tape out and turned to face John, “Now you know everything. The only thing left to see is the reception.” She placed the tape in her purse and walked out of his loft leaving John sitting alone on the couch. She never said another word.

John sat there unable to move. Everything he thought he knew was wrong. Tears began to roll down his face as he remembered everything he had done to her…it was too much for him to think about. He didn’t want to think about it. The only thing he wanted to do was see her but he knew he couldn’t. It would be another sleepless night for him and again Marlena would be the cause only this time the circumstances were completely different. Was it too late already? Had he pushed her away from him forever? Would she ever forgive him? Suddenly John’s body began to convulse as he sobbed uncontrollably. It didn’t matter if she forgave him, he would never forgive himself.

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Laura drove straight to Marlena’s house…the tape still in her purse.

Marlena opened the door and was surprised to see Laura standing there. “Well, twice in one day. Come in.”

Laura followed Marlena to the couch. “Is anybody else home?”

Marlena shook her head, “Eric has practice and Sami and Carrie are involved in the school play.”

“What about Roman?”

“No, not yet; why do you ask?”

Laura was confident she did the right thing in showing John the tape; she just wasn’t sure how Marlena would react. Only one way to find out. She opened her purse and handed Marlena the tape.

“What’s this?”

“It’s the tape of you and Roman.”

“What tape are you talking about?” She hoped she wrong but she had the sinking feeling she knew what Laura would say next.

“He had to know…he needed to see for himself and I knew after whatever happened between you two yesterday you would never tell him yourself. I took the tape when I was here earlier…at lunch time.” She took Marlena’s hand, “Please don’t be mad, but he needed to know the truth.”

Marlena didn’t know what she felt. She wasn’t sure of anything. The only thing she knew was Laura was doing what she thought was best. She couldn’t be mad at her for that. “I’m not mad at you…to tell you the truth; I don’t know what I feel.”

Laura breathed a sigh of relief, “Whew! I thought you might throw me out of here. You know I only did what I thought was best. I have never seen two people who belong together like you and John. You two have to find a way to get past all of this…I don’t know what happened yesterday but I do know you just don’t stop loving someone overnight…at least not the way you two love one another.”

Marlena listened to her friend’s passionate speech about her and John. The truth was she still loved him she just didn’t know if it would be enough. She didn’t know anything anymore. Finally she spoke, “Did he watch it?” It came out as a whisper. She wanted to know the answer but at the same time she was afraid to hear it.

“I played it for him.”

“And…”

“When it was over, I left. The tape spoke for itself.”

Before Marlena could say anything the front door opened and Eric, Sami and Carrie walked in.

Eric was the first to speak, “Mom, you’re home early.” He walked over, kissed her and turned to Laura, “Hi Aunt Laura.”

Laura could tell Marlena didn’t want the kids to see the tape so she spoke up giving Marlena time to hide the tape underneath the cushion. “Hi Eric, Sami, Carrie.

Sami and Carrie replied in unison, “Hi Aunt Laura.”

With the tape safely hidden, Marlena spoke, “I wasn’t feeling well so I took the day off.” Before they could say anything else she continued, “But I’m feeling much better now, it was just a stomach virus. Go get something to eat in the kitchen. I know you guys are starving.”

At the mention of food, all three children ran to the kitchen. As soon as they left, Marlena grabbed the taped and ran upstairs with it. When she came back down Laura was standing by the door.

“You’re leaving already?”

“It’s been a long day for both of us. Get some rest and think about what I said…about you and John.” She leaned in kissed Marlena on the cheek.

Marlena closed the door behind her and leaned against. She would think about it…that was probably all she would be able to think about until she saw him tomorrow night. Hearing the kids voices getting louder she made her way into the kitchen with a smile on her face. No matter what else was happening in her life, they always cheered her up. Standing in the kitchen doorway watching them interact with one another, listening to them tease one another brought a smile to her face. “What are you guys up to now?”

The day was a blur for John, before he knew it Boaty was already with Caroline and Shawn and he was on his way to pick up Rebecca. He sat in his car in front of her apartment…dreading the very moment that had already arrived. Rebecca was a nice woman and if it weren’t for Marlena she could be a momentary distraction. Who was he kidding? It was always Marlena…from the first time she walked into his hospital room it was her. He couldn’t remember a time when she didn’t occupy his thoughts or his heart. And now it might be over…all because he wouldn’t listen to her. He couldn’t bear the thought she would never be in his arms again…in his life again. With a heavy heart John opened the door and walked into Rebecca’s apartment building.