The Affair

Make up

On the ride back to the hospital Marlena told Laura everything. She told her about their night together on Victor’s plane… how the thought of John leaving Salem forever was like a knife through her heart. Of how she convinced herself she was going there to talk him out of leaving but how they made love instead. And even after that night she still denied her feelings for him but John wouldn’t believe her. How the night of the Titan Ball she ran from John all night long until he finally cornered her in the conference room and told her he would leave her alone if that’s what she truly wanted… but that she couldn’t let him go and they made love in the conference room. Still she wouldn’t or couldn’t believe that her love for him was that strong and she once again told him they could never be together again. She tried to tell herself it was just an incredible physical attraction between them and that she still loved Roman and that she belonged with him. But the truth was John knew her better than she knew herself and he knew eventually she would realize what he already knew… that they belonged together. He also told her until she came to him freely he wouldn’t pursue her but he would be there if she ever needed him. The night of the blackout everything changed. That night was supposed to be a new beginning for her and Roman but instead it was a new beginning for her and John. That night in the penthouse she could no longer lie to herself about her feelings for him. He was the man she loved and she wanted to be with him. Since the night of the blackout she hadn’t seen John until yesterday when he called and said he was on his way to her office.

Laura interrupted her at that point, “So that’s the reason you wouldn’t go to lunch yesterday with me.”

She shook her head, “Yes, I’m sorry about that. He was already on his way over when you asked about lunch.”

“You know I had the feeling you weren’t being completely honest with me yesterday.”

“So why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I knew you would tell me when you were ready.”

“You really are my best friend.”

“I am your best friend. So you’ve explained how you feel about John, why haven’t you told Roman you love John?”

“It’s not that simple. There are outside factors that come in to play.”

“If you’re looking for the right time and place, it’s never going to happen. There is no right time or place to tell someone you’re no longer in love with them and you want to be with someone else. Delaying only makes it harder.”

“I know but that’s not the reason. Roman is working on some big case that has him totally preoccupied. I don’t know what it is but I do know it’s dangerous. He needs to focus on the job and not worry about us. If he found out the truth right now, I don’t know how he would react. I do know he would begin to take unnecessary chances and maybe something would happen to him. If he got hurt or God forbid, died, because of me I would never forgive myself.”

“Marlena I understand what you’re saying but you have to realize this is the line of work he chose. He was a cop before you married him and he will always be a cop. Hell, the reason you’re together is because he was assigned to protect you. You can’t put your life on hold until he’s out of danger. Being a cop puts his life in danger day in and day out. Deep down you know that.”

“As soon as this assignment is over I’m going to tell him the truth. But it’s just not the job; I also have to consider the well-being of my children. They’ve been through so much the last couple of years that I really don’t want to upset the somewhat normal life we’re leading right now. First Roman died, John came into their lives as their dad and raised them for years; I disappeared and came back and finally the dad that they knew for most of their young lives turned out not to be their dad after all. I’m amazed they’re not suffering from some kind of post traumatic stress.”

“They’re strong kids. They’ll survive the next phase in their lives.”

“Still it’s not that easy to throw their lives into chaos again.”

“I understand what you’re saying, but let me ask you this. When John was taking care of them they loved him completely, right?”

“They did.”

“And when you and Roman came back, it was a huge adjustment for them, right?”

“For all of us.”

“But they did it. So do you think they still love John?”

“I think they love him but it’s hard for them, knowing Roman is their father. I think if they show how much they love John they’ll feel like they’re betraying their father. I can understand that guilt.”

“Is that because you fell in love with John and you feel you should have known deep down inside he wasn’t Roman? You should have known he wasn’t your husband. Or is it because you fell in love with John and deep down inside you knew he wasn’t Roman but you couldn’t help yourself?”

“I’ve thought about that a lot and I honestly don’t know. All I do know is I fell in love with him and I can’t stop loving him. So maybe I did know he wasn’t Roman but I couldn’t help myself then or now.”

“Marlena I think you and John would have found your way to each other even if Stefano hadn’t interfered in your lives. I have never seen two people who love each more than you two. I believe John would have eventually found a reason to come to Salem and you two would have found each other. You know I’m right.”

“All I know is I’m going to break up my family and once again my children will suffer.”

“Would you rather stay married to Roman and have an affair with John hoping you won’t get caught or would you rather be honest and let Roman find some happiness with someone else. The choice is yours and you know it. John will do whatever you want him to. If it means being your lover because of your children, the children he loves like they’re his own, he would do it. He doesn’t want to cause you or them any unnecessary pain. That’s how much he loves you. The question is… can you have him in your life as your lover only? Only sharing stolen moments in your office or a diner or anywhere else you can?”

At the mention of her office, a rosy shade of red began to cover her neck and face. “No I can’t.”

Laura could see Marlena was embarrassed by the mention of her office. “There’s no reason to be embarrassed. This is me you’re talking to. If we can’t be honest with one another than what kind of friends are we? The bottom line is you love John.”

“I do…but everything is so complicated. Yesterday I thought we had everything figured out and then ….”

“Roman came back and he doesn’t have a clue as to how you really feel does he?”

Marlena shook her head, “It’s not like I thought John and I could go on pretending Roman wasn’t in the picture. He was always on my mind …I worry about him and I love him. He will always have a place in my heart. We share children together.”

“But you’re not IN LOVE with him.”

“It would be so much easier if Roman was a bad husband or father… but he’s not. He’s a good and decent man.”

“Which is why you have to be honest with him. You can’t go on lying to him forever. Besides, how long do think you can hold Roman off.”

Marlena didn’t say anything.

Laura pulled into the garage and turned off the car. “You didn’t answer my question. How long do you think Roman will continue to be patient and understanding before he realizes you don’t want to make love to him?”

Marlena stared straight ahead and remained silent.

Puzzled by her silence Laura sat there for a moment. Then she turned in her seat and looked at her friend. “Did something happen last night?” The wheels in her head were turning. “Is this the reason you were upset this morning? And is this the reason you and John had the quote unquote misunderstanding yesterday?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“I’m only trying to help.”

Tears slowly rolled down her face; her voice barely a whisper, “I know. It’s just that everything is a mess.”

“We’ll get through this; I promise.”

Marlena was touched by her friend’s concern. “Laura you’ve already helped me more than I can say; more than I can ever repay and I don’t want to take advantage of our friendship.”

“Didn’t I say you could talk to me about anything?”

Marlena nodded her head in agreement.

“Well I meant it. Now tell me what happened last night.”

Marlena was just about to begin when she glanced at her watch. “It’s later than I thought. I have to get back to my office for a conference call.” She opened her car door.

“Wait I’ll walk with you.” Laura hurried to catch up with Marlena. “We can talk while we walk.” They approached the elevator and waited for the doors to open.

“It’s too long and complicated to get into right now. Can we do it later on? What time are finished for the day?”

“My last appointment is for 4 o’clock and after that I was just going to catch up on the never ending paperwork. What time do you finish?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll call you and let you know.”

“I have a little time before I have my next appointment so I’ll walk with you to your office while you check your calendar.”

“Sounds good to me.” The doors opened and they stepped in. They rode the rest of the way in silence. Marlena was second guessing her decision not to tell John about her date with Roman. She should have told him when she had the chance but the truth of the matter was as soon as he told her about his trip she didn’t want to spend the little time they had together discussing Roman. Laura, in turn, was going over every detail Marlena told her about yesterday. As happy as she was for her friend she was also afraid for her. Marlena was not the kind of woman who could carry on an affair and not have it affect her. She would definitely have to watch out for her friend.

As the doors opened they headed towards Marlena’s office. Diane was already at her desk.

“Diane did I get any messages while I was at lunch?” Both she and Laura stood by her office door waiting for Diane’s reply.

“No messages but you did get a delivery.” She handed Marlena a package. “It came by messenger.”

Marlena took the package and walked in her office. She looked at the place where there should have been a return address but there was nothing there. “That’s odd.” Laura sat on the couch while Marlena walked over to check her calendar. “I’m done for the day by 4:30. Why don’t you come here when you’re done?”

“Ok, now are you going to open the package?”

Marlena laughed, “Some things never change. You’ve been this way since college…always ready to rip the wrapping off of any present.”

“I can’t help it. Now open it.”

Marlena shrugged her shoulders, “I wasn’t expecting anything so it can’t be important.”

“Well we won’t know that until you open it.”

“Alright already, you win.” Marlena opened the box only to find a brown envelope with a clasp on the back inside. “Ok, now I’m intrigued.”

By now Laura was at her side, “See I told you; open it.”

Marlena opened the envelope and pulled out an 8×10 photo in a beautiful silver frame. Also in the envelope was a smaller wallet size picture of the same photo. Attached to the frame was a post it note with the words ‘Maternity Ward’ written. There was no card but she knew immediately it was from John. “It’s absolutely beautiful.”

Laura looked at the photo. “I agree it’s beautiful but what does it mean besides lilacs being your favorite flower?”

Marlena placed the photo on her desk. It was a picture of a bouquet of lilacs…her favorite flowers. It was the most beautiful bouquet of lilacs she had ever seen. Each one was perfect but arranged together in the bouquet it was the most stunning picture she had ever seen. The way they were arranged, the way the light hit them just right way, the way the camera captured their beauty…there were no words to describe how moved she was by them. “They’re from John and it means he is the most romantic man in the world. Come on.” She held the wallet size photo in her hand as she headed out of the door.

“Where are we going?”

“To the Maternity Ward, where else?” As she passed Diane she said, “I’ll be right back.”

“Ok so do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Just wait…you’ll see.”

As they rounded the corner there was already a crowd gathering. Marlena and Laura inched their way through until they could see what was causing all of the commotion. There were bouquets of lilacs all over. Marlena made her way to the head nurse, “What’s going on?”

The head nurse shook her head, “I have no idea. All I know is they” she pointed to the bouquets “started arriving with instructions to place them in the Maternity Ward. No one knows who ordered them or why.”

Marlena and Laura turned to leave. Marlena smiled all the way back to her office. As soon as the door closed behind them Laura said, “Ok, tell me what’s going on.”

“Remember I told you John and I had a misunderstanding. This is his way of apologizing. Realizing he couldn’t send me a bouquet of flowers he did the next best thing. He arranged to have a photo taken of them, delivered to me and then had the flowers sent to the Maternity Ward where new mothers could enjoy them.”

“You do know how lucky you are to have a man who loves you that much.”

“I know…and it amazes me that I’m that lucky.” She pulled out her wallet and placed the smaller picture inside of it. That way where ever she went his flowers would always be with her.

“Well it’s time for me to get back to my office; I’ll buzz you when I’m done for the day.”

“See you later.” Marlena sat at her desk and picked up the picture. Without a doubt he was the most loving man on the face of the earth. She placed it back on her desk and looked at the roses Roman sent her. She knew he meant well but after all of these years he still didn’t remember lilacs were her favorite flowers. She placed them on the table in front of her couch. Once again she looked over her calendar. She was due on a conference call in about 10 minutes. It wasn’t important and it would probably last a little over an hour. After the call she was free for another hour. All in all that gave her 2 free hours if she blew off the call… and she was definitely leaning towards blowing off the call. She needed to talk to John. She should have told him about Roman earlier but she hadn’t. His reaching out to her and apologizing for their misunderstanding only reinforced the guilt she felt for not telling him about Roman. She needed to tell him before he left town. The last thing she needed was him finding out through someone else. She dialed his private number.

“John Borne, can I help you?”

“Well as a matter of fact Mr. Borne you can.” The mere sound of his voice was enough to arouse her.

John sat back in his chair. Her voice sent chills all over his body, “Well what can I do for you pretty lady?”

“I was calling to thank you for my picture but I think a phone call is so impersonal.”

Thoroughly enjoying their conversation John replied, “So do I, what do you have in mind?”

“Well if you’re not too busy, I was wondering if I could stop by your office to thank you in person.”

“I’m never too busy for you…but how about the penthouse instead. You have your key don’t you?”

“I think it’s safer if I meet you in your office.”

“Safer for whom?”

“For both of us. I never seem to keep my clothes on when I’m around you.”

“And what’s wrong with that? Is that a bad thing?”

“It is when I’m trying to talk to you.”

“Doc I promise I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. You have my word.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about…it’s me. Once you start I can never say no. No matter how many times I say stop I never mean it and you know that.”

“Ok then you have my word; I won’t start anything. I won’t kiss your neck and work my way down your body until I’m kneeling in front of you. I won’t let my hands wander all over your body until finally they find the place my tongue wants to be the most.” He could feel the tightness in his trousers already.

Just his description of what he wouldn’t do to her body had her n*****s hard. She felt the heat between her legs. It was time to end the conversation. “Meet me at the penthouse.”

“I’m on my way.” John hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket. His secretary looked up in surprise as he left his office. “I have an emergency I have to handle; I’ll check in when I can. Extend my apologies and push everything back for a couple of hours.” He walked down the hallway and saw the elevator door closing, “Hold the elevator please.”

The elevator doors reopened. He stepped in and saw it was Kate Roberts, his vice president of the company waiting for him.

“John I thought you had a meeting.”

“I do but I have something I have to attend to. I pushed it back a couple of hours.” He didn’t say anything else. The last thing he needed was office gossip.

Kate sensing he didn’t want to elaborate went back to reading the file in her hand. Where ever he was going or what ever he was doing must be really important for him to blow off a meeting. The doors were barely open before he sprinted out. She called after him, “Hope everything works out.”

“Thanks,” he yelled over his shoulder without turning back.

Damn he was one good looking man. Too bad she didn’t believe in mixing business with pleasure because she was sure with him it would be the most exquisite pleasure she ever experienced. She might have to re-think her rule.

Inside of five minutes of hanging up with Marlena, John was already peeling out of the parking garage. He had to force himself to obey the speed limit. Getting a ticket or more importantly causing an accident was not what he wanted. However feeling the tightness in pants he increased his speed by 5 miles per hour. After all, it was the unwritten 5 mile rule. You could go 5 miles over the speed limit without getting a ticket as long as it wasn’t in a school zone.

After rescheduling her conference call Marlena grabbed her purse and headed out of the door. “Diane something’s come up and I have to leave for a little while. I’ve already rescheduled the call so I’m free right now.”

“Is there anything you need me to do Dr. Evers?”

“No I’ve taken care of everything. Just hold the fort down.” Before Diane could ask her any more questions Marlena was gone. As she rode down the elevator, the throbbing between her legs increased. This is ridiculous she told herself. Here she was a well known psychiatrist rushing off to be with her lover. No not be with him, talk to him. She had to tell him about Roman. Talk to him she told herself over and over. It didn’t matter what her body wanted, talk was the only reason for the visit. She was just with him a little while ago. How could she want him so badly in such a short span of time? Marlena rode down the elevator oblivious to everyone and everything around her. Finally she was in her car on her way to see him.

Since the hospital was closer than his office she was the first to arrive. She hadn’t been back since the night of the black out. Now it was more of a home than an empty apartment. There were fresh flowers in the vase on the table and a few personal touches. Definitely a place she could be comfortable in. She sat on the couch and waited for John to arrive.

She heard his key in the door. Her heart began to beat faster. The door opened and there he was.