Graceful Stubborn Heart

How It All Started: Diversation

Jake P.O.V.

I drove excitedly to Clarisse's place, hoping for a diversion from being with Carmen's new group too much, yet as I was speeding through the empty Sunday highway, my mind drifted towards Grace. I heard myself chuckle at the thought of a woman wanting to be a single mother when most of the the females I know want security from men they barely even know.

"What if I'd volunteer to be her sperm donor? I could be a baby daddy. No strings attached, you know.", I muttered to myself, as I was nearing the driveway. I'm excited and feeling myself getting turned on. However, I couldn't comprehend if it was triggered by the thought of being Grace's baby daddy or by being with Clarisse today. I shrugged it off as I parked and went up the elevator to Clarisse's unit. 

Knock, knock. Clarisses flashed me with her widest smile as she opened the door to welcome me. I smiled back and kissed her on the lips. She kissed back torridly as she was pushing the door closed. She pinned me on the wall, as her kisses ran from my lips down to my neck, while her hands are undoing the buttons on the shirt one by one. I responded by stroking her hair gently and then going down to cup her breasts. I played with her n*****s, which made her let out a moan. I missed this.

Unknowingly, her mouth found mine again and we kissed passionately as she hastily unbuckled my belt and put her fingers down my briefs to feel me. "Has this been hungry but well-behaved?",  she asked. I got surprised by her voice. It was not as I expected. I looked at her to try to make out what is happening. She put her hands playfully on my chest, "What's wrong, babe?", she asked confused. "Clarisse", I whispered as I furrowed my eyebrows before I removed her robe to see her naked body waiting for me. She pulled my pants and briefs down and I grabbed closed to me. I kissed her neck down to her breasts so hungrily trying to push things away from my thoughts. I realized that the more I got heated up the more unwanted thoughts and images enter my mind. I had to do these fast and I had to keep saying her name, otherwise I might be saying someone else's as I c****x. 

"Seems like you can't get enough, Babe. Don't worry we have the whole day. We can move to the bed and do it slow.", she suggested. didn't respond. I just  kept kissing her body, one hand cupping at her breast for me to suck it while the other hand is playing with her v****a. She was so wet and ready so I took her right there. I asked her to turn around. I don't want to see her face because in my mind, I am thinking of somebody else and I cannot control it.

Once done, I immediately went to the bathroom to clean up. I felt disgusted and I couldn't understand why. I turned on the cold shower to release the tension. I closed my eyes and there I saw her inside my head. "Grace", I mumbled. "Why?", I asked myself. I don't understand myself. I couldn't even find anything attractive with her in her wearing loose shirts. One cannot even see a glimpse of her body. I couldn't even remember if she was wearing shorts or pants. All I see was her face. "Oh, God! Why?", I said out loud.

Without warning, Clarisse came in the bathroom but I told her to wait til I am done and that I wanted to be alone for a while. She said that she wanted to join me but I was firm in wanting space. As confused as I was, she couldn't do anything. She knows  that when I am serious, no one can sway me. So she went out and by that very moment, flashes of Grace's smirks, smiles, stares, and other funny expression danced in my head. I didn't notice that I was already smiling so I just let out a smile.

I need a diversion, I thought. So I went out to look for Clarisse and do a second round. She was sitting on the bed with her back at me so I approached her and hugged her from the back. I kissed her neck passionately, which she responded by bending her head to the other side to give me better access. She stood up and put her hands around my neck. We faced the mirror and I from her back put my hands in her breasts and playfully kissed and such each of them. She let out loud moans because I know that I have aroused her. I then moved my hands around her body to touch the other parts that would send her to high places. Her hands started to trail down, looking for my p***s. She wanted it inserted into her but it isn't ready yet. So she just spread her legs wide and started to playfully massaged her c**t. I closed my eyes as I hear her moaning but all I see is Grace. "f**k!", I said. Clarisse heard me, thinking that I wanted so hard to f**k, she pushed me on the bed and tried to get on top of me. She tried so hard yet, I still couldn't get myself standing. She tried to put it in her mouth yet she failed.

"Is this tired?", she asked. I blankly stared at her and shrugged, "Sorry. It must be due to stress", I guessed. This is so unlikely of me because stressed or not, I know that I can last up to multiple rounds yet here I am so helpless.

Clarisse, feeling frustrated, laid down beside me, and slowly drifted off to sleep. I turned to my side facing her. I studied her face and her body. She is very beautiful and sophisticated. I know  a lot of man who would want to be with her yet she chose to stick with me even if it is just a secret affair. She must love me, I thought. Do I love her? I can't even know if it is really love I feel for her. What is love anyway?