From A Distance
1050 Words
She was has just woken up from a nap when we came in. It was probably our voices upon arriving that caused her to wake up. Everybody immediately came to her side when they saw her up. They checked all the rashes, while I sat on a chair in the far corner, feeling guilty and embarrassed of what Clarisse has done.
"You're hot.", Carmen commented while touching her forehead.
"Yeah. You know what's funny?", Grace replied with a question. I cannot even fathom to comprehend how she is able to find humor in her situation.
"My temperature is high and yeah, I feel extremely hot from the outside. It feels like my body is burning, but it's too cold inside. My body is shivering. The blood circulating in my body feels like water with ice and my muscles are from the freezer.", she continued with a faint smile. I know that she smiles to put up a front.
"I think you needed more rest.", Bea chimed in. "Do you need to go back to sleep? We dim the lights or we can stay outside while we wait for drowsiness to come.", she offered.
"Thank you, Bhey. I'll be fine with the dim lights. I'll just have an apple for dinner. I don't feel hungry anyway.", she politely replied.
Bea washed an apple and offered it to Grace. She gratefully accepted it, ate the whole fruit up, and went back to bed after brushing her teeth. When it was certain that she was already in deep sleep, Karlo spoke up in a very soft voice,
"I don't think that she isn't really hungry. It's just that she isn't allowed heavy food to not irritate her throat more. It's so sore and red. The allergologist has already given her a higher dose so hopefully the rashes and internal swelling will subside by tomorrow."
"Oh, god! This is all my fault. I'm sorry.", I pleaded. "Yea, right. All the blame is on you.", Carmen snapped.
"Shhhh...", I heard Mark but in while wrapping his arms around Carmens waist from the back, "It's Clarisse's fault, not really yours. You just feel guilty that it was you who brought Clarrise with you.", he directed to me. I just bowed down my head.
"C'mon. let's sleep early and hope that things get better tomorrow.", Mark spoke while dragging Carmen to bed with her.
After some 30 minutes more, the room felt quiet. At first, I could her Bea and Karlo lightly laughing at something. I think they were making out, but eventually it died down. All I could hear now are their breathing. I checked the time, it's nearly 1 AM yet I still couldn't sleep. I feel so guilty. If only the ground can swallow me whole.
Suddenly, I felt a light tap on the shoulder. I looked up, surprised to see Mike, gesturing me to go with him outside. I have no idea what he's up to, but I followed anyway.
"Care for a drink?", he asked as he handed me a bottle of beer. I just accepted it without saying anything. I just looked at the pitch black sky which seemed to meet the ocean from afar.
"I know how you are feeling. It is understandable as Clarisse came as your guest, and I am pretty sure that Grace isn't putting the blame on you. I know her. She always stick to her logic.", he broke the silence.
"Thank you but it's really pretty bad.", I sighed.
"Yea, very bad. That's why we are very careful.", he said. "But I do have a question. When did you start having interest on her?", he continued.
The question caught me off-guard. I don't know how to respond because I have no idea about him in Grace's life, aside from being her friend. I am not sure if he likes her too. "What do you mean?" was all I said.
"Oh, c'mon man! Let's not go around the bush. It's pretty obvious. Even when Clarisse was here, your eyes always found their way to Grace. Be careful man. She's hardwork.", he chuckled.
"Are you into her? I'm sorry man for stepping on the line. I'll keep my eyes to myself from now on.", I said apologetically since I don't want trouble. I am not the type who competes for a woman. Women come to me. I don't.
"Yea, before", he said. Why am I not surprised hearing this? "But nah. I didn't nurture it. It didn't go beyond admiration and friendship. I told you she is a hard nut to c***k. Her allergies for once would mean I have to avoid alcohol to be with her. Her body cannot stand a drop of alcohol and I cannot let go of alcohol. It's one of the ways that can ease me after a tiring work day. She's old fashioned too. Strictly believes in long courtships and I cannot go on for long. The excitement wears down. Don't get me wrong. She is a wonderful person with a very kind heart. She isn't just the type I'd be in a relationship with.", he said.
"You know, just like you, I get excited by steamy s*x. Spontaneous dates that could lead to an exciting and very tiring night in bed.", he winked. "And I don't think she is the type. I am not sure though. I cannot read her.", he looked at me as if asking me if I am willing to let go of that exciting life.
I shook my head and raised my palms in surrender. " I don't know man. I just don't know. I don't see her the way I see the women I dated. Yes, I initially thought that she lives a boring life but lately, especially when stress starts to consume me, I close my eyes for a minute. And slowly she appears in my mind. I cannot shake it off. I don't know why. And talking to her brings me that sense of peace. I feel relax. She also is a good listener, always willing to hear my thoughts."
Mike didn't say anything. He only smiled while shaking his head, but I know what he means. He couldn't believe that I, a person like himself, is falling into the trap of love. Is this love really?
"Just be careful and be sure of yourself before you do or say anything, okay?", he said before going inside.
- Writer
