Graceful Stubborn Heart

How It All Started: No Romance

It turned out that Grace's birthday wasn't the last. The nearer we were to the announcement of our engagement, the more clingy Carmen has become to Mark. She always wanted to stay with him during weekends and it since, among the girls, it's only Grace who isn't living with her parents, overnights were always at her apartment. It was the safest place to be without arousing suspicion from anyone. It's not always a drinking session. Most often, they just hang out there to watch movies or chill. I honestly find it it tiresome because I wanted my weekends to be exciting, but I had to protect Carmen. It is for our own good anyway. So, I have become an unwilling member of their chill out group.

This made Clarisse, the girl I was dating furious. She doesn't know about the engagement. All she knew was  the special bond I have with Carmen and that I have to be with her because that was what our parents wanted. She wanted to join the group but Carmen doesn't like her. No matter how much Clarisse tried to reach out to her. So I told her I'll make it up to her on Sunday nights. 

It has been a routine for them. Sometimes, it's just Mark and Carmen staying over (and me as chaperone). Often they lost in their moment and I couldn't bear to see them making out in the living room so I go upstairs. Knock knock. Grace opened the door, a book in one hand. "Can I stay for awhile, at least until the heat boils down.", I said rolling my eyes referring to Carmen and Mark making out. Grace gives a soft chuckle and let me in. I sit on her bed and tinkers my phone, while Grace sits on a couch in one corner of the room to continue with her reading. I planned to texting Clarisse but I coudn't concentrate. I observed that as Grace becomes too deep in her reading, she forgets about her surroundings. It's so relaxing to see her so calm and oblivious. I lied down on my side on the bed, facing her. I was playing with my phone but I was also observing her. I wondered how would it be to come home to a house like this and to a woman like her. 

What am I thinking. Am I thinking of marriage? I cannot even find something interesting or sexually attractive in her. I shook my head and let out a sigh. She turned her gaze towards me, eyebrows meeting as if asking a question. I just looked at her so we ended up staring at each other for a while until she broke the silence, "So what is your story?"

Surprised by her question. How can this person not think of s*x when it's just the two of us in her room and we could her moans from downstairs. "Do you just ignore them?", I asked her, ignoring her question. She just laughed at me. "So tell me, how is your girlfriend taking things with your set up with Carmen and Mark?". Oh, she knows. I told her everything and she said that she understands what Clarisse is going through and she thinks that if I am sure that I love Clarisse then I should tell her the truth. Otherwise, I'll have to let her go. 

"Would be open to such a relationship?", I asked her. "I cannot tell for sure. One cannot dictate on love.", she said calmly. "But why did they say that all you wanted is to be a single mother?", I asked her curious to know what is in her head this time. Her response took me by surprise, "I don't know. It's just that when I try to visualize the future I only see myself and my child. I cannot figure out a man there." 

My chest felt a little warmth and a soft thug. It's something new to me. I sat on the bed, facing her. "Could it be because you have not met your match yet?", I suggested the way Mark did to me. 

"Could be. That's what Mark told me too. Let's see how the future goes." I want to give her a hug but I am holding up. I don't want to appear ungentlemanly. I excused myself to the bathroom to be able to breathe. What is happening to me? I never felt my chest so heavy like this. I can't breathe yet I cannot get myself to touch her. If this were other women, I would have jumped right into her and ended the night tired in bed with her.

When I came out, she was already sleeping on the couch. She got up to tell me that I can sleep on the bed. No matter how ungentlemanly it may sound, I just said thank you and slept. I didn't to say anything more, afraid that I may say or do something improper. As usual, sleeping on her bed has given the most tranquil sleep.

Riiiing, riiiing... I woke up to the sound of my phone. I checked the bedside calendar clock, it's Sunday, 9:00 A.M. and Clarisse is calling. "Baby, where are you? I miss you already.", I heard Clarisse greet me on the other line. "I'm about to be ready for the day. Do you want to go out for lunch and a movie later?", I asked. But she had something else in mind, "No, just come over to my place and let's do something fun."

That's all I need from this deadly routine with Carmen and her friends. It's Sunday so Carmen will be going to her parents for lunch. It means I'm free so I freshened up, excitedly run downstairs, said my goodbyes and rushed to Clarisse's house for the fun part. Sexy time coming up!!!