The Ring of Fire & Serpents

Chapter Eleven - The Five Stages of Grief: Stage One - Denial

Laura’s POV…

It’s now four o’clock in the morning, and I have driven all around searching for Sophia. I can’t accept the fact that someone could have her. She must be having car trouble or something. Maybe she is just lost. Wherever you are, Sophia, momma will find you, baby.

I turn right down Maple as I enter the edge of town and pull into the driveway of our house. The lights are on in the house; Savannah must still be awake.

I hop out of the car and enter through the front door of the house. I find Savannah lying on the sofa curled up in an afghan. She quickly sits up, “Momma, did you find her?” she asks with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

I lower my head, “No, but I will find her. I will… This can’t be…No… I won’t accept it.” I mumble as I walk over to hang up my purse and keys near the door.

She jumps up and approaches me, wrapping the afghan around her small frame, “What are you talking about, momma?”

I spin around, “Nothing…it’s nothing.”

She reaches out and grabs my shoulder, “No, momma! Please don’t keep me in the dark. What are you thinking?”

I cover my face with my hands. I’m exhausted, but my brain is going one hundred miles a minute,” There have been reports of teenagers going missing in the area. Not Sophia…nope. I hear about this on the news, but this kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me… to us…to her….no…I can’t accept it.”

Her eyes grow wide, tears well in her eyes, “Oh momma….”

I raise my hand to her, “No! We are not thinking the worst. This is Sophia. Get some rest because tomorrow first thing, we are going out looking for her. Keep your phone charged in case she calls you.” I tell her.

She nods, “Okay, it’s charged.”

I sigh audibly as it dawns on me, “f**k! I have to call your father. That is not going to be a fun conversation.”

“Do you want me to?” she asks.

I shake my head, “No… I have to be the one to call. I’ll do it in the morning.”

She walks towards her room with her head down, “Goodnight, momma.” She mumbles as she enters the doorway.

I walk past her towards my room, “Goodnight.” I reply. My voice is raspy.

As I walk inside, I turn and close the door behind me. Leaning up against the door, I slowly slide down to the floor.  How can I possibly sleep knowing that my baby is still out there? What if she is scared?

My stomach turns as I sit with my back against the door, legs bent, staring at the clock on the wall. The sound it makes as each second passes…tick…tock…tick…tock.  I can never get them back those seconds that pass, but I don’t know what else I can do. I scoured the area from Casey’s house to our house. I’m sure the police are already out patrolling the streets looking for her as well. Oh my God! Oh my God! Why is this happening?

Reluctantly, I pull myself up off the floor. I peel my clothes off, toss them into the hamper, and then slip on my nightgown before crawling into bed.

I need to sleep a couple of hours to go out looking for her again first thing in the morning. I reach over on my nightstand and place my mask over my eyes. Maybe I’ll wake up from this nightmare, and she will be home in her own bed in the morning.

After about an hour of tossing and turning, counting sheep, and praying to the sleep gods, I finally pass out until Savannah barges into my room, “Momma.” She whispers.

Startled, I sit up and pull the mask up on my forehead, “What? What is it?!”

“It’s seven o’clock, momma. I can’t sleep. I’m too worried about Soph,” She mumbles as she crawls in bed next to me, under the comforter.

I cover my face with my hands, “Oh God. I was hoping that was just a bad dream.”

She pulls the comforter over her face, “I wish it were.” She replies. Her voice is raspy.

I lean over and reach for my phone on the nightstand. I need to get this over with, “I have to call your father now. He needs to know what is going on.”

She pulls the comforter down to her chin and gazes up at me with those apologetic eyes. She knows this will not be a pleasant conversation.

I search through the contacts and dial Steven’s number. My heart is pounding as it begins to ring. I can feel the bile rising in my throat when he answers, “Hello? Laura?”

“Yes, Steven, it’s me. I know it’s early; I’m sorry.”

He clears his throat, “Is everything okay?”

I glance over at Savannah, “Well…I don’t know…something happened last night.”

It’s silence on the other end. I listen and wait for a few seconds before proceeding, “Steven, are you there?” I ask.

“Yes, I’m here. I’m listening and waiting for you to spit it out. What happened, Laura?” He blurts out with a snarky undertone.

I can’t help but roll my eyes, “Soph didn’t come home last night.”

“What??!!” he yells.

Savannah sits up, tears welling in her eyes. I reach over and brush the loose strands of hair from her face to comfort her, “I looked for her until about four o clock, and the police have been called, so don’t go and do that. I already took care of it.”

I listen closely as I can hear a woman’s voice in the background. He quietly mumbles something to her before responding to me. The pain in my heart is sharp when I hear her voice, and it cuts through me like a knife. I attempt to shake it off. I can’t think about it right now, “What the hell was she doing, Laura?!” He demands.

“I allowed for her and Savannah to attend a party at one of their friend's houses on the outskirts of town. The curfew was midnight for both. Sophia didn’t feel well and asked for Savannah to take her home at ten o’clock, but Savannah said she didn’t want to leave because she was having fun, so she gave the keys to her Camry to Soph. The car is gone, and so is Sophia.” I reply, my voice raspy as tears begin to well in my eyes. The more I tell him, the more I feel like a failure of a parent to have let this happen.

“God damn it! Laura, this is not okay. Sophia is just sixteen years old. She is in an unfamiliar town, and she should not have been driving that late by herself. I blame you for this! You should have known better! Why didn’t you just drop them off? Never mind! I’m going to take the day off and come down there to help find her. I’m going to fix this like I do everything else! Tell Savannah to pack her bags. She’s coming back with me! When I find Sophia, she’s coming back as well! Do you hear me?!”

Savannah shakes her head, “No, Daddy! I’m not living there with you and that nasty woman!” she yells into the phone.

I raise my hand and place it on her shoulder to calm her, “Steven, I'm not getting into this with you. You know darn well that these girls will not live with you when you have your mistress living there and sleeping in our bed.”

“I’m their father, and I say what goes! Especially since their mother can’t even function enough to parent them adequately!”

Frustrated, I yank the mask off my forehead and throw it on the bed, “That is enough! You don’t get to speak to me that way anymore! Those days are long gone! You can come if you want and help find her, but these girls WILL NOT go home with you! Do you hear me, Steven?!”

He sneers, “We will see about that!”

I quickly hang up the phone. I can not deal with him degrading me as a parent, especially when I know that the skag is right next to him as he does it. The most important thing right now is finding Sophia. This can’t be a pissing contest between him and myself! I jump up off the bed; my cheeks are red hot as I feel my blood begin to boil, “Ugh! That man is maddening!” I blurt out as I rush over to my dresser to grab some clothes to throw on.

“Momma, I’m not going back home with him,” Savannah tells me.

I begin to throw on a pair of khaki shorts under my nightgown before peeling it off. Then I slip on a t-shirt, “You don’t have to; you are an adult, sweetie. You get to decide where you want to be now; he can’t decide that for you. Now hurry up and get dressed because momma needs your help finding Soph.” I respond.

She jumps up and dashes into her room without hesitation. I grab my brush and quickly run it through my hair before rushing to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

After Savannah quickly gets ready, we run outside, jump into the car and take off down the road to begin searching for Sophia. I have to keep telling myself…We will find her! It's going to be okay...