Not Another Broken Doll

Chapter 17

 Ingrid waited for them at the airport. It was Friday morning and she looked like someone who needed a drink more than a coffee. They said their good-byes with Alaistar and took Ruth home. She told her that the case had been slightly mentioned by the media earlier on the week, but they had let it go.

“Juan was there” Ruth said.

“And?” Ingrid asked as she parked her old Volkswagen a few meters away from the building door.

“He can rot in his own personal hell, too” Ruth said as she got off the car.

“That’s only fair” Ingrid agreed. “Oh yes, I got you some tops. I figured you would’ve been busy to even remember about trivial things in life such as clothes shopping for a date with a hot guy.”

“How do you even manage to keep on track with everything you still have to do before tomorrow? You’re impossible” Ruth laughed. She was glad that Ingrid still kept her grounded enough not to miss on anything that would make of hers a normal life.

“Oh, it was fun. Hannah came along” She explained. “That Marco guy needs to check his priorities, doesn’t he?”

“You don’t know the half of it” Ruth agreed. They went into the building as the chilled air pushed their hair in the wind.

Sat at her desk in her room, Ruth felt safe. She took her phone out and called Hannah first. She was happy to have her back in town, but she was still covering her for the day, so she did not have to worry about going to work at all. Hannah sounded much better than last time they talked. Being busy kept her in a better mind frame. She took a look at the bags Ingrid had left on her bed and she took her phone out again. She called Chris.

“Moin” he said on the other side.

“Moin” she answered. “I’m home. Everything went fine.”

“That is good to know” Chris said. “So, what is the plan?”

“I was thinking lunch?” Ruth said. She surprised herself at the answer she gave. She did not know how much she missed having that new routine in place the two days she was away.

“It’s eleven now, and we are kind of swamped here. Come by later?” He asked.

“Sure” she answered. “See you later.”

Ruth put her phone down and stared at it for a brief moment. She was astonished when she realised she had actually missed Chris, and the way he made her feel normal. She wondered if this was a sign she was making progress towards becoming a better self. She looked at herself in the mirror and noticed how tired she was. It was the sort of exhaustion that couldn’t be cured with a nap. She had put on a farce every day to keep life going, and now life was making her question if she could keep it up for much longer. Pretending to be a functional adult was hard work. She decided she would give this chance a shot, and she had to begin with making some basic choices.

She took off the bag the tops that Ingrid and Hannah had selected for her and she tried them on. The first one was sequins, and she was going to catch her death before being seen wearing that. The second one was a simpler button up shirt with some black and white printing. She was comfortable in it, but the white pattern was lace and it revealed too much of her tattoo. She thought she could wear it with a top underneath, maybe. Then she looked at the bottom of the bag and she found a third top, black velvet with a risen neck and short sleeves. She had never used velvet out of her own choosing before, but when she looked at herself in the mirror, she felt pretty. The soft fabric hugged her skin in the right places and covered everything she needed it to cover.

She took her phone out and took a picture of her own reflection. She had been avoiding pictures for a long time, so she felt good to be in control of her own image for a change. She looked at it and she could see how much she looked like her mother right then. Maybe Alaistar was right, and it was about time she stopped hiding from the world and started doing something to improve it. She turned her laptop on and started typing her name on the search bar. She was done with hiding who she had become. It was time to check what the world had made of her.