Tears of love

6. Awkwardness.

CHAPTER 6: Awkwardness.

It’s been a week since what happened with Jeremy, and he still hasn’t had the decency to face me—even for a simple hello.

I think it’s the longest he’s ever gone without coming over, and me without going to his house. Tyler seems confused by our strange behavior, but thank God he hasn’t asked about it.

It’s weird how you can be mad at someone and still miss them.

And at the same time, I feel like an i***t. I wish I could get rid of this power he has over me—these painful feelings that have been hurting me for years. But I can’t. I just can’t.

Why?

Why can’t I just love someone else?

Why does my heart cling to someone who only hurts me with his indifference?

As I finish breakfast, a sigh of sadness escapes me. Today is my first day at university. I’ve been waiting for this day with so much excitement, but now that it’s here, it’s being overshadowed by a cloud of gloom—brought on by Jer.

I try to count how many times my unrequited feelings have ruined special moments in my life, but that list would only make me sadder. So I shake my head and push the thought away.

I climb the stairs two at a time, grab my bag and camera, and once I have everything ready, I yell for my brother. When he doesn’t answer, I open his bedroom door without permission.

A towel hangs low around his waist, showing off muscles that could intimidate anyone—but not me. I laugh out loud when he frowns at me.

“Can you drive me to uni, Ty?”

My brother lets out a deep groan.

“For the tenth time, I told you I have classes at the other campus. Jeremy’s taking you,” he says, pulling a T-shirt over his head.

“What?” I blink, confused.

Jeremy?

“He told me yesterday he could drive you whenever you needed,” Tyler says, still looking at me like I’m the weird one. “What?” he asks when I just stare at him.

“You’re serious?”

“Why would I lie?” He digs through his closet and pulls out a pair of pants. Then he turns to me, grins mischievously, and lets the towel drop.

I scream instantly, covering my eyes.

“Tyler!”

“Don’t be stupid, I’m not naked,” he says, laughing.

I grumble and peek through my fingers—he’s wearing boxers.

“So… Jeremy’s driving me?” I ask as he pulls his pants on.

“Why do you sound so shocked? You know Jeremy does whatever you want.” He shakes his head, like it’s one of life’s greatest mysteries. “If he doesn’t, then take the bus. I don’t get why you’d turn him down anyway. Which brings me to my question—did you two fight or something?”

“Why do you ask?”

Tyler runs a hand through his hair, leaning toward the mirror on his dresser before meeting my eyes.

“I know you guys think I’m an i***t, but I’m not.”

“Tyler…”

“You’ve gone a week without talking. Why?”

I stare at him, then remember his weak spot and throw the ball back at him.

“A week?” I pretend to think. “Oh! You mean since that night at the club when you and Sadie left together looking very cozy? I wonder what happened after those spicy wings made you both so hot and bothered.”

“What are you implying?” he squints at me.

“I know you guys think I’m an i***t, but I’m not,” I say, repeating his own words.

My brother crosses his arms, glaring. He tries to look intimidating, but he forgets I’m the one he used to crawl into bed with during thunderstorms, begging me to protect him from the lightning.

I know all his fears and phobias—I’ve seen him at his weakest. Does he really think he can intimidate me?

I snort.

“Whatever.”

He brushes past me, sits on the bed, and starts putting on his shoes. “It’s your business why you two fought, but let him drive you. You’ll be late if you take the bus.”

I glance at the clock and curse.

He’s right.

“As for Sadie…” he adds, looking at me sideways. “Shut your mouth, sis. Nothing happened. I just drove her home and came back here to sleep—alone.”

I know. Sadie told me, and she never lies to me.

“Can’t you really drive me to uni?” I ask, swallowing my pride a little. It’s painful to beg my big brother for a favor—really painful. But the other option, going with Jeremy, doesn’t sound appealing at all.

He just looks at me, shakes his head, and goes back to his shoes like I never said a thing.

Idiot.

I leave his room and head downstairs, then go straight to the house next door—for the first time in a week. I don’t even have time to ring the bell; Jeremy opens the door before I can.

“Rora,” he sighs my name. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

I stare at him, feeling awkward.

My thumb plays with the strap of my camera—I don’t know what to say.

What do you say to a guy after what happened between you?

“Come on, I’ll drive you,” he says, walking toward his car.

Just like that, the tension between us eases a little as I get in.

“Nervous?” he asks, glancing at me as he drives.

“A little,” I admit. “I don’t know anyone.”

“You’ve got me,” he murmurs.

“We don’t share classes, Jeremy.”

“Fair point.”

From the corner of my eye, I catch him looking at my bare legs before he quickly shakes his head and focuses on the road again.

“Do our schedules match?” I ask, curious.

“No idea. Tyler told me you start at eight, so I offered to drive you,” he says, sounding distracted. “What time do you finish?”

“Twelve,” I reply, looking out the window again.

“I’m done at twelve too. I can pick you up. Tell me which classroom you’ll be in.”

I mumble the answer without looking at him, and we don’t talk again for the rest of the ride.

It’s an uncomfortable silence that makes me want to crawl out of my skin. For as long as I can remember, there’s never been an awkward silence between us—never this tension, this weird negative charge that keeps me from even looking him in the eye.

I hate it.

So when he finally parks at the university lot, I mumble a quick “thanks” and reach for the door.

“Rora.”

My name sounds fragile on his lips—soft and breaking.

I turn to look at him.

“Don’t do this to me,” he says, eyes glinting with pain. “I don’t want to lose you. I couldn’t stand it.”

“I think you’re right,” I sigh. “Nothing should’ve happened that night. I don’t know what we were thinking, Jeremy. Things are weird now—uncomfortable. This isn’t us.”

He exhales shakily and nods, watching me carefully, like he’s afraid I’ll bolt and never talk to him again.

“Let’s forget that night, okay?” I surprise myself by being the one to say it, but I know it’s the best thing to do.

I don’t like this awkwardness between us—I can’t stand it.

Jeremy nods, and gently, eyes locked on mine, he leans forward and pulls me into a hug.

I close my eyes, pressing my nose to his shoulder, breathing him in. At the same time, I feel him inhale the scent of my hair, his fist curling into it to pull me closer.

“It’s the first time we’ve gone this long without talking, Rora, and I hated it,” he murmurs. “It was the worst week of my life, butterfly. Please—let’s not fight again. Not like that.”

His words wrap around my heart like a warm blanket, and I find myself nodding, smiling into his shirt.

When I pull back, he smiles at me and cups my cheek, wiping away a tear I didn’t even notice.

He gives me a small, shy smile, kisses my forehead, and opens the door for me.

“Go,” he whispers. “Don’t be late for your first day.”

I laugh softly, because he’s right. I will be late if I don’t hurry. So I hop out and rush toward my building.

My first class is Introduction to Photographic Design. There, I meet two people I instantly click with—Amy, a wild pink-haired girl, and Theo, a guy covered in piercings and tattoos. Class flies by because they’re both hilarious, and I’m thrilled when we discover we share most of our courses.

When I walk into the second classroom of the day, I freeze at the sight of a familiar pair of dark eyes and black hair.

“Ryan?” I ask, smiling.

His eyes widen in surprise, then he gives me that perfect, dazzling grin.

“Well, what a surprise—you’re my classmate.”

I smile back, feeling a small spark of warmth.

Yeah.

I like college.