The voice in my head

Can’t help but be a freak

(Michaela’s POV)

As i sit in homeroom daydreaming , only 3 more weeks of school and less than 1 week before my birthday and then maybe i can get away. Start fresh where no one knows me as the crazy girl with the voices in her head…

(Flashback)

Yay mom it’s my 15th birthday and i can’t believe i get to wear this beautiful dress tonight at my party. Mom hugs me tight, even though i was adopted as a baby and she had my sister Sienna after me she has never treated us differently. She’s gone to such trouble to plan this big party for me tonight and everyone in my grade will be there! Even Eric, maybe this will be the night he notices me!

After my hair appointment mom and i rush home to get me dressed and i feel pain in my head like I’ve never felt before. I hear a voice telling me it’s ok and that her name was Athena. I shake it off and take some Tylenol. Athena hmmm wait that is familiar. I yell to mom “hey mom what was the name of my imaginary friend i used to tell you about” mom thinks for a bit and scrunches her nose as this isn’t a subject she likes after many years of therapy and medications to try to help me with some of the odd things I’ve done since i came to live with her… “it was Athena dear, why?”

Oh no reason i shake it off and continue to get ready. In all my chaos of getting ready today, i didn’t take my regular medicines. The ones they had me take to stop the voice.

Upon arriving to the party hall everything looked perfect! It was all decorated in greens, my favorite color and touches of gold. Everyone stops and stares as i walk in but thankfully the music starts so we all begin to dance.

I’ve never had a lot of friends because my behaviors early on before we found the right doctor and medicines concerned people. But mom wanted this day to be special so she encouraged me to invite the whole grade and some of my sister Sienna’s friends since she was only a year younger. I was dancing with my sister and my best friend Melissa and a few others when we noticed the guys had danced up near us. I was so happy to see Eric there i didn’t even notice where i was going and I backed up and bumped hard, right into Kelli. I didn’t really want to invite her because she’s always been so mean but the whole grade was invited so i had no choice.

(Kelli’s POV)

Geez Michaela what kind of dancing is that. You look like some sort of uncoordinated orangutan. Everyone has now stopped to watch the exchange and i am loving the red shade of Michaela’s face.

(Michaela’s POV)

I’m standing here in the middle of the dance floor with everyone watching as Kelli berates me and makes fun of me yet again. She puts her hand on my dress front flipping at the rhinestone detail insulting it’s quality she laughs and says “geez look at this what did your mom bedazzle this with her eyes closed” something inside of me started to heat up, it was like a tension that’s been building for years grew and burned it’s way up through my body. In a wave of prickling heat every hair on my body rose and a voice i didn’t recognize as my own came out of me “listen b***h why don’t you get away from Michaela and get a life” . Then as if I had no control my arm flailed up and smacked her arm away from my dress and I left 4 long scratches down her arm. She screamed and clutched her arm and everyone around crowded around to check on her. They all started making comments about me “did you hear her talk about herself in third person” “what a freak pretending to be someone else” “did you see her eyes they went black for a second” “I seriously thought she was going to kill someone” “let’s get out of here before her head spins and she tries to kill us all” As they’re all saying these things, people start leaving. My parents are tending to the bleeding on Kelli’s arm knowing her parents aren’t going to be happy and Eric just looked at me shaking his head. And that was it, everyone left. I pretty much have kept to myself since. Except my sister and my friend Melissa no one wanted to deal with the crazy girl.

My home room teacher called my name and i guess i was so dazed thinking back to that night i didn’t hear her, “Miss Quinn, hello, are you with us?” Everyone burst out laughing and i just shrunk down lower into my chair trying to be invisible. I just can’t help but act like a freak all the time, ugh Michaela be normal i internally scold myself. “You were not born to be normal dear” damn it, the voice again and i know i took my meds this am. Why is this happening to me????