Porch Light

Chapter 3: Hector’s Mismatched Socks

I staggered through the door, not even sure I was in the right place. Casey shushed me while giggling. We’d gone hard, closed the bar down. I was going to feel this later. Good thing I switched shifts with Heather.

“Babe? Is that you?” Hector walked out into the living room in his underwear, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He had a black sock with blue stripes on one foot, and a sock that read Running Late Again on it on the other. Bastard.

“Hey, Hec. Lookin’ good!” Casey nudged me and whispered loudly. “You never told me he was packing a beer can!”

I pressed my finger to his lips, missing and poking his nose. “Oops! Sorry. But no talking about my boyfriend’s d**k. That’s gay. And you’re straight. Even though you, like, basically told my parents you were my boyfriend.”

“I told you, no I’m not…no I didn’t!” We stumbled in, onto the sofa, where Casey sat down hard, scooting it back a couple inches. “I said I supported you, not that I was f*****g you! Besides, my d**k’s longer than his.”

Hector watched all this with his arms crossed over his chest. “You guys can sleep on the bed in the guest room. Oh, that’s right, we don’t have a guest room because it’s being used for storage. Then Junior comes with me and you can stay here on the couch.”

“Nnnno!” Casey stood up and threw his shirt off, crossing his arms and trying to match Hector’s stance. I looked between the two of them, suddenly incredibly turned on. “I’m the big spoon. We can all fit in your bed.”

Hector looked disgusted. “You’re not sleeping in our bed with us.”

“I need him, Hec. I came out to my parents tonight and it…it sucked balls. Not good balls. Bad balls.”

Hector’s eyes widened. “You did? Why didn’t you call me? I would have been there for you!”

I grabbed Casey around the waist, causing him to stumble until his crotch was pressed right into my face. I turned him so my head rested on his thigh. “I had Casey. I was okay.”

Hector grabbed a jacket off the back of the chair and threw it at my face.

“Hey!”

“You asshole! All this time, and you chose Casey to be there? We’ve been together for two f*****g years! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

I pulled Casey down to sit on the sofa and stood up as best I could. “I’m not…an asshole! Casey’s been my f*****g friend for over twenty f*****g years. Don’t throw s**t at me, you…you b***h!”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re f*****g drunk. I’m not doing this when you’ve been drinking.”

“Naw, let’s! It’s the only time I’m honest, apparently. f**k you and your socks! You do it on purpose to piss me off! And you’re selfish! You never help me c*m! Just because you have a big d**k doesn’t mean you have to be one!”

Casey slapped my ass. “Good one, Nicky!”

I waved his hand away and continued.

“And I finally came out! I thought you’d be happy! But you’re never happy! Bah! And we got a record offer tonight! That’s right! And you weren’t there because you wanted to go to that f*****g drag show. We could’ve celebrated tonight. You could’ve been there. But you don’t support me. You just push me. And I’m sick of being pushed! You pusher!”

Hector stood there, eyes wide as I told him off. I’d been frustrated with him before, but I’d never called him names, and I’d never yelled at him. Here I was, doing both. And…enjoying it.

“You don’t love me for you. I mean me. You love me for who you want me to be. I’m never gonna be that person, so just…stop it! And I can hang out with Casey all I want! I love Casey! He’s been there for me through it all, not just the last two years! So there!”

Hector opened his mouth to speak, but I grabbed the jacket and threw it back at him. He caught it.

“Now…go to bed. Casey and I will sleep…wherever we want to sleep…except the bed, ‘cause you’re there. But I’m not sleeping in the same bed with you! You! And your mishmashed socks! Your f*****g socks! Goddammit!”

And I sat down on Casey by accident. I scooted over and he had to pry his hand out from under me. Then he put his arm around me in solidarity. “What Nick said. And don’t call him babe. He hates it. And he told you, and you still do it. You mismatched bastard.”

Hector stood there for one more moment before he turned and stomped away, slamming the bedroom door a moment later.

I turned to Casey and gave him a big kiss on the lips, which he returned by putting both hands on the side of my head. After a moment, I pulled away.

“Sorry.”

He lightly stroked my cheek with his thumb. “Don’t be. I’m just so proud of you. You came out to your parents. You stood up to them. You told them who you were, and you didn’t back down. I just love you so much.”

And he kissed me again, more deeply. It was like his soul was on his lips, and he was sharing it with me. I moaned slightly in protest, but gave in. After a while—during which time my hands moved progressively lower on his body until I was rubbing his thighs—we broke apart, Casey’s eyes still closed.

“I like kissing you.” He muttered it softly.

“Hm?” I wasn’t sure I heard him right.

He didn’t say anything, but let out a slight snore. He was asleep.

I scooted forward on the couch, allowing him room to lie down. Then I folded myself into his arms and took solace in the one man I knew truly cared about me.

I woke up some time later while it was still dark. Casey was still lightly snoring behind me, his hand resting on my hip. I had to pee.

I stood and stumbled into the hallway toward the bathroom. I heard a noise coming from the bedroom. It sounded like a zipper. And sniffling.

I gently eased open the bedroom door and found Hector, still in his underwear, but packing a bag and crying. I felt a pang of guilt in my heart. I was also a sympathetic crier, so I started to tear up immediately.

“Hec…”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now. I just need some space and some time to think.”

I sighed, feeling a lot more sober than before. “I understand. I’m…I’m sorry I unloaded on you like that. I don’t ever want to hurt your feelings.”

He looked up from his bag, glaring.

“Okay. I’ll leave you alone.”

I went into the bathroom, feeling utterly miserable. After I peed, I went back to lay on the couch, only to find Casey had shifted and was now taking up the whole thing.

Just as I was thinking about what to do, Hector came out of the bedroom, fully clothed and carrying his bag.

“Hec, you don’t have to leave tonight.”

“Oh, but I really do. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.”

I sighed at the dig, but let him walk out the door.

What if it was over? No, it couldn’t be. Not after two years. We’ll work this out.

I let out a soft moan. My head. I went into the kitchen and downed some painkillers and water before going into the bedroom and curling up on the bed. I sent off a text to my hotel manager, letting her know I had switched with Heather before falling asleep again.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of someone in the kitchen and the smell of bacon.

I rolled out of bed, looking at myself in the mirror before making my way into the too-bright kitchen.

Casey was there, whisking eggs in a pan while watching the bacon cook. He was still shirtless. He wasn’t very hairy on his upper half. He had a nice line of hair on his stomach that led down to his unmentionables. His legs were pretty hairy, though. He looked good.

“Morning.”

He looked up and gave a half grin. “Morning, you rabble rouser. How’d you sleep?”

“Surprisingly well for someone who lost his family and his boyfriend in one night.” I couldn’t help but let it get to me, and the tears started to fall again.

“Hey, hey, hey. Come here.” Casey strode forward and pulled me into his body. I sniffled, the top of my head just coming up to his lips. He twisted and turned a little, almost rocking me as we embraced. “Your family and your boyfriend will come around. Your family for sure, especially your mom. Well, and honestly maybe Hector won’t come around. But would that be so bad? Then you could be with someone better for you.”

“The only one who’s been there for me more than Hector is you, Case. And you’re off-limits.”

He laughed and kissed my forehead. “Yeah, I know. Hey, let me finish making us some breakfast. Is Hector at work?”

“No. He left this morning while you were sleeping.”

Casey shook his head and released me. “Maybe you’re better off, then. Seriously, the complaints you have about him are totally valid.”

“I know.” I grabbed the plastic fork and began to pull the bacon out of the pan. Casey liked his bacon black. I liked mine still oinking. “But the complaints he likely has about me are totally valid, too.”

“What, that you didn’t go to some drag show? Sorry, but real artists don’t just lip sync to the words of a song. It takes more to be a performer than to put on thirty pounds of makeup, tuck your d**k inside yourself, and put on a ridiculous outfit.”

“Drag is a real art form. I’ve seen some amazing performances on videos.”

We continued talking about drag as we finished making breakfast. Then we sat down at the table. I heaved a contented sigh.

“By the way, you totally kissed me last night.”

Casey looked up from his scrambled eggs, unsurprised. “I kiss you when I’m drunk all the time.”

“Yeah, but this was…you said you liked kissing me.”

He frowned and smiled. “I did? Huh. Maybe I was thinking about some woman. I was super wasted.”

“…yeah.”

We finished breakfast in silence. I started doing the dishes while Casey hopped in the shower. It was amazing to me how comfortable Casey could become in his surroundings. He just used what he wanted. Like, cooking breakfast. He used our food. Sure, it was nice. I didn’t know if I was annoyed or not.

Then, he left. Said he was going to make a few phone calls to get someone to look over the contract once we got it.

I lounged around the rest of the day, doing some little cleaning here and there. I dusted in the living room and did a few loads of laundry. I found myself smelling one of Hector’s shirts. What if we didn’t work things out? I was mad, but I couldn’t tell whether I was mad at myself or at him. I’d hurt him, and I knew it. But did I really think he deserved all that?

I sat down and plugged in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’d slowly been working my way through the series again. Of course, I just happened to be on the fifth season, where Riley finally left Buffy. I watched as she yelled out to him and he flew away in the helicopter.

Was I Riley? Or was I Buffy? Was I going to try and get Hector back, running as fast as I could, desperate to keep him in my life? Or was I going to not look back, and simply let the relationship die?

Two years. I’d invested a lot in this relationship. But I suddenly found myself feeling…free. Was that what it was? Is that why I wasn’t more upset?

Was I free?