Seduction Part One

Chapter Two

Auburn lived a rough childhood. She had some friends, but she was always the “mother” of the group. She was the one giving them advice, keeping them out of trouble, and protecting them. She made sure they were always taken care of. Of course, she never looked at what she really wanted in life because she always looked at what others wanted first. She felt that she was already broken so why would it matter to her what she really wanted. 

Her father never wanted her. He always pushed her aside. She was a good kid until her parents got divorced. That was when she started changing due to she did not know how to react to this occurring. She had lost her mother and she blamed her father for it all. She hated her father. She knew that was the reason her mom walked out on her. She saw her father do her mother wrong and she resented it. 

Auburn had to stay with her father. Her dad was not the worse person in the world. But she saw him as that. She had tried to find ways to get out; any chance that she could just to get away from him but instead she found guys that was exactly like her father. They always say that you will marry a man like your father and that is what she did twice. She tried to find men to make her happy and to give her attention that she never got. 

She would trust these guys and would think that she is in love with them. But, in reality, they would use her for what they wanted and then break her heart and leave her looking like a w***e. She had a heart of gold. She cared too much and trusted too easily that it caused her more grief. She would do anything for anyone and go out of her way for anyone to make them happy even if that meant to make her suffer. But, doing this made bad things happen to her. 

 Her first love was with a boy name Seward. She had met him at church. She thought he was a great guy. He was 2 years older than her, and she believed anything he said to her. It was like she worshipped the ground he walked on. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. He always wore his hair slicked back. And he had a way with words. He could say anything to her, and she would follow him. She liked how he talked to her and how he treated her. Everyone told her that he was no good, but she would not listen to them. She thought he was the greatest person in the world. 

Auburn let Seward talk her into leaving church and running off together all the time. They would go into alleys or anywhere secluded just to be alone. They would go and make out. She even let him touch her in places that no one should touch a 10-year-old girl in. Yes, she was still a virgin, but she let him put his hands down her pants all the time. She loved the way it made her feel when he rubbed on her c**t and when he would stick his finger in her wet p***y. She would let him finger her anywhere and at any time. She probably would have let him f**k her, but something always told her no. 

Then one night on the fourth of July, she was so sick. She was supposed to go with her sister and friends out but because of her not feeling good she stayed home. Seward called her and dared her to walk to his house in the middle of the night. She never backed down from a dare so of course she agreed to it. She did it and walked 10 miles to his house at midnight. When she got there, she tapped on a window that he told her to tap on. 

But it was a trap. She actually did not know whose window she tapped on but woke someone up and then she tried to run but the person came outside with a loaded gun and pulled it on her. It was dark so they could not see her face. She had panicked and she did not know what to do. They told her to stop and turn around and walk closer to them slowly. When she did, the man had seen her face and knew who she was. Her stomach was in knots. He realized that she was a child and so he lowered his gun. 

He asked her, “Why are you here at this time of night?” 

She responded, “I was dared by Seward to come here at midnight.” 

He said, “Seward set you up. He told us that he thought you were a robber and we have already called the cops.” 

“Well, I’m not a robber. I had just followed his dare and walked all these miles to see him.”

“Don’t you ever listen to Seward again. He is nothing but trouble and you are better than that. Now you are going to be arrested.”

Auburn was so scared. She had never done anything like this in her life. She was always a good kid and stayed out of trouble. Her heart was breaking, and this was when she had started to realize no man should ever be believed or trusted. This was the start of a long life of believing this… her only problem is she still had a heart of gold. 

When the cops showed up, they arrested her for trespassing, carrying cigarettes, and breaking curfew but Seward’s parents told the officer that they did not want her arrested and charged with all that, so they let it go down to just breaking curfew. The officer took her back to her dad who was of course upset with her. He told the cops okay and took Angela in the house.

He sat her down and asked her, “What were you doing with the cigarettes and where did you get them?” 

She replied, “I took them from you and what do you use them for?”

He had nothing else to say except for her to go to bed. He felt that she had learned enough being arrested to even punish her. But what really hurt Auburn was that she had hurt her sister. Her sister, Flore had come home and found her gone. She was so scared and upset with this that she started panicking and looking all over the house for her. But when Auburn was not there… she did not know what to do.

Her dad ended up paying a fine for her being arrested. He asked her why she did it but she never would say. She just told him that she would never do it again. He knew she meant it. She was done with trusting guys. So she was going to make sure that she never got in trouble like that again for her sister’s sake. 

A few days later, Angela’s friend, Nome who lived in a different apartment then hers had come to her house and told her that she needed to come out because someone was there to see her. She knew that it was Seward. She told Nome to tell him to go away and leave her alone. She never wanted to see him again. Nome left and came back in 10 minutes and told her that Seward says he really needs to talk to her. This time she was prepared to stand up to him. She was not going to let those eyes get the best of her. So, she left her house and followed Nome to Seward.

When Auburn saw Seward, she told him, “What do you want?”

Seward said,” Listen I know you are mad at me, and I don’t blame you at all. I’m sorry for what I did. Please forgive me.”

“Why? You had me arrested. You had a gun pulled on me. My sister was upset about me being gone. Why should I forgive you? All you are is a cold-hearted asshole who deserves nothing more than to rot.”

“You’re right. I am. I was high on every drug you can think of except for the one with the needles. I hate needles. I did hurt you and your family very much. I just wanted to tell you the truth and apologize. I know that is not going to make anything better, but I felt that you deserved the truth at least. I am leaving and I will never bother you again.”

He stared into her eyes, and she knew he was not lying. He had lied to her about the drugs, about the dare, and for once he was telling her the truth. Should she forgive him and give him another chance? She did think about it but then she told him, “Go f**k yourself. You are nothing but problems. I hope you clean up your life. I do thank you for telling me the truth but other than that we are done with.” Then she turned around and walked out of his life for good. She thought that it would hurt her, but it felt so good to just walk away. She knew she never loved him. And to hurt him the way that he did to her was so sweet. She enjoyed that feeling for this was the one thing that made her happy. 

 Auburn did not know how to express her emotions. Her dad would always tell her to hold it in and to stay strong, so she wrote poems to express her feelings. She had written a few for Seward to get him out of her head because she still longed for him. Maybe it was due to the way he made her p***y feel. But whatever the reason was, she had to get him out of her head. 

So, she wrote one called “Why?”

Why do you hate me?

Why do you love me? 

Please make up your mind,

Or I’m leaving you.

You love me then you hate me,

Can’t understand your reasons why.

I might be annoying, I might be stupid,

But it’s the way that I am.

I can’t change myself to get hurt.

Why do you hate me?

Why do you love me?

You can’t be doing that

Cause I won’t accept it.

You hurt me then you lie to even hurt me more

Why do I bother with you?

You always want to get me in trouble.

Why do I stay with you?

Why do I put up with you?

This may be the last time you see me

Cause I’m leaving you, Goodbye!!

No coming back!!

Why?

But one poem was not enough to get him. She had to get all this anger out for him. She wrote another one that she made sure that he knew that he was the reason for all her anger and hurt. She even wrote it to him and told him to go to hell you son of a b***h. He was mad by it, but she did not care. It was called “I Used to”

I used to love and care for you,

That was until I got hurt.

I used to think you were special,

But I guess I was wrong.

I used to think you were sexy,

That was until I saw the whole side of you.

I used to love you,

That was until I got hurt.

I used to trust you,

Until I got walked on.

I used to do a lot of things,

That was until you broke my heart.

I used to be happy,

Until you used me.

I used to love and trust men,

That was until I met you.

I used to…

That last poem is what started her not trusting men. Seward was the cause of her wanting to get revenge on them. She thought that all men were just like him. So, she had to believe that they were. And she loved the revenge. She believed Seward through all the lies he told when he was high, she felt that she gave him a piece of her, and he threw it in her face. So, she had to think that all men were this way. So now we see the root of the problem that she had started. 

A few years past, Auburn dated guy after guy. She used them for what she wanted and then when she was tired of them, she threw them away like they were trash. She broke their hearts and made them hate her. She knew it was wrong but yet she did it anyways. She always thought of them all the same… like Seward. So, she was not going to let them hurt her again or even get too close to them. She had to protect herself. But she never showed anyone that she actually was hurt by hurting them. It tore her up inside knowing that she was doing these horrible things to them. But she kept it all together and made it look like it didn’t matter. 

But that was until she met Chandler that she had a change of heart. She tried to fight it, but she just could not resist him. His baby blue eyes were so beautiful that one look from him and she melted in his arms. And he treated her like his queen. He worshipped the ground she walked on. He was full of surprises, and he made sure everyone knew what his feelings were for her. He had long blonde hair and he was 2 years older than her. 

When she first met him, she was in the 6th grade. She met him through one of her best friends, Clifton. She went to Clifton’s birthday party which was in October, so it was a costume party and she dressed up like a vampire. When she got there, she was the only one mainly dressed up, but everyone loved her costume. She was in line to play a game and Chandler was behind her. He had reached up and poked her in her sides. Auburn jumped and turned around to see this very attractive older boy with these beautiful eyes and a smile on his face that made her want to laugh too. But she kept her composure and looked at him and said, “Don’t you ever do that again.” And he didn’t but she had to say it with a straight face which was really hard for her to do.

She only saw him at Clifton’s birthday parties every year for 2 years, so she got to know him. And the more she knew about him, the more she liked him. He drove her nuts but yet she still wanted him. She was just too afraid to tell him. She didn’t understand why. She was so used to getting what she wanted and letting people know when she wanted them and for her to be scared to tell Chandler was just a shock. She did not know what to do. She was so afraid that he would reject her. 

So finally, after her 8th grade year had started, she told Clifton what was going on. He told her to write Chandler a letter and that he would make sure that he got it. Clifton told her to tell him how she feels. She never understood why Clifton was trying to help her. But that story will come together later…. So, Auburn sat down one night and wrote Chandler a letter telling him everything…

“Dear Chandler, 

I don’t know if you remember me, but I always see you at Clifton’s birthday parties. We have known each other for 2 years now and we have a lot of fun together. You always pick on me. I have grown very fond of you, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I really like you and was wondering if you would ever be interested in dating me. If not, I understand and please just disregard this letter because I do not want it to make it different between us because I love being friends with you. Please let me know.

Yours Truly,

Auburn”

 Auburn waited for days and weeks waiting on the response from Chandler. She took this as a sign of being turned down by him. She started feeling sad and mortified because she had put herself out there and had gotten rejected. She was more upset then hurt about it. She had never been rejected so this was something new to her. How could someone reject her? She did not understand how this could be. Her getting rejected was the craziest thing she had ever known. 

Then the letter came in the mail. She was so excited that she did not care what it read just as long as she got something. So, she opened that letter and there was a beautiful smell to it. She had smelt this before, and she just knew it smelt like him. He had sprayed the letter with his cologne. She felt her heart beating so fast that she thought it was going to explode. As she opened up the letter, she has seen some beautiful drawings of roses in it. She did not know he could draw or even that well. That was when she read the letter, “Auburn, my darling white wolf,

I am so sorry it took so long for me to write you back. You see I was seeing someone else, but we have broken up. It is a long story, but the main thing is I broke up with her. Because that letter from you made me see what was truly important in my life… you. I do want to be with you. I have wanted to be with you when I first met you and poked you in your sides. I am deeply in love with you, and you take my breath away. So please accept this letter as a proposal for us to be dating. I want you to be my reason for getting up in the morning and I want you to be the reason for me to live every day. I want you by my side. Will you accept this? I look forward to your response. Love your knight wolf, Chandler.” 

Auburn could not wait to respond back to Chandler, but she felt that she owed him something more since he sent her drawings. So, it took her 2 weeks to write him back because she wanted to give him something special too. It took her that long to come up with a beautiful poem for him. So, she wrote him back, “Chandler, I was really nervous about getting your letter due to it took forever that I had though you rejected me. But when I got your letter, I did not know what to do. I read it and it made me really happy. I loved your beautiful drawings and that smell just took me back to being around you. I love it. So, since you probably want an answer from me… my answer is yes. You make me feel like a new person. You love me for me, and I do not half to hide myself. I love the way you make me feel. But I wanted to give you something else to show you my true feelings for you. So here are a few poems of how I feel. I hope you enjoy them. Love your little white wolf, Auburn.”

The first poem she sent him was called “I Wish”

I wish you were here

I wish you’d put me in a big 

Warm hug when I’m cold.

I wish you’d be mine forever

I wish you’d stay with me.

I wish you’d always hold me

Especially through the bad times

I wish you’d knew anything

And everything about me.

I wish we could be by each other 24-7

Maybe someday these things will happen,

Maybe they’re saying I wish

But there is one thing for sure

And that is I want you by my side now to forever

I want you to be mine forever

Even after I die

I want you to love me from now to forever

I love you, my baby

I wish we’d be together forever

I wish you’d love me forever

I wish….

Auburn wrote many more poems and so did he. They exchanged them back and forth throughout the summer. When school got back in session, Auburn had a surprise waiting for her. She rode the bus to school to find Chandler there waiting for her with a rose. She was so excited to see him that she cried. He kissed her with the first kiss they ever shared. It was so soft that you could barely feel their lips unite but so powerful that the world disappeared around them. 

Auburn looked forward to school every day knowing he was there waiting on her. But, when he didn’t show up, she was so upset that she just did not want to do anything. But that was when all the trouble started and that’s when it all fell apart…

Chandler was not in her school. He was older than her so coming onto school property during school hours was against the law. So, the school officials ended up catching him and arresting him for trespassing. Auburn couldn’t handle it. She blew up like she had never before. She lost control… the one thing that she knew she could never do or never let anyone get her this way, but she did. She was so upset that she got kicked out of school for the day. Her stepmom and father grounded her for the summer so this was the first summer she could not see Chandler.

Auburn hated not being able to see him. They still wrote to each other, but it was not enough. So, in July, Auburn started a marching band camp at her high school for her 9th grade year and Chandler surprised her showing up to it. She was so happy that she got to see him that she just wanted more of it. They both did not want to be apart from each other. So, when school started up, they would ditch school every day. 

One day she went to his friend’s house, and they made out. She wanted him like she never wanted anyone before. She wanted him to be her first. They would make out and end up naked next to each other but then Chandler would just stop. He wanted her just like she wanted him, but he just could not go through with it. They had tried several times. They would take showers together, skinny dip, and make out at his friend’s house in his top bunk bed every day but Chandler just could never go through with it. Auburn was devastated. She felt rejected. Why would this guy not follow through? Was she not attractive enough for him? She never understood it. 

But, then one day they ditched together and got caught by the cops. Chandler was arrested right in front of her. She had never seen Chandler cry until he was in handcuffs and sitting in the cop’s car. His mom told the cops she did not want him anymore and that she did not care where they sent her son, all she knew was that he was not coming back home. 

Auburn was so devastated. She stood there by the cop’s car and talked to Chandler. She told him what the cops had said, and he cried again. In that time, they both had lose everything. So that day the cops told him that he was being sent away to New York. Chandler looked at Auburn and said, “Promise me that you will wait for me. That you will not move on with your life and you will hold yourself for me when I come back to you.” Auburn started to cry and told him, “Chandler you are my life and I love you so much. I will wait for you. I don’t care how long it takes; I will be here when you get back. Please come home to me.” They kissed each other through the glass window their last kiss. But they did not realize that this was going to be the last kiss they will ever have. 

Auburn went home. She was so upset, she would not eat, could not sleep, and all she could do was think about Chandler. Everything that he gave her, she took it and kept it at her school because she was so afraid her father would find it and get rid of it for good. That was all she had left of Chandler, and she had to hold onto it for dear life until he came back to her. She realized then that she could not let herself get attached to someone ever again because she knew she would end up getting hurt. Why did she let him get so close? How could she trust a man the way she trusted Chandler? 

Auburn knew then she had to clean up her act. She slowly picked herself back up. 2 years when by and she didn’t hear anything from him that she slowly gave up on him. She tried to search for him, but she never could find him, so she knew she had to finally let him go. So, she went back to seducing men for what she wanted and then leaving them when she got tired of them. She had to protect herself from getting hurt the way she did with Chandler.