Chapter Two: Why We Rush Into Love
798 Words
I used to think love was urgent. That if I didn’t find someone early, I would miss out. Everyone around me seemed to have a boyfriend, so I thought I needed one too. And so, like many girls, I rushed.
But here’s the truth: when we rush into love, it’s rarely because we’re ready, it’s because of pressure, fear, or lies we tell ourselves.
At 17 or 18, you don’t want to be the only one in your circle without a story to tell. Everyone is talking about “bae,” posting couple pictures, celebrating anniversaries that are barely three months old. You feel left out.
You start to think, Maybe there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I’m behind.
So instead of focusing on your books, your dreams, your skills, you focus on finding someone. You want to belong, and belonging suddenly feels like being in a relationship.
But belonging to the wrong person will cost you more than being alone ever will.
As girls, we love attention. Compliments make us feel seen. A guy telling you “you’re beautiful” feels like a reward. And when you haven’t built deep self-worth yet, attention feels like love.
But attention isn’t love.
Attention is easy.
Love is costly.
Attention lasts as long as you’re exciting. Love lasts when everything else fades. But when you rush, you can’t see the difference. You mistake the two, and you give your heart away too cheaply.
The truth is, many of us are scared of being alone. We feel like if no one is calling us “baby” or texting us good morning, then we are unloved. We measure our value by whether or not someone wants us.
But here’s the danger: when you fear being alone, you will accept anyone who comes your way. Even the wrong one. Even the one who disrespects you. Even the one who uses you.
Fear makes you settle.
Maybe your cousin married at 22. Maybe your friend had a serious boyfriend at 19. Maybe i********: is full of young couples flaunting their “perfect” love life.
And you begin to think, I need to catch up.
But everyone’s timeline is different. You don’t know the hidden stories behind the smiles. Some of those girls are suffering quietly. Some of those relationships are toxic. Some of them will not last.
If you copy someone else’s timeline, you will live someone else’s life and lose your own.
Rushing into love is not innocent. It comes with consequences, consequences most of us never think about until it’s too late.
Unprotected s*x. Because in the moment, love makes you blind to risks.
Contraceptives. Swallowed in secret, wrecking your body, shifting your hormones, even leading to infertility.
Early pregnancies. Carrying a child when you should be carrying textbooks, career goals, or business plans.
Abortions. Traumas that leave physical and emotional scars — some irreversible.
Loss of the womb. Some girls never recover, and the dream of motherhood is stolen before it even begins.
STDs and infections. Because rushing into s*x without wisdom invites danger.
Hard drugs and alcohol. Many start as “fun with bae” but end up as chains of addiction.
Death. Girls die from unsafe abortions, abusive relationships, drug use, or depression linked to heartbreak.
And all of it started with one thing: rushing.
The biggest lie we believe in our teens and early 20s is that love is a race, and the winners are the ones who get chosen first. But love is not a medal. It’s not an award for being pretty, fast, or available.
Love is not something to rush into. Love is something to grow into.
When you build yourself first, your confidence, your finances, your skills, your independence, then you will not just attract love, you will attract the right love.
I rushed. I thought I was securing my future by being chosen early. I thought love would save me. But instead, it distracted me. It delayed me. It broke me.
I lost time. I lost energy. I lost pieces of myself I can never get back.
That’s why I’m writing to you, so you don’t repeat my mistake.
You have two choices in your 20s:
To rush into love and pay the price later.
Or to wait, build yourself, and choose wisely when the time is right.
One choice gives you freedom. The other steals it.
So ask yourself now: Why am I in a hurry?
Is it because I’m truly ready, or because I’m scared, pressured, and comparing?
Slow down. Love is patient. Love will wait. But opportunities won’t. If you waste your teens and early 20s chasing love, you will have to chase money, skills, and purpose later, with more difficulty and less time.
Choose wisely. Don’t rush.
- Writer
