Flashback
1756 Words
This chapter is Tiffany's POV.
The night after the accident.
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I hate myself for this.
Taeyeon was in danger because of my stupidity. I should've listened to her but because I'm stubborn s**t, she got hit by a car.
I saw her hit by a car in my rearview mirror. It utterly broke me inside. I'm so guilty.
Even if I'm terrified, I managed to go outside and help her. The driver who hit her helped me to take her to the near hospital. He took all the charges and he's accountable for what happened.
Minho was already in the hospital because of his work. We supposed to meet each other the next day. He was assigned to operate Taeyeon and I knew that he could save her.
Hyoyeon went to the hospital, she saw me outside the ER. I couldn't look at her because of shame, I was calpable of this.
She was worried and already crying, she hugged me tightly.
"I'm sorry... it's my fault... I shouldn't have left her..." I told Hyoyeon while crying.
"If something bad happen to her, I will not forgive myself..." I added.
Hyoyeon hushed me softly "Don't blame yourself Tiffany, it's an accident. Stay strong for Taeyeon," she rubbed my back to comfort me.
I just continued to cry and buried my face on her chest, I knew I was drenching her blouse. Hyoyeon didn't blame me, she wasn't mad at me and she comforted me. I should be the one to do that but I became weak when I saw Taeyeon, lifeless and her face has a lot of blood.
I loathed myself. I wanted to hurt myself. I deserved this pain though it was killing me.
I was lost and distress.
I don't deserve Taeyeon. I knew, she loves me and she won't cheat but I didn't listen to her. I'm so stupid!
After an hour but it felt like forever, I calmed down a bit. Me and Hyoyeon were sitting on a bench near the ER's double door.
"I don't deserve her Hyo, I put her in this situation and her life is in danger because of me!" I accused myself. I believed it's my fault. I don't deserve her and I don't deserve to be happy.
"Tiffany stop blaming yourself, it's an accident. No one likes this to happen and Taeyeon will be alright, she's a tough girl," Hyoyeon strictly said.
Then suddenly the ER door opened, Minho went out and we stood up running to him.
"What? What happened?" I asked anxiously.
"Calm down babe, she's fine. Just minor injuries and mild concussion. She kinda lost a lot of blood but we already take care of it. She needs to stay here and rest. She will be transferred to other room immediately," Minho explained to us and it was a big relief.
Hyoyeon smiled "Thank you Minho."
"It's my job, don't mention it," he playfully replied to Hyoyeon.
"Can we talk?" I asked him.
"Like right now?" Minho asked back.
I nodded and Hyoyeon eyed me.
"Okay sure. Hyoyeon, just stay here and wait the nurses. They will transfer Taeyeon anytime soon," he ordered.
Hyoyeon nodded "Thank you again."
"No problem."
Minho and I went outside the hospital, we sat on the bench there.
"So... what is it?" He asked as he tried to kiss me but I moved away.
"I'm so happy that you saved Taeyeon, thank you," I sincerely thanked him.
"It's my job," he smiled.
I heavily sighed. I have to do this, it's the right thing to do. I encouraged myself.
Minho frowned "Is there a problem?"
I stared at him intently "I'm sorry Minho."
"Huh? Why?" He frowned more.
I slid off my engagement ring from my finger then held his hand and gave the ring back to him.
"What's the meaning of this?" He asked, hurt was heard in his voice.
I pursed my lips "I can't do this... I'm sorry but I love someone else."
He abruptly stood up "Who is he? Who's that bastard? I thought you love me Tiffany! Why so sudden?" He demanded, he was shaking.
"I love you but just as best friend Minho. I realized that when I met her," I confessed. "I thought I'm in love with you, I let myself believed that because I want a stable life with you. But when I met her, everything changed. I love her, I'm in love with her," I poured my heart and carefully stated my side.
"Her? Since when you became a lesbian? And since when you cheated?" He asked irritably.
"I didn't cheat on you, I swear, we don't have relationship. We just admitted our feelings but we never cheated on you. She knows you and we respect you. I don't know but I'm only gay for Taeyeon," I answered wholeheartedly.
He grimaced "Taeyeon? As in Kim Taeyeon?"
"Yes."
"f**k!" Minho shouted. "I just f*****g saved her! I shouldn't have done that!" He pulled his hair frustrated.
"Please don't say that," I covered my mouth. This was harder than I thought.
"She's your student right? And you just met her! You're willing to give up our relationship, our four years relationship because of that girl? Are you serious?" He questioned my decision.
"I'm sure about that Minho, I love Taeyeon and I can't lie to myself and to everyone," I firmly said.
"Why? Why did you do this to me?" He cried. It made me feel bad, so bad.
"I'm sorry but it just happened," I cried. This made me feel more guilty. He's a nice guy and he doesn't deserve this.
This was my fault. I should've been more careful to my decisions and this was the consequence. I hurt him, I hurt myself and I hurt the girl I love the most. My recklessness showed it all.
"I can't believe this Tiffany but I won't force you to be with me," Minho suddenly said.
I looked at him, stunned.
"You heard me, I won't force you Tiffany. I already felt it before. I saw how you care for Taeyeon. I thought it's just nothing so I didn't mind it but here it is, you're breaking up with me because of her," he chuckled hurtful.
"I'm sorry," that's all I could say.
"Don't be, it's your heart that leads you and besides, you saved me from a long time pain because if we continue this relationship, you will just leave me in the end," Minho raked his fingers through his hair.
"I love you Tiffany and I would be happy of you're happy. We can't force love. I know you already made up your mind so I hope that this will make you happy. I'm letting you go," his voice was broken and his tears were streaming down like an open faucet.
He's really kind to just let it pass. He deserve so much better.
"Thank you Minho..."
"I want you to be happy Tiffany..." he paused. "Good bye," he wiped his tears using the back of her hand then he walked away.
My guilt was eating me alive.
I don't deserve anyone. Maybe it's better if I go away and disappear.
I need to let them go for better even if it'll surely kill my heart.
I went back inside the hospital to see Taeyeon.
In her room, I saw her with bandage around her head. There were cuts all over her body because of splinters from the accident. There was a hose which attached to her while she was sleeping.
She looked peaceful and fine, it made me smile. I just wanted her to be okay.
I sat next to Hyoyeon.
"The nurse said that she's going to be fine, she just need more rest," Hyoyeon said while looking at her sister.
It was a good news.
"If she gets better, I will leave," I abruptly said. I made up my mind.
"What?" Hyoyeon asked in disbelief. "Why would you do that? Don't leave her, she needs you."
"We have the best friend talk right? You said, I should wait till Taeyeon graduated college. This is the right time Hyoyeon and I can't bear to see Minho after I broke up with him," I insisted. I was coward and weak, I know but this was the right choice.
"But where will you go? Please Tiffany, don't leave," Hyoyeon begged as she held my shoulder.
"I made up my mind Hyo, I will go abroad. There's an offer to me, if I accept the job all of the fees will be free for my Master's and including the house. It's perfect. The job, the University and the experience. I need to do this Hyo, I need to do this for myself and for everyone especially Taeyeon," I told her as I held her hand on my shoulder and caressed it.
"But Taeyeon will be sad, you don't have to leave," Hyoyeon tried to persuade me to stay.
"We need a break from this mess and as you said, Taeyeon is strong. She can go on with her life even without me," just saying those words hurt me a lot. "I'm sorry Hyo but I won't change my mind about this."
"I know, you are stubborn s**t," she giggled even though her tears were falling down.
"Just make her believe that I left with Minho. In that way, she will be mad at me and just move on but I always call you to ask about her. Just keep it a secret and when the time comes, when I get back here and she still loves me. I swear, I will never leave her again," I promised. I stood up and walked to Taeyeon.
"It's your choice Tiffany, I can't force you but I will support you no matter what. I'm your best friend, I know, this will turn out good for the both of you or for all of us," Hyoyeon finally agreed.
I held Taeyeon's cheek and stroked it "I love you so much Tae, please stay strong and recover fast. I hope, one day you'd forgive me. I will always love you," I leaned down and kissed her forehead.
I felt like it happened very fast so we need to take a break and cool down.
If we are meant to be, the fate will do its job to bring us together.
And if that happen, I will never leave her again and I will show to her how much I love her.
×××××
Fifth.
- Writer
