In My Heart

2506 Words
Alpha Rylan ~~ I stepped out of the Alpha King's office, my mind swirling with so many thoughts. Rage boiled within me because I had almost lost my cool before the Alpha king and lash out about the devilish woman who he had just accepted into his family. Wasn't she supposed to be with Caleb? How could she choose Caleb six years ago but be with the Alpha Prince today? The word w***e couldn't justify who Natalia was… Thankfully, I held my tongue before the Alpha King. The discussion we had just concluded was important, laying the groundwork for future political strategies, and it also heightened my ambitions in a way that words could not describe. As I walked through the corridors of the grand palace, I couldn't help but admire its splendor. The intricate designs of the marble floors and the ornate tapestries that adorned the walls all served as proof of the power and influence held by the Alpha King. And I wanted that power for myself. I wanted to be the one that every other pack would answer to and respect. Unfortunately for me, things weren’t looking up in my favor at the moment, and as my steps continued to echo through the empty halls, a heaviness settled inside my chest. The rules of succession were clear. In order to become the next Alpha King, one must already have a son. And sadly, I don't have a son. I had a daughter, though, my beautiful daughter Lana, but if I wanted to become the Alpha King, I would need to have a son to solidify my position as a potential successor. I was still walking around and trying to while away the time until the Alpha King summoned me again, so we could round up our conversation, when I heard the sound of laughter and playful footsteps echoing through the palace hallway. My attention was suddenly drawn to a flash of movement. I could not help but stare at the carefree little boy who was running around, bursting with infectious joy and boundless energy as he darted through the hallways. It was almost unbelievable that I happened to run into a little boy who had such a happy smile on his face right when my mind was consumed with thoughts of how much I needed a male child. It also dawned on me that he appeared to be around the same age as my daughter Lana, As the little boy’s eyes connected with mine, a small smile spread across his face, and surprisingly, he started making his way towards me until he halted suddenly when a voice called out his name, and my attention was also captured by the familiar voice—Natalia's voice. My head turned instinctively in her direction, and even from afar, I could see the smile she had on her face. She looked happy, and that annoyed me in every way. I could just rip her heart out. And by her side, of course, was none other than Alpha Prince Derek, whom I had witnessed proposing to her just a while ago. For some reason, watching her say yes to the Alpha Prince earlier only made me feel even more determined to become the next Alpha King. “How dare her smile like that after everything she did to me?” I muttered through gritted teeth, feeling the urge to walk up to her and wipe the smile off her face. “I miss her,” Kai, my wolf, said with a sigh, and I almost could not believe him. In the last five years, my bond with Kai has become so weak to the point where he and I don’t even have any conversations anymore. He never speaks to me, and I stopped trying about a year ago. “You finally speak to me after so long, and that’s the first thing you have to say?” I hissed, wondering how he had the nerve to talk about missing someone who betrayed us in the worst way possible. “I want her back, Rylan. She’s ours, not his,” he responded. I internally scoffed. “That b***h has nothing to do with us anymore, Kai. She betrayed us, and the sooner you get that into that head of yours, the better." I hissed angrily, immediately shutting him out, so he wouldn’t keep annoying me. As far as I was concerned, Natalia is the b***h who betrayed my trust, and I’d never forgive her for that. Just then, as if realizing that I was glaring in her direction, her eyes met mine, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of anger and disgust when another thing hit me. The boy, whose name I now knew to be Davin, rushed towards Natalia, calling her "mama" with such innocent adoration. My confusion and disbelief only grew when I saw Prince Derek sweep Davin into his arms in a way that denoted a strong sense of familiarity. My attention was drawn to the faint sound that Davin made, and my heart began to pound in my chest from how intensely my anger grew. "Dad," he said, his voice filled with warmth and familiarity—an echo that almost shattered the last bit of restraint I had left in me. Five years ago, I severed the bond with Natalia after I got wind of her infidelity with my own half-brother, Caleb. Every shortcoming I had was Natalia’s fault. Just like Kia warned six years ago, I also found out that, because my wolf was now weaker, this factor was making it impossible for me to father another child with my current Luna, Lycia. But even after all these years, here I was again, watching as another one of Natalia's deceits played out before my eyes. It was now clear that not only had she betrayed me with Caleb, but she had also given herself to Prince Derek, whom I’m surprised she even knew, and now she had a child with him who was the same age as my daughter. How did she even do that? I was so overcome by a flurry of feelings that I was unable to process how I had missed the truth that was hiding behind Natalia's innocent and virtuous facade. How come I never realized much sooner how awful she really was? I kept watching Natalia and Alpha Prince Derek with their son, Davin, and felt like my raging fury would burst out of control. My anger was stoked by the hurt and betrayal that came back to haunt me, but amidst the anger I felt, I managed to catch Natalia's eyes on me. At that precise moment, I made up my mind to walk over to them just to greet Alpha Prince Derek and show respect, even though I was fuming on the inside. Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I walked towards Natalia and the Alpha Prince, my face a mask of composure. As I approached them, I noticed Natalia's gaze falter for a moment, and I could tell that she was uncomfortable. What I didn’t know was if her guilt was the reason she wasn’t comfortable. Regardless, I remained firm in my resolve, determined to maintain a civil demeanor. "Prince Derek," I said, my voice steady. "Congratulations on your engagement. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness," I managed to say. A smile graced Alpha Prince Derek's lips as he turned to face me. "Thank you, Alpha Rylan." Unable to return the smile,I nodded his way and walked away before my emotions could consume me. I could feel Natalia’s eyes on me, but I refused to give her any attention or let her affect me any longer. Fueled by a bubbling rage that threatened to burst through me, I returned to my pack, my mind still plagued by thoughts of Natalia. All I could think about on the ride back from the Royal Pack to the Starfall Pack was how unfair life was, and no matter how hard I tried not to be jealous, I could not help but feel it. It seemed as though the Moon Goddess herself favored Natalia, for one reason or another, because why else would someone like her be having a good life and even getting lucky enough to be engaged to the Alpha Prince of all men? Arriving at the Starfall Pack, I knew the first thing that I should have done was go see Lycia and let her know I was back, but I was way too upset to meet with her right now. I knew she would immediately sense that something was off even if I tried to pretend, so I didn’t bother going, so I didn’t have to deal with her questions. Without bothering to say anything to anyone, I made my way to my office, the walls witnessing the boiling rage that coursed through my veins. Pacing back and forth in the confines of my office, anger pulsed at every step, spewing venomous thoughts that filled my mind. I was so annoyed, and I hated that she still had this much effect on me even after all these years. My wolf, Kai, who I was still very furious with, decided to interrupt my thoughts, his voice echoing in my mind. "Now, Rylan, I’m trying to understand you, but I just can’t seem to. I mean, why are you so upset? Shouldn't you be happy to see Natalia again? You and I have been estranged for years now, but seeing her alone was enough to bring me back alive. You should be happy." I grimaced inside my control over my anger, almost on the verge of breaking. "I think it’s best you just shut up, Kai," I retorted, my voice laced with frustration. "I do not wish to discuss Natalia with you. She is nothing but a terrible person who ruined us, and that’s that." Kai scoffed, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Really? You don’t want to talk about her? Are you sure about that because, as far as I know, you haven’t stopped thinking about her, despite how much you claim to despise her?" I felt a churning ball of rage inside of me that was just ready to explode, but just as I was about to respond to Kai's insolence by giving him a piece of my mind, a sharp knock on my office door shattered the thoughts that clouded my mind. I gritted my teeth, irritation etched upon every fiber of my being, as I called out, "Who is it?" The servant's voice trembled slightly as he responded, "It is Maroon, sir. Your father has sent for you." I grumbled, waving the servant away dismissively. "Tell him I will be there shortly." I made my way to my father's office, already aware that whatever awaited me there would only further darken my already foul mood. I already knew precisely what he was going to talk about, and it annoyed me that I couldn’t avoid it. Without bothering with the formalities of a greeting, I pushed the door open, meeting my father's gaze with a look that dared him to get straight to the point. "What do you want, Father?" I asked curtly, my tone laced with impatience. My father, Raymond, looked up from his desk, a false concern etched on his face. "How did the meeting with the Alpha King go?" he inquired, his voice filled with anticipation. I knew there was nothing more important to my father than having me become the next Alpha King, but I've learned to just accept that I would only ever be a way for him to achieve his dreams. A bitter scoff escaped my lips, my disappointment seeping into my words. "There's nothing to say, Father. Nothing happened," I replied tersely. Father's expression immediately shifted to one of anger and frustration. "How can you say that, Rylan? You had the chance to present your Alpha portfolio to the Alpha King. This was your chance to prove yourself and show the Alpha King that you are worthy of being considered for the position of Alpha King. So, did he at least show any interest? Did it seem like he's considering you as a potential successor?" I suppressed a sarcastic grin as my own rage began to surface. "Father, let's not delude ourselves," I retorted, my voice tinged with bitterness. "There are plenty of other Alphas with impressive portfolios just like mine, and many of whom already have male children—something I happen to lack. The Alpha King was less than ecstatic about my portfolio. It was abundantly clear that he was not considering me a serious contender." My father’s face grew red with frustration, and his voice was laced with disappointment. "Rylan, you assured me that you would become the next Alpha. But how is that going to happen if you do not take the necessary steps? Are you no longer determined?" My temper flared, and I shot back, "I'm still determined, Father, but I'm also realistic. I won't pretend everything is in my favor when it's not." His eyes bore into mine, disappointment and frustration evident. "You have to do something about this, Rylan. You're at a disadvantage, and you know it. The Alpha King and the other Alphas won't fully respect you until you have a son. It's the way our society works," he hissed. "If you had only listened to my advice and found yourself a breeder, someone to bear you a son, you would not be at such a disadvantage," he added, and I felt a wave of anger rising inside me that threatened to overtake me. However, I battled to control it because I was determined not to offend my father. "Father, I won’t say this again. Let this be the last time I will repeat myself," I spoke through gritted teeth, my voice trembling with restrained fury. "I won't hurt Lycia like that. I won't take a breeder just to produce an heir. It's not who I am, and I won’t stoop to such a level just to have a son." His expression hardened, his voice laced with frustration. "You're being naive, Rylan. This is the reality of our world. If you want to succeed, if you want the respect you deserve, you need to play by the rules." "Those are not the rules I choose to follow, and I won't entertain that suggestion, Father. Not now, not ever. I'll find another way to prove my worth if I have to." With those words, I stormed out of his office, the heavy door closing behind me. The weight of my disappointment and anger, both from the Alpha King's indifferent reception, my father's expectations, and my encounter with Natalia, only seemed to heighten my rage. To think the person responsible for making my life difficult was happy made me even more upset, and nothing at this point could take away the bitterness that had settled in my heart.
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