DEAR BRUNO

CHAPTER 8 : LOUD EMOTIONS

Days turned to hours and hours minutes,things started changing and we could barely meet only once in a while. Grace had started plans to join college since her grade did not match the university level.On this fine day i had come across you and Grace coming from our favorite restaurant and you explained to me that the reason you guys were there was because you were helping Grace in finding a good college and thought you shouldn't disturb me since i had exams,It felt wrong but i believed you anyway and i knew you were mine and mine alone and that you loved me the same way i loved you. You decided to take me back to the restaurant and keep company as i did whatever took me there and so i agreed though the conversation was short and brief. I could feel that things were changing though not sure how,for thirty minutes it felt like i had kept you there for so long

"Hey babe it's okay you can go I'll just finish up here," i said after watching you distracted for a while

"No, it's okay just finish up and will go together," You answered trying to give that assuring look

"Mmmhhh okay," i shrugged my shoulder

Time passed and Grace had joined college of which we talked but not like we used to,the bond we always had as friends was already withering and i could do nothing about it. I remember it as if it happened a few hours ago,this Sunday evening you called me and said we had to meet that it was urgent and that we could meet at our favourite place and so i made an exception with Pais since we had plans. I put on a dress, something i rarely did that was kind of short and flayed and flat shoes, a light make up with red lip color maybe i was really excited that finally you remembered me. I got there and found you seated enjoying your drink you stood up and gave me that tight hug that i longed for and just like the first time we met your cologne still gave me chills,good chills. You never seemed handsome like you did at that moment,your eyes were glowing like stars,your smile gave a clear impression of rekindling something that was almost fading.

"You look amazing," You said giving me a twirl

I was blushing but managed to utter a 'Thank you'. We sat for some minutes siping our drinks and i excused myself to the washroom only to find Grace applying lip color and we didn't have much to say to each other just that she told me she was meeting someone there, I did my business and came back to you Bruno. At that juncture i thought i was hullucinating honestly,i came back and found you and Grace locking lips and you stopped and gave me a brief look and you smiled,i felt dizzy and sat down,i wished the ground could swallow me alive,the walls mocked me loudly that i blocked my ears or maybe this is not it, I'm dreaming. Everything stopped and i could feel the tables discussing and shouting at me saying "We tried to tell you woman",So helpless i sat on that chair thinking and rethinking about you and my best friend. You walked towards me holding my bag and sat down with Grace next to you

"Hey,please don't feel bad after all this is not a death sentence, it's just that i have to take care of myself and my needs and you couldn't do that so Grace did exactly what you couldn't. You loving me and being there for me wasn't enough, I'm sorry but i had to tell you that," The only words you said to me. I gathered myself and took my bag and left without even a word i guess my love for you and the pain i had at that moment couldn't be explained by words. You had chosen her and that's where you found your hapiness but who was i?

My way to the university was quite long than usual,tears kept finding their way through my eyes,i recalled all the good times we had shared,the promises we kept and this new feeling you gave me. Pais tried to comfort me but i couldnt stop,i found my way out of the school compound and went to the nearest liqour shop and bought myself something to calm me for the night, I drunk too much and smoked too much. I wanted nothing and no one around me just my drink and gas,For weeks my phone was switched off,never attending classes, eating nothing just drinking liqour and smoking.The third week in my situation and i had gotten into trouble with the school security and they reported me to the Dean of students and after research they found out I hadn't been attending classing and so i was given a suspension letter for two months reasons being in position of illegal drugs in school and failure to attending classes. It gave me headache on how I'll explain all this to my folk and i dicided not to say anything, changing the environment from school again to home only made it worse for i could be mostly in my room either drinking or soaking in thoughts that never showed signs of leaving me. I started cutting ties with everyone i knew,i preferred being alone to a point i started talking to myself but what could i have done,you ripped my soul Bruno. It came a point that i explained everything to my mum about school and such and that i didn't want to go back to studying.

My life became a living hell with issues all over. I once came across Peter and it had been a while since i went for classes and our meeting was sudden. He had started gaining popularity with his classes and everyone wanted to join him

"You don't look well Julia what's up?", He asked trying to give me a direct eye glance

"It's nothing Peter I'm okay," i answered

"I know you and you're not fine,please come to the studio tomorrow",

"Okay I'll find time,"

I loved Peter for he was really calm and the fact that he could talk things out with someone was really what made him nice.Time passed and though not the exact day we had agreed i went to the Studio still and found Peter training a group of people and i sat there for a while and when he saw me he excused himself and came to me giving me a random hug with his soaking wet body filled with sweat he looked at my eyes and as if trying to get a glimpse of them

'What's up pretty? You are drunk and high and it's barely midday," He asked while holding my chin up

'Nothing, just took a shot and i havent smoked," I tried to look convincing

'I can tell something is wrong, you are not you Julia. Listen, I'm calling off this class and we are going somewhere and you'll tell me everything mmmhhh,'

Ooh Peter!! I watched him talking to the group of learner's and then took his water bottle to the changing room. So innocently i waited for him and again thoughts started crowding, was i not good enough? What did i do wrong?. I didn't notice Peter coming out with his bag and stood besides me then squatted down and lifted my chin, this time more gently

' Everything will work out just fine", He then hugged me and helped me wipe my tears. We went just across the street from the Gym in a fine restaurant that had writings on the wall, graffiti if i say so. It seemed liked whoever went to the restaurant left a positive comment on the wall,it was spacious with dim lightings and big classy square tables that had aesthetic calories, the garden behind the restaurant was little but trust me it was the real definition of beauty and serenity.

I loved the restaurant and Peter realizing that he told me that it was his spot and i shouldn't speak until i ate something. I had and still have a good appetite though my slim body proves otherwise,i ordered Masala Chips and grilled chicken and broccoli,and Peter ordered salad. He was always keen with what he ate since he was a fitness instructor. We ate and everytime he asked about my mood I would quickly change the conversation, I'm the kind of person who wouldn't share after all people have their own problems why should they listen to mine?. He tried to get me to talk but to no avail, we took a walk on the garden talking and laughing, Peter really had good sense of humour especially when talking about his past experiences on different fields. It felt really therapeutic having moments with him and when evening came He walked me home where he stopped when we neared my home and he looked at me again and lifted my chin "i hope whatever's disturbing you will get a solution soon,this pretty face needs this sober smile," he said and hugged me tightly which made me sink and want to stay in his arms. I could stay in room all the time and only came out when i felt i needed to eat or drink, my mother tried asking what was happening but never told her anything and with that time went by and i was supposed to go back to the University but instead i chose to stay at home and quit school. My mother tried to talk me out of that decision but i had already made up my mind not knowing what would happen to me afterwards.