Chapter 31: Bex Figures It Out

1301 Words
NORA POV Three knocks. Proper ones. Not her usual two-tap-and-push-it-open. Actual knocking. The kind you did when you were not sure of your welcome. I looked up from the window. “Come in” Bex opened the door. She was still in her day clothes which meant she hadn’t been to bed yet. She came in, closed the door behind her, and sat in the chair across the room. No coffee. No easy expression. Just her. Sitting there. Hands in her lap. I felt it coming the way you felt weather. The air in the room changed slightly and I went still and waited. She didn’t say anything for a moment. Just looked at her hands. “Bex.” “I’m thinking about how to start” she said. “Just start.” She looked up. “I’ve been thinking. Since everything started this week. The alarm, the delegation, Marcus, your…” She stopped. “Your visiting family member.” My chest went tight. I kept my face level. “I’ve noticed things” she said. “Small ones. Individually they don’t mean anything. But together they…” She pressed her lips together. “Dana’s face. The way she holds herself. The way you looked at each other the morning after she arrived.” She kept her eyes on mine. “The way some of the older wolves have been looking between the two of you.” “Bex…” “I’m not asking you to explain it” she said. Quick. Firm. “I’m not asking for details. I don’t need the whole picture right now.” She leaned forward slightly. “I just need to know one thing.” I waited. “Are you safe?” she said. Just that. Three words. Quiet and straight. Something in my chest cracked. Not loudly. Not dramatically. Just this small, clean break, the kind that happened when someone asked the right question at the wrong time and your body decided it was done pretending it wasn’t tired. I looked at her. This girl who had appeared in my first month here and decided we were going to be close and had never once asked me to explain myself, just showed up with coffee and bad jokes and that steady, warm presence that was the most genuine thing in this house. She had chosen me. Without knowing my name. Without knowing anything about what I actually was or what I was doing here or the weight I was carrying. She just looked at me one day in the first week and decided she liked what she saw and that was that. And now she was sitting in my room at night with no coffee and no deflection asking if I was safe because she had been watching for days and she was worried and she was too decent to just let it sit there. I breathed. “I’m safe” I said. She looked at me. That look. The Bex look. The one where she was taking in what I said and running it against what she could see and deciding how much of a gap existed between those two things. “Okay” she said. Quiet. “I mean it.” “I know you mean it.” She sat back. “I just also know that you have a very specific way of saying you are fine when the more accurate word would be managing.” “Those aren’t the same?” “No” she said. “They are not the same.” She tucked one leg under herself. The easy Bex posture coming back slowly now that the hardest part was said. “Fine means fine. Managing means you are holding fifteen things and none of them have dropped yet but your arms are getting tired.” I looked at the window. The grounds were dark and quiet outside. A patrol wolf crossing the far edge of the property. The tree line sitting still. “There are things happening” I said carefully. “Things I cannot explain yet. Not fully.” “I know.” “And when I can explain them I will.” I looked back at her. “I promise.” “Okay.” She nodded. No argument. “Bex. If you have put together what I think you’ve put together…” “I haven’t put anything together officially” she said. Fast. Clear. “I have noticed things. I have decided not to do anything with what I’ve noticed until you tell me I can.” She held my gaze. “That is different from knowing.” I stared at her. “You’re giving me time” I said. “I’m giving you what you need.” She shrugged one shoulder. “Which right now appears to be someone who is not asking questions you can’t answer yet.” Something in my throat felt thick. Not crying. I was not going to cry. But something was sitting in my chest that was close to it, that specific kind of feeling when someone is kinder to you than you expected and you are not prepared for it. “There’s going to be a point” I said slowly, “where the full picture comes out. Where everyone finds out.” I looked at her. “And some of what comes out is going to be about me specifically. Things I have been carrying since before I came here.” Her eyes were steady. “Okay.” “It’s not going to be simple.” “Most true things aren’t.” “People in this pack might feel…” I stopped. Picked the word carefully. “Uncertain. About whether they can trust what they know.” Bex looked at me for a long moment. Something moved across her face. Not confusion. Not hurt. Just thought. Like she was weighing something real and giving it actual space. “Can I say something?” she said. “Yes.” “Whatever comes out.” She kept her voice even. “Whatever the full picture looks like. I picked you.” She said it like it was very simple. “Not a title. Not a role. Not a name.” She looked me straight in the eyes. “I picked the person who showed up every morning and did the work and learned every wolf in this pack and actually gave a damn about them. That is what I picked.” She tilted her head slightly. “I don’t think the full picture is going to change what I actually picked.” I looked at her. I had no words. None that were appropriate or adequate or anywhere close to what that deserved. “Okay” I said finally. My voice came out quieter than I meant it to. “Okay” she said back. She stood up. Moved toward the door. At the doorframe she stopped and turned back. “You should sleep” she said. Back to normal Bex. The easy tone. The practical face. “Not going to happen, I know. But try.” She left. I stood at the window for a long time after. She hadn’t believed me fully. I knew that. She had taken what I said and filed it and decided to leave it where I put it for now because that was what I needed. But she hadn’t believed me completely and I hadn’t told her the full truth and we both knew both of those things and let it sit there anyway. Safe. I had said I was safe. I pressed my hand against my chest. The pressure pushed back. Steady. Patient. Getting stronger.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
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