INTREPID

IN SILENCE

It was time to go back to school,we bid farewell to his parents and started off.I noticed that Mike has been weired after last night,I have tried to talk to him but he is only giving me one word answers.So I let it go but I couldn't help thinking,if this reaction is not supposed to be the other way round.I am the one who is supposed to react this way,it was my first time, clearly not his.If you ask me, even up to now I haven't wrapped my head around the fact that had sxx last night.I went against everything I believe in and what I am,because I love him and I have so much faith in him.I believe he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.

On the way back to school, silence became too loud so I switched on the radio for destruction then the song came on it was broken road by rascal flatts.I couldn't help it I love the song so much, I started singing along on top of my voice ,I set out on a narrow way, many years ago,hoping I would find true love along the broken road.But I got lost a time or two,wipe my brow and kept pushing through,I couldn't see how every sign, led me straight to youuu...I was pointing at him.I continud singing,I was a women on a mission.Every long lost dream,led me to where you are,others who broke my heart,they where like Northern stars,pointing on my way into your loving arms,this much I know its true that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you...I had my eyes closed when I heard him laugh so hard.I reduced the volume,am glad I can make you laugh.I felt like I was coming back from the funeral.You know all the words to this song?yes it's one of my favourites.what?you have made my day.what music is this anyway,it's country music, I think you need a whole year of musication,is that supposed to be music education?yes,you just made that up,yes but you get it right?I guess so.

The rest of the ride was full of noise,we were just bickering about anything.we also talked about the coming weeks,we are going to be busy with exams, we might not have time for each other but am sure we can spare some time to atleast have a meal together.

The break is over and school is hot because the exam time table has just come out.I have been so busy trying to revise my courses and prepare for exams but the funny thing is that,since we got back I haven't seen my so called boyfriend.I have tried calling,texting no reply. I mean a person can be busy but not for a phone call or text,something is up and I am trying not to be distracted by anything.But I can't help asking myself If I got played.What the hell have I done to myself? I haven't told anyone about me going to his home and sleeping with him, not even Grace.And he has totally ghosted me.

The following week came by so fast,we have only a few days to be in this school. At the end of this week,we will begin writing the new chapters of our lives.Somehow,I feel anxious. I don't know what tomorrow holds for me, I just want to be happy and I don't think am asking for too much.I close my eyes and whisper a prayer,please God I know I was wrong but please, go easy on me.The reason for all this drama is that,I havent seen my period this month and I just realize I did not take any pills to prevent the baby after the night I had sxx with Mike.The thing is I don't even know what kind of pills to take,I had no reason to know these things but I should have been smatter and insisted on the protection.Now I have been ghosted and possibly pregnant.How did I end up here? I have only seen Mike once since we got back,I was trying to talk to him but he left before I could even open my mouth to speak to him and my phone calls do not even go through anymore.

I was writing my last paper today, and thought I could test for pregnancy.So I have everything ready and I have even done everything,I am now just waiting for the results.It has been an hour I can't get myself to look at the pregnacy test.I can tell you one thing for sure,my eyes are pissing and I can't get myself to stop.Deep down in my heart, I feel the result is positive but what the hell will I do?

I picked up the stick to see the result, the thicknesses of my face collapsed,to my suprise, God did not hear me when I asked for little happiness.I cried so hard,I felt like my heart was literally breaking in tiny pieces.I put a hand on my stomach,I still can't believe I am pregnant and Mike is not talking to me.Its true what they say: an apple doesn't fall too far from the tree; I ended up exactly like my mother, atleast she hard her mother,I have no one.I was naive and stxxxd I ended up ghosted and pregnant. I lay down on the floor of the wash room,I don't think I can even walk right now.My heart shattered in pieces of betrayal, and I felt emmense pain from my head all around the body.

I don't know how long I have been sleeping on the floor,I woke up to the sound of a knock from Grace.Hey,we are going to celebrate our last paper,are you coming? you have been in the wash room for a long time,are you okey?yes,I am okey and no, I will not be joining you.Come on,its our last hang out with our batch mates.No am good,I have something to do, you will find me.Okey then,text me if you need me,okey hun,have fun.I wanted to convince myself that I was okey but this is way too big,its a big change and I don't think I will ever be the same again.This is all becouse of one careless night with Mike,I thought he was different but I have to say,he is not anywhere near as dim as he led me to believe. But even after all this,I love him enough to think there is an explanation to his behaviour and I want to hear it, more especially now that I am growing his seed in my belly.I can't believe this is happening,but I am going to see him.

I quickly prepared myself so that I catch him before he goes to the so called last hang out.I gathered my strength to go to his room,I have never been there but he is a well known guy so it was easy to find him.I knocked on the door his friend Jake opened the door,well forget the suprise on his face,hey I am looking for Mike, he is in?No he left,what!Mike left campus after the break,what about exam? he was driving in everyday.He said he had things to do and I haven't yet had time to find out where he is staying and what he is been up to.I thought you knew,you guys seemed close,yeah I wish we were.Zoe,are you okey?you don't look fine,am okey.I Would like you to deliver a message for me?in case you meet him before I do,tell him I came by looking for him and I said thanks and kindly use the exact words okey?sure.I started walking back slowly,at this point I could not even feel my body.

He left me.

Before I reached my room,I couldn't control it any more,I knelt down and started crying in the middle of the road.My eyes were clouded with unfathomable anger,he has taken everything from me and left me pregnant and alone.I am not suicidal but I wouldn't hate the person who would put me out of my misery . Darkness engulfed me slowly,I couldn't see anything.I was tired of fighting so I decided to give in to the sadness or whatever I was feeling and it felt great.I crumbled on the ground,reminiscing what I ever did wrong to justify this kind of treatment.Slowly,I lost conscious of things around me,a my dying?