On Earth's Edge

Chapter 4

Izzy is gone. A little boy without his mother. Carmon is gone. A world without a healer. My body is once again numb. I imagine what it would have been to meet these wonderful under better circumstances. Parent meetings were in a few weeks, I would have met Izzy then. Her blue eyes would have been bright, and her smile cheery. Her hair would have cropped neatly at her shoulders. Her clothes would be clean and perfect. I would have told her about Ian's performance very sweet but concerned over him getting picked on. She would have gotten fired up, maybe we would have shared a glass of wine. We would have become friends, laughing on the weekends. I would have told her all about Jared.

Then I would have met Carmon, maybe at a coffee shop, she would have been the new school nurse. Placing band-aids on scuffed knees. We would chuckle in the break room. She would have mended every injury with her gift. Her ebony skin would glisten in the sunlight, she would have perfectly white nurse shoes. Making everyone’s life better around her. Perhaps she would have healed me.

I am broken of my trance with a shake on my shoulder. Auden's hand remains as I look up.

“Hey, we really should get going…” His voice is kind and caring. I nod at him and scuffle to kneel up, the gravel whooshing beneath me. I silently thank him for tearing me back to where we are. Scenarios that would have never happened, only torment me. I look back once more, the wrath in my chest boiling now.

We began walking north, closer to the city staying closer to cover. McCarthy and Auden scouted the airplane wreckage. No survivors, no bodies either. McCarthy came back with no emotion.

“It’s all just shreds.” He had said when he came back. We all marched silently once more. I thought about the office building Jared used to work in, in the city. The day I had brought him a cake.

My feet were quick on the steps, my heels clomping all the way. I smiled as other people passed by. I made it to the door and opened it. Suddenly self-conscious of imaginary lipstick on my teeth. I ran my tongue across the fronts of each tooth. The woman behind the desk smiled at me.

“Hello. My name is Candace what can I do for you?”

“Hi, I brought my husband a cake” I held it up just slightly. “it’s his birthday but he will be stuck here all day.” I chuckled.

“Aww! That's so sweet what’s his name? I'll go get him for you.”

“Jared Therberg.” By the time the last syllable passed my lips, she is as pale as a ghost.

“Umm, Jared hasn’t worked here for about 6 months now. He was fired.” Her polished fingers reached across the desk sympathetically. I was dumbfounded.

“Are you sure? I just packed his lunch this morning. He said he had just started a new project.”

“Yes, Ma'am. He was fired.” My eyes could only blink in response.

“6 months ago? For what?” I tried to keep my voice calm and steady, but it raised. Her eyes darted nervously and she looked down, bringing her hands closer to her.

“He was fired for s****l harassment… against me.” My jaw drops slightly, but it was not because of surprise. I wasn't surprised at all. Suddenly I ached for the woman behind the desk. I wondered if she was a mistress gone wrong, or if she was simply something else to conquer.

We were just on the outside edge of the city now. I craned my neck up to look up at the skyscrapers. Most with caved-in tops and broken windows, I wouldn't be able to point out what building worked in anymore. The young girl beside me looked increasingly nervous. I examined her black hair and the cut that finally stopped bleeding on her forehead. I elbowed her jokingly.

“What's up, buttercup?” I said with the intent to make myself feel better and bit my lip slightly. She looked at me startled then rolled her eyes a tad. My heart sank.

“Just going to the city. My parents used to live here.” Her voice was monotone, but when up slightly on the word parents.

McCarthy stuffed behind me awkwardly. I looked back at him and borrowed my eyes. He was fiddling with something in his pocket. He had a mean look on him so I turned my head back to the girl.

“What’s your name?”

“My name's Lily.” Her tension was increasing every step we took. Auden must have sensed it too, he slowed his pace to match with ours. He looked at Lily and smiled.

“So did you live here before?” She looked at him and smiled back. My mouth gaped open. Unbelievable. I've been working with kids for just over ten years and he breaks through just like that because she thinks he's cute? I blush in remembrance of my childhood crush.

“Yes. I went to school here too. I think my father was taken. My sister and mother are dead.” Her eyes well with tears Auden nods his head. “I got in a fight with my mom the night before. She didn’t want me spending the night with a friend. I did anyway. When I returned the next day the door was open, she was dead in the doorway. My little sister was on the couch dead too. Put down like dogs.”

“I'm sorry that happened to you.” He placed an arm over her shoulder. Her cheeks were now full of blush. He noticed and reeled it in quickly. I bit my bottom lip so I wouldn’t smile. A woman's voice came from up ahead. She pressed her finger to her lips.

“Shh. We are almost there, be quiet we don't know what is waiting for us.” Her hair was spiked, sprite-like. We veered to the left or a corner, making our way towards the inside of the city.

Something was different about the sky lighter and lower. A fog. The smell reminded me of It water conquering fire, like the apartment buildings near my childhood home. It hasn’t rained for seven years.

Started by McCarthy behind me, he looked up for a moment and sucked in a breath deeply into his nostrils.

“It smells like rain.” He smiled, the age lines around his mouth carved in deeper, not quite as faint as the crow's feet near his eyes.

“Yes, I suppose it does. Wonder why.” I say more rhetorically.

Auden and the woman ahead stopped abruptly nearly sending me through Lily's back.

“Okay, here it is. Be careful.” She stood in front of a slate metal door, no markings just broken bricks outlining the rectangle. She carefully pushed down on the metal knob and entered. Everything was dark but there appeared to be a small light inside. A voice came through the darkness.

“Rebecca?”

The woman with short hair gasped. The collision of their two bodies in an embrace filled the room.

“I've been so worried about you.” The other woman said to Rebecca. It was a romantic hold. I wondered how long they’ve been hiding, and how they managed to keep it a secret. The other woman looked at us, she was thin and blonde.

“I'm Heidi. You guys can grab whatever you want. They destroyed most things but there are a few things that are still useable." She never let go of Rebecca's hand once. The gesture sent envious pains to my heart. I'd do anything to feel Eugene's hand in mine just once more.

It used to be a clothing shop, I guessed. A small room with racks pushed over. The clothes hung down like tattered waste. A pair of hiking boots caught my eye.

McCarthy and Auden already at separate ends of the store. I crunched broken mirror shards beneath my torn shoes on the way over. I wiggled my toes and enjoyed the stretch for a moment. The camo boots were big but I couldn't have asked for better. The others all examining items for themselves. The sound of pitter-patter on the walls and roof overtook the room. Dumbfounded, we all stood.

I looked at McCarthy quickly. His face lost color and he was quick to shove a small black item into his front pocket like a schoolboy hiding something he shouldn’t be doing. My eyes narrowed at him as he diverted his glance.

The room now silent, everyone’s backs straight and eyes wide.

“Do you think another eruption happened?” June asked Auden.

“If it did, I only have two respirators and we are not safe under this roof.” Auden's voice was strained. Worried.

Auden and Clyde placed the respirators over their mouths and pushed the metal bar of the door.

"Look! Look! It's the sky!" Right above us the clouds and ash cleared leaving a beautiful blue to look up to. Clyde cried tears of joy. Brad smiled beside him. McCarthy smiled in the back, but his smile was quick to fade.