Forever Finding You

1.

A bead of sweat trickled down the side of my neck from the hot August heat. The cars rushing past me didnt even blow a cool breeze. I found myself walking faster towards the shadey spot underneath the tree or houses near by. Just to get some relief from the sun baking down on my neck and back.

I thought the weather would have at least cooled down before school started. But here I was, the day before school my last first day of school, soaked in sweat walking home from my summer job.

I worked as a barista at a local coffee shop. The pay wasnt bad and I enjoyed the smell of coffee. There was something relaxing and heart warming about it.

The heat on my back made me think about why I got this job. A car. Thats what I needed. A car with nice cool air conditioning. I was trying to save up enough money to buy one before this year started. I had imagined pulling up to school and picking my own parking spot. I would no longer be riding the bus every morning. I didnt care what kind of car or how pretty it was. A car was a car.

Unfortunately, this summer was unsuccessful. Maybe I will have better luck by next summer. I have approximately 10 months till I graduate, there's more time to save.

I kept thinking about a car as I walked home.

As I approached the old church on the corner I slowed down to a stop as I admired it. My eyes traced over the dark, cracked, and some broken windows. The white exterior almost completely chipped off except in a few small places, revealing the gray stony concrete underneath. The "No Trepassing" sign hung crookedly on the door wrapped in chains.

My heart always aches seeing this building so broken and run down. I could almost see how beautiful it used to look even though its been this way as long as I can remember.

I shrugged off the feeling and kept moving.

I finally made in onto my street as I was beginning to worry about a heat stroke. My stomach turned as I approached the shabby two sided double house. If it was cooler outside I may have stalled a bit longer before coming home. I never knew what I would be coming home to these days. I was hoping I would be able to come home and go straight to my room. But as I heard the commotion going on inside, I imagined that was already impossible.

I could hear my mom and her boyfriend arguing, again. I wondered if I should stay outside longer. The uncomfortable sweat dripping down my face and neck made me reach for the door knob. As I turned and open the door I mentally prepared myself. Turning myself into an unemotional and quiet robot.

I looked for my mom's face first as I entered the house. She was standing in front of Gus, her boyfriend. She was glaring at him, her eyebrows were drawn together creating a v between her brown eyes. Her blonde hair was tied up in a messy bun where it normal sat on her head. She didnt looked harmed so I was able to relax a bit. Gus didnt seem the type but neither did the last guy.

I closed the door quietly in hopes I could escape to my room before she could get me involved.

"What do you expect us to do?" I heard her yell at Gus as I slipped into the stairwell. "How are we going to get by?"

I knew what they were fighting about now. He must've lost his job again. I rolled my eyes as I jogged up the stairs into my cool bedroom. I sighed a long airy breath once I shut my door, allowing myself to relax a little bit.

My room was basically empty with a bed, dresser, and two art pieces on my wall that I doodled. I quickly changed out of my work clothes telling myself Ill shower once they're done fighting. I put on a grey tank top and pajama shorts so I can let the cool air of the room cool me down. I preferred the cold to the heat any day of the week.

I collapsed onto my rickety bed, kicking the blanket off. I pulled out my phone to check my bank account. I had gotten paid today and I knew my mom knew. with all of the over time I pulled last week my pay check was about $450. My phone bill was $50, so I paid that really quick. I then pulled another $50 into my savings account. The amount now reading.

Checking: $350

Savings: $100

I wanted to cry but I bit my lip and sighed through my nose. I worked so hard this summer and I had nothing to show for it. Now summer was over and all I had left was a measly $100. I tossed my phone to the side and curled up into a ball on my bed feeling defeated.

I thought about my life and where I will be in a year. Maybe I would apply for a college far away from here. The chances of me getting a scholarship were slim to none. I could get by on grants and loans but the loans I would be paying off for life. Was it worth it? Putting myself into huge amounts of debt just to escape my home?

After a few minutes the voices downstairs stopped after the sound of a door slamming. I guess Gus was done with the argument. Who knows if he will be back later. I knew what my mom was doing now. She was sitting on the couch trying to find the right words to ask me for money. I dont mind helping, but I just wish it wasnt every week. Does that make me selfish or a bad person? I dont know.

I pulled my phone back out feeling hopeless. There was no point in waiting. I know whats going to be asked of me and whats the point in saving money? I'm never going to do better. I wont be able to go to college. Ill have to keep working to help out my mom. We will live together forever.

I send her the $350 I have through PayPal. I laid there staring at my phone while holding back tears just praying she doesnt decide to come to my room trying to pull an confused and shocked act. She already knows why I sent it but she tries to make it feel like I gifted it to her. I don't have the energy for it right now.

My phone dings with a message from her.

"Thank you and Im sorry Layla." was all she said.

I dropped my phone as my quiet sobs ripped through me. I laid there like that for the rest of the night just wishing for a change.

I opened my eyes and I was no longer in my soft bed, but I knew exactly where I was. I was in the middle of the woods again all alone. My old white cotton night gown clung to the sweat on my legs as I tried to stand. Shaking with fear as I knew I was not where I was supposed to be. It was coming for me again and it wanted to take my life again.

A familiar voice called a name in the distance. My heart skipped a beat and I knew the voice was calling for me. I yelled out that I was here but my voice was not my own and I spoke a language I was not familiar with. I knew who was calling for me and I wanted to be near them.

I rose to my feet and began sprinting to the voice. My heart was in my throat as I focused on running and not looking back at what could be chasing me. I jumped over rocks and ducked under branches as I yelled out for the voice.

Then I saw the figure in the opening of the woods. He paused as he saw me and opened his arms out to me. Everything inside of me relaxed and a smile broke out on my face as I saw the warming invitation of his embrace. I ran towards his arms and-

I woke up