Hidden in Plain Sight

Chapter Two. Last Summer.

It all started in the summer between middle school and high school. My body changed and so many changes came with it. I spent the summer working as a lifeguard in our local Country Club. The water has always been my serene place, so I often swam after work to alleviate stress or I biked to the Club to save money and to help clear my head.

All the changes my body was going through and my escape activities transformed my figure. I developed double Ds, my waist became smaller, my legs stronger and more shapely and the ass I had on me was the tightest it has ever been.

By the time I started freshman year at Independence High School, I was a completely different girl on the outside, but internally, I had never felt so insecure and alone. I felt like an imposter. I was pretending to be someone everyone expected, but not even I recognized who I had become.

I felt so uncomfortable with the unwanted attention. I just want to be the girl next door type. But instead, I was now viewed as an influencer among my peers. I got thrown into the deep end with no warning to Independence High School's elite.

To think that just a few months ago, I was a nobody among them. Just another girl they walked past in the hallway that went unnoticed because she just blended in. That all changed last summer.

That's the summer Miles De Blanc actually noticed me. I have had a crush on him for years, but I was never brave enough to introduce myself or go out of my way to have him notice me.

He has always been one of the most popular boys at school. We had many classes together in middle school, but he never noticed me. "But, then again, why would he notice me?!?" These are the words and thoughts that punished me often.

So many beautiful girls were always battling it out for his attention. They would hang on him, teasing him with the possibility of scoring, leave sexy notes telling him what they would do to him, and always throwing themselves at him.

And then there was me, totally in love with a guy who barely knew I existed, or better yet, he didn't care that I existed. As I walked by the group of girls that surrounded and praised Miles, I often said to myself, "What chance could I possibly have?!? A plain Jane like me could never get his attention." He was a God walking among the Earth and he knew it. He knew his status at Independence High School. Forget high school, he knew his status in town.

Miles De Blanc was the swim captain at Independence High School. He was tall, handsome, and built like a God. His deep blue eyes just melted me when I first met him. The way he runs his hand through his chocolate brown hair makes me so weak. He towers over me at 6' tall and makes me feel so safe. He has a typical swimmer's body. Lean, strong, handsome, and sexy as hell. His voice captures you the minute you hear it and he exudes such confidence.

His family is practically royalty in town. His father is Mayor of Independence and his mother is a dentist in town. His family has a long and strong political connection to our town. I wouldn't be surprised if Miles followed in his father's political footsteps.

The summer before freshman year, I fell into Miles's web and felt so honored to be in his company. I couldn't help myself! It's so sad that I allowed this and yet I often say, "Did I really, truly let this happen to me?!? Did I not see the red flags or did I choose to ignore them?!?" These questions often plague me.

Was I that naive or was I so focused on having him as my boyfriend that I missed what was clearly in my face? I find myself saying out loud, "Why do I fall for the bad boy always?" That very question haunts me daily and makes me question my own sanity. What was the allure that drew me to Miles? The attraction to boys that are not emotionally available and play with your heart and head. Was it the butterflies that they gave me or the rush of conquering them? My insecurities play havoc with my mind. It's like if I can fool them, I can fool myself into believing I am that perfect girl that every boy desires. When will I stop pretending to be something I am not and truly be my authentic self? I want to stop feeling like an imposter in my own life, but I need to get out of my own way to accomplish that. But, where do I begin?