Wildwood

16. A Castle for a Queen-2

“What are you going to name it?” I ask, pointing at the plate.

“I don’t know yet,” she says, following my gaze.

“Make sure to name it before you bring a horse home. Dad always said it was bad luck to have a barn with no name.”

“Well we can’t have that,” Vanessa says as she plants her hands on her hips. “Any ideas?”

I stare at the structure, which resembles a fortress more than a barn. Horses would be safe here. I wish Harbor could be in one of the stalls, and I envision her head emerging from a window.

“High Harbor,” I whisper my horse’s full name.

“What?” Vanessa looks at me.

“Nothing.”

“No, you said High Harbor,” she responds. “High Harbor Farm… I kind of like it. Where did that come from?”

“It’s my horse’s show name,” I say, forcing the words past a pinch in my throat.

“You’ll find her,” Vanessa says gently. “I have a good feeling about it.”

I give her a small smile despite the feeling of defeat settling in my heart every time I think of where Harbor might be. I make a mental note to call Dana as soon as I find a phone.

We walk inside the barn together. I try to ignore the cedar scent, and the row of empty stalls.

“I haven’t shown you the best part,” Vanessa says. She moves toward a little black box mounted by the staircase. “When I have horses here, I will make sure they are completely secure.” She presses a button. Thick metal doors drop over every door and window. Automatic lighting kicks on as the sunlight is completely snuffed out.

“Isn’t it great?” she asks, grinning.

“It’s definitely effective,” I respond, instantly fighting claustrophobia.

“The loft is equipped with the same security set up. You will be completely safe up there. I’m trying to learn how to use Tenix to create a barrier that Unseens can’t pass through,” she says and presses the button again. Sunlight bleeds back into the barn, and I release a breath.

“That would be great,” I confess. Vanessa heads up the stairs. I glance back at the barn aisle. Sunlight cuts across the walkway in laser beams, but something’s missing. Dust. There’s no dust in the air. Maybe it’s because no horses have been here yet, but there’s no warmth in this perfect place. The stalls are jail cells, with only the small square windows cut into the back walls, and a similar square opening above the Dutch door. The horses won’t be able to smell each other or touch noses. Predators seek caves, but prey animals like horses want wide open space and visibility. They would feel vulnerable in these stone enclaves. If Vanessa is serious about bringing horses here, I wonder if she would consider a few structural adjustments, because as the barn stands now, I can’t imagine a horse living here. For now, I keep these thoughts to myself, and follow her to the loft.

The loft is the same dimensions as the barn. A small kitchenette and a bathroom are situated closest to the door. An antique metal frame bed sits along the far wall, along with a weathered chest of drawers, and a bedside table with an old-fashioned phone a stack of books, and a lamp.

“Your snacks are in here in case you get hungry. I also grabbed a bottle of over-the-counter sleeping pills, just in case you have trouble falling asleep.” She pats the bag before setting in down on the counter. “The clothes are too. I’m sure you want to change. Just throw those scrubs in the trash.” She makes a face.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” I say softly.

“We don’t know each other all that well yet, but you strike me as the person who takes care of the people you love. I have a feeling you’d do the same for someone in need,” she answers. “Get settled, get some rest, and I’ll see you in a bit.” She waves, and disappears down the stairs.

I walk to the narrow pair of glass doors that leads to the balcony, but I don’t open them. I’m standing in the middle of a proverbial see-saw, only safe and balanced if I don’t move an inch. But I can’t stand still. I can’t wait for the Unseen world to knock me off my feet again. What was that thing that attacked us in the woods, and why didn’t it come for me first? The morbidity of the thought isn’t lost on me. I wrap my arms around myself and turn away from the window.

I lock the door, then pull off Vanessa’s boots and stow them under the bed. I thumb through the stack of clothes she packed. Fabric so soft it feels liquid brushes against my fingers. I pull out a white, jersey knit slip of a night gown. I want to rub my face on it, but I’m filthy. My arms are covered in streaks of dirt and gray grit from that Unseen creature. Suddenly, every inch of me is itchy.

I strip off the scrubs and toss them into the trash can under the kitchen sink, and then crank the hot water in the shower. Steam builds quickly in the little room, blanketing the mirror in a fog. I wipe at it, realizing I haven’t seen my reflection since my accident, but beads of water streak the glass, distorting my face. I bring my fingers to my cheeks, checking for swelling. If anything, they feel leaner and sharper than before, but then again, I haven’t eaten much in a week.

I step into the shower and under the spray, letting out a sigh as the hot water pelts my back. I prod at the wounds on my side, which I’d all but forgotten are there. Vanessa was right, the Tenix has practically healed them too. The stitches are loose and useless, the skin having already resealed. Still, something died for the Tenix she used on me.

Gray granules swirl in the floor of the shower, and the fight with the Unseen creature bursts to the front of my mind. Terror floods my veins, and suddenly I can’t catch my breath, the air too hot. My eyes move to my hands. I killed something tonight. In my heart, I know if I hadn’t, Vanessa or I, or even both of us would be dead. But I can’t help wondering if there had been any other way to survive.

I turn off the shower and lean against the tiled wall, waiting for the wave of heat to dissipate. There was no other way to leave those woods alive. My pulse quiets, and my breathing slows, but I can’t stop shaking. I towel off and slip on the night gown. Maybe I just need to eat something. I grab an apple from the bag, and take a bite. My stomach stops churning. I sigh, relieved, and finish the rest.

Even though high-noon sun is streaming in through the double doors, weariness pulls on every fiber of my being. How long has it been since I really slept? I climb into the bed, which is cloud soft, especially compared to a hospital mattress. I reach for the phone and dial Dana’s number. As the phone rings, I try to mentally separate the world I’m building with Vanessa to the world I knew before it. I can’t mention any of this to Dana. Maris cautioned that the more people who knew about Asher and the Unseen world, the more leverage Asher would have. Not to mention I would sound completely insane. The phone clicks with connection.

“Hello?” Dana’s voice comes through the receiver.

“Hey, it’s Tanzy,” I say. Even my name sounds strange in my ear.

“Tee! God, I’ve been worried sick. I called the hospital but they said you’d been discharged, so I went to your house and you weren’t there. Where are you? Are you okay?”

“I’m good. Everything is fine.” My tongue is dry in my mouth. “Mom… mom is finally getting some help. So I’m resting at a friend’s house.”

“Who?”

“Just someone from work. You haven’t met her.” The lie makes my cheeks flush. I press my hand against the side of my face.

“I’m glad for you, and for your mom. This is a big step for both of you.”

“You have no idea,” I murmur. “Is there any news about Harbor?”

“A guy on the east side of the valley reported seeing a loose white horse grazing along a back road, but the horse wouldn’t let him catch it. It sounds promising.”

“It really does.” I sit up straight.

“I’m going to have Lucas go with me to search the area. Your horse seems to have a thing for him. He kind of seems to have a thing for you,” she teases.

“Do you have his number?” I ask.

“And, maybe you have a thing for him?” Her voice lifts.

“Something like that.” I smile to myself.

“I’m taking you to lunch soon, and I want all the details.”

“There really aren’t any.”

“Not yet, maybe. Now I’m definitely going to bring him with me. He’s easier to pump for information than you are. Do you have something to write with?” she asks. I open the drawer in the bedside table. There’s a little spiral bound notebook and a pen.

“I’m ready.”

“540-555-0713,” she says, and I jot down the number. “Tanzy, there’s one more thing I need to tell you. They’re closing Wildwood. The property is going up for sale. It’s way underpriced. I don’t think it’ll be long before someone snaps it up. Probably a developer,” she adds bitterly. I close my eyes and inhale slowly. I have to stay focused. I can’t let the fate of Wildwood distract me from what’s coming, even with the idea of the pasture being graded and leveled making me ill. If I go back in time tomorrow night, how much time will pass before I’m home again? Will the farm have already sold? What if they finally find Harbor, and they can’t find me?

“Tee, are you there?” Dana asks.

“Yeah, I’m here,” I answer quietly. “Listen, if you find Harbor, and you can’t get a hold of me, just keep her with you until… until you do.”

“Why wouldn’t I be able to get a hold of you?”

“I’m not sure where I’ll be,” I answer. “I have some decisions to make.”

“I’m sure that’s an understatement,” Dana offers. “Is this the best number to reach you with for now?”

“Yes.” I scan the desk. There’s no answering machine. “It’s one of those old-timey rotary phones, so there’s no way to leave a message. Just call back when you can.”

“A rotary phone? Where the hell are you?” Dana asks with a laugh.

High Harbor Farm. The thought stirs in my mind, my heart.

“Just a friend’s house. She has… eccentric taste.”

“Sounds like it. Tanzy, it was good to hear from you. Keep me posted, okay? I’ll let you know if we find your horse.”

“Thank you,” I say, choking up again. I wonder when I’ll be able to have a conversation without a sudden wave of emotion catching me off guard.

“And get a cell phone already. Join the twenty-first century,” she quips, and I let out a laugh.

“I will as soon as I can. I promise.”

“I haven’t heard you laugh in a long time,” she says quietly. “I hope this is a new beginning for you.”

“I hope so, too,” I say. “Bye Dana.”

“Bye Tee.”

The line goes dead. I hang up the phone, doing my best to ignore the thought rising in my mind that I might not talk to Dana again. What if I go back in time and get stuck there? What if another Unseen attacks me and I lose? What if Asher decides to take me by force? Why didn’t he before? If Maris is right, and the prophecy is true, and I am Spera, my human life is on borrowed time, no matter what happens with the veil.

I lie back against the pillows, suddenly dizzy, and watch the clouds track the width of the glass doors. My mind is a mashup of pieces of information and adrenaline laced memories, and even though I don’t want to admit it, the idea of closing my eyes for too long scares me.

I pick up the phone again and dial Lucas’s number. On the fourth ring, I start to hang up.

“Hello?” his voice comes through the receiver.

“Lucas? This is Tanzy,” I say. “I got your number from Dana. I hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course it’s okay.”

“Okay.” I bite my lip. “She said y’all are going to look for Harbor soon.”

“Really? I haven’t heard from her today.”

“Well, she’ll probably call you soon.”

“Did she tell you about Wildwood.”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, Tanzy.”

“Me too.”

Neither of us speaks. I fiddle with the phone cord, struggling to think of how to say what I want to say to him, when I’m not even sure what that is.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“Where do you think we go when we die? Do you think there’s some kind of eternal place like a heaven or a hell? Or do you think there are floors in between?”