BROKEN VOWS

CHAPTER TWO

Calmness were right.

Once she were at the backseat of the Range Rover, Zivan never once looked at her again. Calmness noticed that his personal driver, Will, could feel the tension between the married couple as he played soft, jazz music to cut the uncomfortable silence that filled the vehicle.

Calmness and Zivan sat far away from each other, almost on the edge of her seats on either side of the backseat. All she could do was to look at the window and appreciate the busy city because Zivan would not talk to her and she couldn’t help but think of whether the Iceland trip was true or if he was just desperate to play the caring husband role in front of her dad.

Just as Calmness were about to ask, she tilted her head to the side to see him already looking at her with a deadpan face. However, on the broad spectrum between happiness and anger, his countenance was leaning more towards the latter.

“Was it fun trying to provoke me or something?” he accused through gritted teeth, eyebrows creasing in vexation.

Confusion had instantly spread to her face because she weren’t sure of where he was going with this.

“I’m sorry?”

As the car pulled up from the traffic light, Calmness could swear that his bright gray eyes would turn a shade darker whenever he looked at her—a very clear sign of just how much he wanted to wreck Calmness into broken pieces.

“Cut your bullshit” he snapped, frown forming his lips. “Didn’t you run away last night to get some sympathy? you wanted to get me in trouble as revenge. I didn’t take you for an attention seeker.”

Calmness took umbrage from his remarks. It was difficult to understand where Zivan’s deep-seated anger was coming from because he was even going as far as accusing her of things she didn’t even do.

“you’re the one who told me to stay away.”

“you always get what you want, do you?” he continued without even acknowledging her response. “Is this how you win someone’s love? You can’t even find anyone that’ll love you without asking your father to arrange this f*****g marriage. you’re pathetic—”

“you’re so hurtful!” Calmness cut him off as his words inflicted burning ache in her chest. The pain was cutting through her flesh and piercing through her spirit to ensure her agony. Calmness knew that she haven’t found a significant other who truly loved her for who she were, but Zivan’s way of saying it to her face was more torturous than simply rubbing salt to the wound.

“M-My dad doesn’t even know you hate me and I don’t plan on telling him.”Calmness voice cracked as she spoke with bile forming on her throat and eyes pooling of tears.

Despite the weakness that she have showed, Zivan had no scintilla of empathy for her. He showed no consideration to her feelings and how utterly cruel he was being.

In his defense, Calmness were the one to be blamed for everything.

“you expect me to thank you?”

“No.” Calmness replied, holding her tears back in. “I only expect you to be nicer. I get that you hate being with me, but-”

His face hardened before he scoffed. “you don’t understand what it’s like for me.”

“Then help me understand. Help me understand without us fighting every second.” Calmness tone was resolute with her willingness to acknowledge the difficulties that he had been facing after being married to her. If Calmness had her own sacrifices, he must have had more for him to act this way. Marriages didn’t always work for everyone, but it didn’t mean that Calmness could simply not care for him. In fact, She did care for him to a significant extent because the vows that she told him came straight from her heart. Calmness meant it when she said that she would cherish him, be there for him, and be patient with him. All he had to do was to let her do her job.

Unfortunately, Calmness didn’t even receive an answer.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with her and Zivan going to the mall and shopping just as he told her dad. Although the tension was still high, he dragged Calmness to different stores like it was hard labor by telling her to pick the outfit. Calmness wanted for the so-called honeymoon trip. There was no ounce of excitement in him, but he was insisting for her to just comply and get it over with, sounding like he was being forced to do all of this with her rather than it being on his own accord.

Considering this set up, this was indeed just obligatory for him. Calmness shouldn’t forget that this marriage was arranged and never would have happened without the mutual agreement of their families.

Neither of she could escape the wedding ordeal as much as she liked. It was a dead-end.

Was it unreasonable to keep whining about it? Maybe, but it was only Zivan who ever strongly detested it.

“We don’t have to do this” Calmness insisted. keeping up with his fast pace as he walked along the chain of boutiques that housed different luxury brands from the likes of Chanel to Ermenegildo Zegna.

“Just be quick and choose whatever you want.” he impatiently commanded as Calmness entered a luxury boutique known for its remarkable swimwear pieces. While the surprise on her face was clear, Calmness happened to have seen one of her father’s business partners inside the store as they got in. Calmness immediately saw the stretch of panic that washed over Zivan’s face before he grabbed her hand and interlaced it with his.

“Oh! If it isn’t the newlyweds” Mrs. Cruz merrily acknowledged, approaching Calmness closer with an assistant following her.

“Zivan’s taking you for shopping?”

Her husband forced a grin and caressed her hand with his thumb. “Yes, auntie. Just making sure she has everything she needs before we fly off for our honeymoon.”

The woman’s eyes gleamed with delight before she turned to Calmness and lightly cupped her cheeks. “Well that gorgeous face should look happy, then.” she pointed out, to which she responded quickly with a smile.

“Go and pick the sexiest bikini for you husband.”

Calmness hoped that the small chuckle that Calmness let out sounded genuine. “I will, Mrs. Cruz.”

Because of her presence, the tension between Calmness and Zivan have greatly lessened and Calmness might as well thank her for it. Had she not appeared, her husband never would have bothered having an arm draped and secured around her waist or having his lips pressed on her temple all for show.

Calmness hated it, only because she shouldn’t be having butterflies when he was acting affectionate. The caring gestures that he showed may not be as real as Calmness believed, but she wished that everything could just stay this way—where he treated her like a real wife and she were comfortable around him like a real husband.

“I don’t wanna wear that” Calmness shyly mumbled when Zivan pointed towards a very revealing snake-skin bikini.

“Wear it for me?” Calmness shouldn’t feel heat permeating through her cheeks when he would give her those pleading eyes.

Calmness shouldn’t get too carried away to forget what the man was like under all his facade.

Through her and Zivan’s teasing, the salesperson was almost cooing at the sight of their sweetness as a couple. She even guided Calmness into one of the dressing rooms while claiming that her husband was extremely handsome and that Calmness were lucky. Handsome? She would agree. Lucky? Calmness weren’t sure. It was hard to tell as she couldn’t weigh just how much of a wife she could act around him.

Calmness simply couldn’t wait for the day until acting was no longer an option.

There were a few things that Calmness noticed about Zivan during that quick shopping spree. First was that he was a holder of the most prestigious credit card in the world after he paid for her items with his black card despite her insistence to pay with her own.

 Second, he had more bodyguards following him around than she did, but it wasn’t surprising as he was once named one of the top ten richest bachelors under 30 by Forbes Japan. Calmness could only imagine how much he was risking his life by simply going out.

Lastly, while Calmness were busy being assisted by the staff at one of the boutiques she went to, Calmness saw him coming out of Tiffany & Co. with a small packaging on his hand that he later made Caleb carry around. Out of all the stores were they visited, that was the only place where he made a personal purchase and Calmness wondered what he could have gotten. Was it for himself?

Perhaps for her? As if he would.

Somehow, returning to the penthouse didn’t feel as uninviting than the last. The both of Calmness did her own night routine in silence—which she realized was better than arguing—and he thankfully never brought up anything about earlier events.

There seemed to be a lot going on inside his head and Calmness sympathized for how pressured he already was at work. Dealing with her was another, so her mind was slowly processing the fact that she should be more understanding and patient towards him.

Calmness should see things in his point-of-view and put herself in shoes, knowing that being married out of her will and having responsibilities sitting squarely on her shoulders would cause a man like him to be frequently hotheaded.

Because Calmness known Zivan before, she were aware that he wasn’t this inimical towards other people. She could see it now and she felt bad. Certainly, if things weren’t so forced he would never treat her with ill-intent.

Patience is a virtue, Calmness sighed in her head as she picked a pajama set from the closet, soon entering the spacious bathroom after Zivan took a quick shower before bed.

To end this long day, Calmness indulged herself with a warm bath and had beads of water cascading from the ceiling shower down to her entire naked body. her strained muscles have relaxed as soon as the water came in contact with her skin, releasing the exhaustion that she ’ve had for the past two days along with the steam that rose from the heated water.

It was crazy to think that two days ago, Calmness were a single woman and now she is married to a man that she once have grown fond of. If Calmness were back to her teenage self, she would consider herself in cloud nine.

“Sleep in bed with me tonight.”

Calmness heard the sound of the door swinging open as Zivan casually walked in amidst her soaping session. The shriek that escaped her lips as she scrambled behind the transparent glass made him roll his eyes, facing the mirror with a razor on his hand.

“H-Hey, I’m still showering!” And very clearly naked as she complained.

Perhaps Zivan’s lack of interest towards Calmness was an advantage in these instances because he genuinely didn’t give a damn at even sending a quick glance to her body. “Then shower” he muffled a response as he started scraping his jaw with an electric razor.

“You’re not even interesting to look at.”

Swallowed by her own insecurities, Calmness showered in haste and sheathed her body with a robe before Calmness left the bathroom to get dressed. She should get used to Zivan’s insulting words, but it surely left a sting behind.

Calmness chosen to keep her lips sealed by the time she climbed in bed and he was unknown to the fast beating of her heart that came along with it. The pacing of her heartbeat was upping at an unusual speed because it just hit her that this was the first time Calmness were sharing a bed together.

He didn’t particularly seem to take it as a big deal like Calmness did. As husband and wife, sleeping in one bed was one of the most domestic parts of marriage but if Zivan’s back was faced against her , Calmness couldn’t really be excited about this night. He was creating an invisible barrier that limited what she were to him. By experience alone, having him as a husband was the most difficult challenge that Calmness might soon give up on.

However, sad as it might be, Calmness weren’t really one to give up on something as valuable as marriage.

“Good night, Zivan.”

Calmness heard him yawn as he settled under the duvet, but she haven’t fallen asleep receiving not even the bare minimum in return.