MICHELLE

THE WEIGHT OF THEIR THOUGHTS

---

I arrived at school earlier than I ever had. Maybe I was just too

eager to try out my gift. I had no idea the day would end in

disappointment. Remembering Dad and Ardee's advice, I kept my

distance from Tessa and her clique.

I slipped into the classroom quietly, hoping no one would notice

me. I sat down, pulled out my diary, and started to write.

A few minutes later, Sia walked in. She strolled straight to my

desk, a sly grin playing on her lips. She looks pretty, she thought

about me. I gave her a small smile, but she only sneered before

heading to her seat.

Then Ardee came in. Just seeing him made me smile; I stood up to

meet him halfway. But then I heard it-his thoughts.

Sia looks pretty today. I wish I could give her the necklace and tell

her how I feel about her.

I stopped in my tracks. It felt like the air had been knocked out of

me. My eyes burned, tears threatening to fall.

He noticed. He walked over, placing a warm hand gently on my

head.

"Mich, are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

I couldn't speak.

"Why are you crying?" he pressed, softer this time.

I ran.

I didn't care who saw me as I bolted out of the classroom. I shut

myself inside the toilet, leaning against the door as the truth

crashed over me.

My best friend was in love with the girl who despised me.

The necklace I'd imagined was for me... was never mine to begin

with.

---

All my feelings toward him were useless. For the first time, I

regretted ever having this gift.

I stayed in the toilet for almost thirty minutes before finally

stepping out. I rinsed my face, trying to wash away the pain along

with the tears.

When I returned to class, Mrs. Nerg, our chemistry teacher, was

already there.

"Michelle, are you okay?" she asked, and immediately, every pair

of eyes in the room turned to me.

"Yes, I am," I whispered, barely loud enough to hear.

I walked back to my seat, but my mind was open, my curse

unwilling to rest. Thoughts poured into me - some soft, some

sharp like knives:

Melvin - She's such an attention seeker.

Sia - I hate her so much.

Tessa - I wish she could just die.

Kate - I feel so sorry for her... she must be going through a lot.

Ardee - Is she okay? Why was she tearing up earlier?

Drek - She looks so sad.

Their thoughts filled my head like a storm I couldn't escape. And

all I wanted... was silence

---

I opened my chemistry note, trying to focus on what Mrs. Nerg

was saying, but my mind wouldn't let me. It kept circling back to

Ardee's thought from earlier - over and over again like a wound

I couldn't stop touching.

At some point, Ardee quietly slid his own chemistry note toward

me, but I shook my head. "I'm fine," I whispered, though we both

knew I wasn't.

The class ended faster than I expected. As soon as Mrs. Nerg

walked out, the room exploded back into its usual chaos -

chatter, laughter, teasing, footsteps everywhere.

I put on my headphones and lowered my head onto the desk,

hoping the world would leave me alone for just a little while. I

wanted to disappear, just blend into the noise, unseen,

untouched.

Then - a soft tap on my shoulder.

I froze, my chest tightening. Slowly, I raised my head.

It was Ardee.

His expression was gentle but worried, his eyes searching mine

like he was trying to solve a puzzle.

"Mich," he said quietly, almost like he was afraid of breaking me

with his voice. "Can we talk?"

For a second, I wanted to scream at him, ask him why - why Sia,

why not me, why now? But the words got stuck behind the ache

in my throat.

I just stared at him, the one person I wanted comfort from... and

the last person who could give it without breaking my heart

---

"You don't look okay, Mich," he said softly, his fingers brushing

against mine as he held my hands - but I quickly pulled away.

I couldn't let emotions start to spill; I couldn't let him see the

storm in me.

"I'm fine," I replied, forcing the words out like they didn't hurt.

"Okay... if you say so." He paused, scratching the back of his neck

the way he always did when he was nervous. "Do you have

anything to do? I wanted you to come watch my fencing class."

My chest tightened instantly. Tears pricked my eyes. For a

heartbeat, I almost said yes - almost let my heart take control.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry. I... I have to do my chemistry assignment," I

lied.

He frowned. "But... we didn't get any assignment."

I dropped my gaze to the desk and bit my lip hard. "Of course we

didn't get an assignment," I muttered under my breath. "F*ck...

why did I say that?"

His thoughts brushed against me again, unguarded, quiet but

heavy.

Doesn't she wanna hang out with me?

My heart twisted. I wanted to scream the truth - that I wanted

nothing more than to be with him, that watching him fence

would have made my day - but the weight of Sia's name, Sia's

smile, Sia's place in his heart held my tongue like chains.

"I guess I'll get going now. See you later," he said, his voice low, a

little hurt.

I didn't look up as he turned and started walking away. I just sat

there, still, silent, with tears burning behind my eyes, wishing my

gift would just shut off - wishing my heart would, too.

---

"Only if he could understand how I felt," I whispered to no one,

slipping my headphones back on like a shield.During break, my

phone buzzed. It was Ardee."Hey, come join me at the cafeteria?"

he asked.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm not hungry," I replied quickly, ending the call

before my voice could betray me.

After school, he found me again. He smiled faintly - tired, maybe

worried - and said, "Want to join me on my ride home?"I shook

my head. "No... I'm going home with my dad."His eyes narrowed

slightly, not in anger, but in hurt. "Mich, I know you're lying. Your

dad's always on afternoon shift. He doesn't come to pick you up."

His voice softened. "Look... did I do anything wrong?""No, you

didn't," I said, trying to sound steady, but my chest ached. "I'm

just... not in the mood."

"Right. You're not in the mood," he repeated quietly, like he was

trying to accept it, even though it stung. Then, without another

word, he turned and walked away.I stood there, watching him

leave, my heart heavy.

Could this be me and Ardee losing our friendship slowly? I

wondered.

Deep down, I wanted things to go back to normal - the laughter,

the secrets, the way we just got each other without trying. But

now there was a wall between us, built from a truth I couldn't

unhear and feelings I couldn't untangle.

Was it really just because he liked Sia? I asked myself as I called

my driver.

An hour later, the car arrived. I got in, staring out the window the

whole ride home, quiet, numb, trying not to think - but failing

---

I got into my room, shut the door behind me, and finally let go. I

cried until my chest ached.

Was this a gift or a curse? I thought bitterly.

Every time the image of Ardee - smiling at Sia, loving her -

crossed my mind, the tears returned, harder, heavier.

Mrs. Nancy called me in for dinner, but I couldn't eat. Dad came to

check on me, gently knocking on my door, but I just shut him out.

I didn't want comfort, not from anyone. I just wanted to be alone.

My phone lit up - Ardee calling. I stared at it, my heart screaming

at me to answer, but my hand refused to move. I let it ring out. A

few moments later, a message came through.

Goodnight.

I stared at that single word longer than I should have, a quiet ache

spreading through me.

At least it was almost the weekend. I told myself I could finally

take a break - from school, from the noise, maybe even from

Ardee.

I dropped my phone on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to drift

off. But then it chimed again.

Something in me reacted before my brain did. I sat up quickly,

heart pounding, reaching for it. I didn't even know what I was

expecting.

It wasn't from Ardee.

It was a message from our class group. Megan had posted: We're

getting a new transferee in class.

"Is it a boy?" Tessa asked.

"I'm not so sure about the gender," Sia replied.

I stared at the messages for a moment, then switched off my

phone and lay back down.

Guilt crept in quietly. I felt bad for making Dad worry. I knew he'd

ask me about tonight - he always did - but I also knew I

wouldn't tell him the truth. Not about Ardee. Not about how

broken I felt inside.

So I turned to the wall, hugged my pillow tight, and wished for

sleep to come before the sadness could swallow me whole.