Find me Falling

Home, My bed and Literature books

I finally got into my room. I feel like I've been walking for hours, well that's what I get for trekking home alone. I just needed space abeg.

I went to the bathroom and took the long deserved shower I'd been itching to take. I let the cold water hit my body as I tried to erase memories of Emmanuel and all the time I've been with him. He's a jerk, I deserve better than a jerk.

I was about to get my phone out of my school bag when the loud grumbling of my stomach interrupted me.

Food, right. I quickly dashed downstairs and made some instant noodles. I kept eating the noodles even when it was still cooking.

I was starving actually, it's not easy to walk all the way back home alone when my mind is clouded with the thoughts of an Ex who still wants me to stick around.

I climbed back upstairs to my room and finally got the phone out of my bag. Immediately I turned on the data, my phone kept vibrating and beeping with messages from various groups and individuals.

I managed to see one from my Bestie.

°°° Why did you leave the hall so early today? I was looking for you. You must fill me in on all the details oh,I don't know what's going on between you and Emmanuel again°°°.

Gosh. This boy is so dramatic, he'll be shocked to know the current state of I and Emmanuel's relationship. Speak of the devil, I could see a message from him through my notifications bar.

°°° Babe please, just give me a chance to explain myself. We haven't talked since the incident. I miss you like crazy pookie. I can't even study properly I'm a me......°°°

That was as far as the notification would let me see, why do I even want to see? I thought I blocked him sef.

If he like he should not read for his exam that one is his business. Wait oh, READ!!!!

I have a serious Literature exam next tomorrow and I'm here playing. Don't get me wrong, I finished my literature textbooks and my school notes when I was reading for Jamb and even after Jamb, but the novels, plays and poems recommended for WAEC are still untouched.

Where do I even want to start from, is it that huge book Invincible Man abi Native Son that I don't even understand.

I guess I'll start with the poems.

I spent most of my day doing what they call literary analysis. I indicated all the figures of speech in each poem and even did a brief run down on the poet's background.

My favorite was Black Woman by Leopold Sedar Senghor ." I even memorized the poem subconsciously

" Naked woman, black woman

Clothed with your colour which is life

With your form which is beauty !

In your shadow I have grown up; the gentleness of your hands was laid

over my eyes.

And now, high up on the sun-baked pass, at the heart of summer,at the heart of noon,

I come upon you, my Promised Land,

And your beauty strikes me to heart like the flash of an eagle."

This poet is so passionate about the black woman.

I wonder if I could be as passionate as the Persona towards something.

I always wanted to study Law ever since I was little but is it my passion?.

Especially the way Nigerian lawyers are always at crossroads, I want to be as upright as Justice Oputa but that seems so unrealistic judging from the century we're in now.

I hopped on my bed and started reading plays. Works of drama were always the most stressful for me because I had to make an indepth study on all the characters and who said what, as well as the theme, setting and most importantly, the plot.

After what felt like days, I managed to finish studying all the plays assigned for us. I decided to take a quick shower and go to bed. I was way past hunger as I couldn't even keep my eyes open anymore.

My body is not firewood abeg, it's someone that's alive that will write exam. I dozed off on my bed and made a mental note not to overwork myself again.

•••• Exam Day ••••

The atmosphere was so tense today. Since this was an afternoon paper, the scorching hot sun wasn't even helping matters.

Science students were busy cramming formulas and calculating what I don't know. I guess it's because they're having chemistry that's why.

Some art students were still reading literature books like their lives depended on it. Well it kind of did.

I sighted one particular boy reading three books at the same time. What really got me is the fact that one of them was The invincible Man with another novel and A Midsummer night's dream by Shakespeare. I laughed to myself, how does he want to understand it all at once. Na wa oh.

It's not like I was so prepared. It was just yesterday I managed to finish all the Novels I'd been avoiding since. I even revised my textbooks last night and this morning.

Still not prepared enough.

"Please abii you're an art student ? " the external student asked me.

"Yeah, I am".

" Do you know how this book ended" he was referring to Shakespeare's play.

" After the wedding between the three couples, Puck informed us that we should not think of it as much, and that if we do, we should bear in mind that it was all a dream".

The guy looked at me like I was speaking Swahili for him. Even me I felt somehow telling him that, cause I couldn't believe it myself. Shakespeare is so good at using the element of surprise and I find myself falling for it every single time. I think it's what gives his work a flair for the dramatic.

I and the guy bursted out in uncontrollable laughter and it was the first time I'd laughed genuinely in weeks.

" All these writers and poets eh , they'll just open mouth Waaah and talk rubbish and still end up succeeding in their careers." He complained.

I couldn't help but laugh again. He was right, some of the things they write don't even make much sense. But to someone who appreciates the literary art, it's a masterpiece.

" If it's like that everybody will succeed na , no stress " I said. we laughed at my sarcastic statement but silence fell everywhere as the invigilators' arrived. It was time for our exam, I didn't glance through my book, and I'm seating in front. So help me God.

******************************

I was finally out of that hall, still sweating. The exam was actually easy, but literature demands a lot of writing, my hands were still shaking sef.

Most of the science students were done surprisingly, guess they read well. I wanted to go home to sleep. I was so grateful our next paper was sometime next week, which was good enough for me.

"Favour hafa" I turned back to see who was calling me and I was met with the external student from earlier.

"Heyyyyyyy..." I dragged the hey with a puzzled expression, forgetting that I don't even know his name yet.

"Collins. Can I have your number ?, you seem like someone I can vibe with" he admitted while scratching the back of his head nervously.

He seemed to have picked up that I don't know his name. Before I could reply, someone else beat me to it.

" No, you cannot have anything" he said to Collins with a cold glare ruining his features.

I and Collins shared the same confused expression. I ignored him and went ahead to save the number on Collins's phone, then I called myself with his line and saved his number on my phone. We said our goodbyes as he had somewhere else to be, so he left before I did.

It was left with me and him, Emmanuel.

"Why can't you stop disturbing my life" I told him coldly.

"Why would you give a random guy your number, you don't even know him. That's unlike you pookie, you hate giving out your number to strangers. " His voice was much more softer and calm, like he didn't want to scare me away. I guess he didn't get the message I was trying to pass with the evident scowl on my face.

Luckily I sighted my bestie and called out to him. Abeg he should come and save me from this awkward conversation.

" Fay fay, how far na, how are you doing " Fidel asked me inspecting my face. Realization hit him as he noticed Emmanuel standing next to me.

" Oh oh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything " he asked us this time.

" Yes you are, please give us some space"

" Dey play, interrupting what ?"

We said at the same time.

Fidel looked at us like we had something sticking out of our nose.

" Are you staying or are you going" he asked me starting to get annoyed.

" Bestie let's go abeg". We started proceeding down the stairs when he blocked my path again, my breath hitched in my throat.

" Ah, see me see trouble, LEAVE HER ALONE NA !!, If she doesn't want to talk to you go and read for your next paper stop following her like lost puppy " Fidel interfered and pulled me out of there.

Good thing he did because our faces were getting a little too close for comfort as I could feel his breath fanning my face. Though his intense gaze was still on me and he didn't even try to hide it.

" Guy please calm down, I just want some alone time with her, we need to talk" he tried to plead but Fidel wasn't having any of it.

" Do you want some aloooneee time with him " he made sure to wiggle his brows while saying the alone.

Gosh this is so embarrassing, the fact that amebos were entertaining themselves with this scene. And Fidel was not helping any matters by shouting.

Soon enough some of my friends I usually go home with approached us. Their facial expressions changed as they caught on to what was going on.

" Emmanuel if she doesn't want to talk to you leave her alone let's go home abeg " Godsfy spoke up eying him.

Godsfy is my very good friend and I told her about the whole thing and how I broke up with him. She was glad cause she never liked the idea of me and him together.

" Can I know my offense?" He directed it to Godsfy, Emmanuel hated it when people eyed him whether it was when girls ogled at him or any form of eying.

" You guys have been acting as her mouthpiece since this conversation started, can I hear her voice now ?".

" I don't want some alone time with you, neither do I want to talk to you " I told him with tear filled eyes.

The whole time I was talking he kept looking into my eyes as I uttered every word, as if searching for something, the truth.

" Lies" he said, more in a whisper tone, but I heard it.

I, bestie and Godsfy quickly descended down the stairs, pushing our way through the crowd that we didn't even know was there.

I wasn't even surprised, Emma was the schools' heartthrob , a lot of girls liked him and most guys hated him for that . Which implied that anything he did and any girl he was dating would automatically attract people's attention. Lucky me.

" But favour, what's going on between you and Emmanuel abeg I'm lost " Fidel asked. Oh, I forgot I haven't told him yet.

" We broke up and he hasn't gotten the message" I replied so casually which earned me stares from Godsfy and Fidel.

" Ah, our class couple !! Remember when you guys said you'll get married" He laughed hysterically.

Well this wasn't the response I was expecting from him. That means he was never in support of our relationship sef.

" So you didn't like him and you never told me " I pouted.

" How could I burst your bubble when you were so happy with him. You were always grinning from ear to ear " he teased .

" But wait oh, who served the breakfast and who collected ? "

"Obviously she served it and he collected, that's why he's moping around like that " Godsfy answered him.

I couldn't help but laugh, my friends have bad mouth oh. We parted ways as I finally reached my street.

I was thinking about home and my bed, but if I see another literature book eh, I swear even the title I no go read.