Diary of Secrets (bxbxbxb)

Chapter 17

"Look at all the lights!" I yelled at we approached the carnival's entrance. Like I had mentioned before, the lights at night were beautifully perfect. Granted the sun was just setting, but soon enough they will glow against the night sky. The ride here was about an hour and a half, I took a nice cat nap on the way here so I was feeling refreshed and ready for the eventful night.

"What do you want to do first? Games or rides?" Damon asked us, his arms wrapping around Sebastian's waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. I admired their stance as Sebastian ran his fingers over the arms wrapped around him. I feel like they have a different bond to each other than to Dakota and I. Which is completely fine because I know Dakota and I have a closer bond to each other than we do with the twins. We all love each other equally, so I have no doubts in our relationship. My guess is that them being twins, has lots to do with their bond and Dakota and I sharing a room our whole lives has to do with ours. 

"Games!" both Dakota and I exclaimed at the same time while Sebastian replied with a "Doesn't matter to me" 

"Alright, let's start with the ring toss" Damon pointed to the closest booth to us. This game sucks, and is totally rigged for no one to win. With multiple attempts on my behalf, unsurprisingly, I got nothing. Damon almost got a ring around one but then it hopped off last second. Sebastian on the other hand, with lots of concentration, got a ring around one of the bottles. The game person asked which stuffed animal he wanted and he chose the toothless dragon. He took it and grinned happily, hugging it to his chest. He looked like a small child again. I was kind of jealous though cause I wanted a stuffed animal but we just started with the games. After Dakota's failed attempts, we moved on to the game where you face off against everyone to see who can spray their balloon to pop first. 

Luckily no one else was at the booth so it was just between us. The countdown started and then as soon as we were able to, all of our water guns began spraying. I was trying my hardest to stay centered but Damon's balloon was filling up the fastest, Dakota's close to his, Mine and then Sebastian's. I don't think Sebastian is trying to hard since he won a stuffy already. Of course, Damon's popped first and he glanced at me before he picked out a Pikachu stuffy. 

"Pikachu, I choose you" he cheesily said while he held it out for me.

"Aww Damon, you didn't have to" I told him as I bounced with excitement that he wanted to give it to me.

"I wanted to love" he replied with his perfect smile, I beamed and leaped on him while giving his cheek a kiss. 

"Thank you, Daddy" I whispered in his ear so only he heard. I pulled back and gave a flirty wink and he chuckled. We made our way to the basketball hoop where Dakota got excited. I wasn't too good at shooting hoops, so I refrained from this one. Damon and Dakota sat in line to wait for their shots while Sebastian and I stayed back. 

"When did you guys start?" I asked out of the blue. I was genuinely curious on how long things have been happening between them. He smiled at me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders guiding us to a lonely bench sort of by the exit of the game. He kept his arm around me as we watched Dakota and Damon chit chat in line. There were about ten people before Damon and Dakota, so it was gonna be a few minutes.

"Well, back in high school when Damon and I were Seniors is when we happened. It was kind of the cliché. I'm in love with my brother, is something wrong with me kind of thing. I'm sure you had the same thoughts" he started out with a chuckle and I nodded in agreement. He continued "Well anyway, I started finding Damon attractive at a young age but I didn't realize it was the kind of attraction that was love based. At first, I thought it was just admiration, but then I understood my feelings more when we entered middle school when I started having dreams about him" He blushed and I giggled, he's so cute when he blushes. 

"Anyway, hiding the fact that I loved him for years was hard. I don't know if you remember but we actually drifted apart until senior year.... I couldn't be around him, afraid he would find out. He actually thought I started to hate him, and I guess he couldn't take it anymore and during senior year he confronted me about why I was so distant throughout the years" he said with a distant look in his eyes, like he was reliving those days.

"We had a yelling match and one thing led to another, I kissed him in mid argument because well he's super sexy angry and I couldn't help myself" He smirked.

"I concur" I said with a smile.

"And much to my surprise he kissed back with no hesitation. After that we had a conversation about mutual feelings and that we'd have to keep it secret.....It worked until a year ago when Dakota walked in on us and that boy had no ounce of shyness asking to join" He laughed "No offense to you though, you're different"

"It's fine" I reassured "So did you guys, like want us to join you two?" I asked curiously

"If you're asking if we were attracted to you two as well. Yes, around you entering high school. However, with the age difference, Damon and I didn't want to act on our attraction toward you and Dakota until you two were old enough. I mean we already felt like sickos being in love with each other. Saying that we loved our two younger brothers as well would just add to the sicko level" He said. I nodded in understanding.

"I just notice that you and Damon have this different bond...that's why I asked" I said quietly, thinking about today's earlier thoughts.

"I understand that, but just remember that we love you and Dakota just the same" he said pulling me closer to him, making my head lay on his shoulder.

"I know, just checking, I mean I came to terms that Dakota and I have a different bond as well" I said fiddling with the Pikachu stuffy.

"Yes, you do.....and do you feel the same about Damon and I, like you do with Dakota?" he asked 

"Of course!" I exclaimed looking up at him

"Okay, then no worries, right?" he smiled down at me.

"Yeah but you know me, overthinking everything" I grumbled and he kissed my forehead

"Yes my love, I know" he said and he laid his head on mine as we watched our brothers get closer to the front of the line. 

"How are you feeling with everything?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

"Wonderful actually, it's so weird that my dreams are coming true with you guys" I blushed. Sebastian is just too easy to talk to. Like a no judgement zone, we have a strong emotional side to ourselves, so its easier to relate to each other. "Bash?" I said softly, embarrassed about what I'm going to be asking. 

"Hmm?" he hummed, drawing imaginary shapes on my shoulder with his finger. 

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" I asked blushing furiously. 

"Of course, you can sleep with me any night you want love" he replied happily.

"N-no, I mean...sleep sleep with you" I whispered. Oh my god, I'm going just simply pass away from embarrassment. Who asks to sleep with someone like that? Doesn't it just happen when the moments right. I mentally facepalmed myself. 

"Oh" he said in realization and cleared his throat. f**k, way to go Jace. 

"Sorry..sorry, forget I asked" I said covering my face. He shifted so his body was facing toward mine more and he gently took my hands from my face.

"No Jay, I was just surprised...I just want to know if you're really ready for that yet?" he asked with genuine concern. I looked up into his piercing blue eyes, nodding my head. 

"I've loved and wanted you guys for so long now, and these past couple days with each of you makes me certain that I want to take it to the next level" I told him confidently. Being in our own little bubble, we didn't realize that Damon and Dakota had already taken their turn and popped up in front of our bench.

"Everything okay over here?" Damon asked with worry. 

"Yep" I popped the 'p' and Dakota was holding two mega stuffed animals. A tiger and a penguin. 

"I won these for you two" He said handing me the penguin and Bash the tiger. 

"Awww you remembered our favorite animals!" I said happily, getting up and giving him a tight hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek. 

"Well they didn't have a lion or wolf for Damon and I so I went with your guys favorites" he teased. I looked over and seen there was in fact a lion and wolf stuffy hanging with the others.

"Liar" I said with a smile. We played a few more games and I won a small minion to give to Matt. Damon won a couple games winning smaller stuffies, getting a wolf for Dakota and a teddy bear for Sebastian. We stopped for a food break with funnel cakes, hot dogs and cheese curds before continuing with more games. By the time we ended our game adventure, the night sky was dark and starry.

"Rides!" I yelled. We went and put the stuffed animals in Damon's Chevy before going to the spinning tea cup ride. We all squeezed into a tea cup and we tried going as fast as we could while the ride went. We were all laughing hysterically, feeling dizzy as we spun round and round. We got off and I was feeling queasy as hell, so I sat out the next ride as I calmed my stomach down. Damon sat with me as Sebastian and Dakota when on the spinning ride that makes you feel glued to the side of the ride.

"What do you think about me getting my ears pierced?" I ask Damon randomly. I've been debating on it forever.

"I think you should do what you want" He said

"Well yeah, but would they look okay on me?" I asked him 

"Of course, you could probably wear a potato sack and it'd look sexy on you" he winked at me and I shoved his shoulder as Dakota and Sebastian came out of the ride exit. We went on the swing ride next, that lifts you in the air. I am slightly afraid of heights but the adrenaline I get from doing it, is why I continue to do the high rides. We went on the roller coaster they had, then went on a couple others before we stepped in line for the Ferris wheel. 

"I want to go on the Ferris wheel in Nevada" I commented while we waited in line "It's the tallest one in the world" 

"Maybe we will make a trip out there for your birthday" Sebastian told me and I looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Really?!" I asked excitedly and he nodded

"Man I should've said I wanted to go to Universal studios then" I pouted then laughed at his glare "Kidding kidding...slightly, but seriously Vegas would be fun" I said as we were now next in line. The seats were two seaters so Dakota and I were going to share and Sebastian and Damon were going to share. The Ferris wheel slowed and the two occupying the seat got up and left and then the ride attendant ushered Dakota and I into the seats. The wheel inched around to let Damon and Sebastian in the next seats. The process repeated and then Dakota and I were at the top. I tilted my head back and breathed in the nice pine smell while looking at the moon. Then I observed the dark area surrounding the glow of the carnival lights and then looked over the edge and slightly freaked out from looking straight down to the ground. I calmed down as Dakota grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers.

"I got you" he said softly and I turned to smile at him. 

It's not a romance movie, so when he looked into my brown eyes, there was no fireworks surrounding us but that was okay. The intensity of our gaze made up for it, and it felt like the time of our almost kiss in our room. The blossoming in my chest appearing as I stared into his emerald eyes, causing my body to heat up and my heart to beat fast. Which also could've been from the nerves of the heights but I'd like to think it's from the former. He brought both of his hands to cup my face and then slowly, I fluttered my eyes closed as he brought my face closer to his. Our lips meeting in a sweet tender kiss, and my hands held on to his wrists softly to keep him there.