In His Time

My Journey Continues...

Life has never been the same for me for me, I realize that being alone does not mean being lonely. Moreover, being lonely does not mean being always happy. I learn to be happy in my sadness and be thankful for everything that God gave me. Nevertheless, as far as I can remember, there is no time that God allowed it for me to be sad. God gave me joy to overcome my sadness, gladness in times of distress and contentment in times of difficulties. He is the source of my strength when I feel down and my stream of joy in my desert of sadness.

I have also seen life through the eyes of different people. I also learn that there are many people who seem to be alright yet have emptiness in their hearts. There are still many people who do not know whom to hold on to in times of turmoil in their lives. I realize what it means to be the salt of the earth. [“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.” Matthew 5:13 (NASB)] Sharing the Good News to these people will encourage them and help them find a friend in Jesus. Life is a constant struggle. It is not made easy, yet if we have Jesus by our side, it eases the struggle. He will make you see life from a different perspective, a more colorful and beautiful place. Just like a shepherd, He will carry you in His arms at times you feel like you are alone. His rod and His staff will be your comfort. (Psalms 23:4 NASB)

It was August of 2005. I felt pains in my abdomen and so my friends advised me to see a doctor. I thought it was just something not to worry about. I thought I was just constipated and that it was just an ordinary pain. Then, when they finished the laboratories and everything, the doctors told me that the cancer had recurred. At first, I thought again of my family in the Philippines. Yet God gave them the strength when I told them about it. We prayed together and we constantly talked on the phone. I praise God for these circumstances, for I know He has greater plans for me. Each day that I live is a great blessing from the Lord. For me to be able to minister to different people, I was able to see many places that alone I am so thankful. Then, come October of the same year, the doctor told me I had to undergo a colonoscopy. As a human, fear overwhelms my being, thinking that I will be helpless and I was thinking how I would ever survive that ordeal. God’s love and mercy through my friends encouraged me that everything would be fine. I had my surgery in the same month and, indeed, it is okay. My friends took care of me and I was able to live life again. I thank God for the strength and comfort He gave me. But then, come November, the doctors told me that I had metastasis already and that I had better decide if I wanted to stay in New Jersey or go back to the Philippines. I prayed about it. God knows I have no means to go back to the Philippines. Nevertheless, God paved the way for me, some of my friends helped me and I was able to go back to the Philippines on November 30, 2005.

My journey is still on. Since I arrived in the Philippines, I have been in battle. I have come and gone out of the hospital. We cannot understand what God’s plan in our lives is. [“However, it is written: No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV] We just have to wait for God’s perfect timing. Thanking Him whatever our situation may be. Believing that in Jesus, we have a future and hope. He is our light on the darkest path of your life. His words will be our daily bread. Knowing Jesus is the greatest thing in our lives.

Many were surprised about my condition because they did not know that I was sick again. I tried to still go to church, but my body is failing me. My friends and my church in New Jersey kept on helping me with my medication and hospitalizations. They kept in touch with me and they often prayed for me. My family would sing with me along with my siblings and my nieces and nephews. Then my "son" came and visited me. I thought he had forgotten about me, but no. To my surprise, he knows me and still calls me Mama. Then the day came when my ex-husband came and visited me. We talked and he asked forgiveness. I know God wants us to be forgiving and not hold grudges to anyone. I finally found the peace I needed and I put all the past behind me. I am still a work in progress and I am waiting to see the plan God has for me.

Let it be our earnest desire to serve Him that we may be able to tell when He calls us “Here I am Lord”. To be able to serve allows Him to complete His plan in our lives. I am still on my journey and whatever is God’s plan for me ……THY WILL BE DONE. I will look forward to being what He wants me to be and to seeing Him face to face. The pains in our lives try to rob us of God’s blessings, and the joy of His fellowship. May this be a testimony of God’s sovereignty, His glory and unfailing love and miracle.

Bless Your Holy Name. Hallelujah! All for Your Glory! Amen.

On May 22, 2006, two days after I finished writing her life story, she edited it herself. She passed away and has a smile on her face.

She was motivated to still hold to make sure I was able to write down her story for many people to read about it.

We are often faced with problems that we seldom notice the beauty of the things around us. Have you ever noticed how beautiful a ray of sunlight is?

You may feel devastated, torn, broken, crushed and badly beaten or you may find everything lost. God is always there; He knows everything and anything. It is not a myth. He is real! May you find the succeeding pages helpful for you to push forward whatever you are facing right now. I hope that you get inspired and see that, even at the weakest point of your life, God is always carrying you in His arms. That our Father is just beside you. He is just a prayer away.

Ruth