First Love First Sin

8

When God found out about what Caid did to Abel He cursed Cain for his sin, " I  curse you, Cain, for what you have done, with eternal life. You will die when the world ends, when the sun rises from the west and sets in the east, when the second judgment will take place. No one and nothing will be able to take your life!" God said, deeply saddened by his behavior. "You will roam the earth long and wide, without being able to connect to any particular place for too long. Nowhere will you feel accepted, because you, Cain, are the renegade son of the Earth. I curse you and curse the earth that opened to receive Abel's blood. " 

    Adam and I pledged to Him not to be so severe. But God's wrath was big and we ended up being cursed the same as our son. With an eternal life. A life too long that will be full of tears and sufferings. God then told us " You dare to plead for your son? For the devil's son? You unfaihful woman!"

    Adam did not knew until then that Cain was Lucifer's son. We were two hundred and eighty years old. That was our first fight and separation.

"How could you do that to me Eve?" he asked me in pain. He was now paying a curse because of a son that was not his but the devil's. " Was I bad to you? Did I treat you bad? Is this some kind of revenge? How could you sleep with the devil, bare his child and let me think it is mine, and let me raise him and feed him and love him??... how? You bad woman!

I remember trying to explain myself but the words woudn't come out from my mouth. I was guilty as charged. What was there  left to tell? That I enjoyed myself in the devil's arms, more than I enjoyed  it in all my life?  That I felt guilty but the fact remained that I loved it and that deep down my body always longed for him? How could I explain that I loved him with all my heart and that I couldn't see my life without him and yet I have a weakness for the devil that harmed us in many ways. 

He was mad with rage. He felt so sad and dissapointed. It was the first time that I saw him cry. He looked me deep in the eyes and told me : I reject you as my wife. I reject you as my soulmate. From now on you are free and so am I! If there is someone to take care of you like I did...let that someone be the devil that you love and cherish" 

    He abandoned me for two hundred years. Lucifer visited me again after my first hundred years of abandonment. He again seduced me and played the card of being my protector. I felt safe again, after a long time, a time I was almost eaten alive three times by the savage creatures that roamed the Earth. There were many days and many nights that I would starve or I would freeze to death. 

When Lucifer came it was night. I was out there, covered in leafs, trying to make myself warm. I was trembling and crying, cursing myself, Adam and the devil for my sorrow. and then i heard his voice :

" Why so sad my dear? "

"You?! What are you doing here? What do you want from me? Haven't you taken already all from me?"

"And you still blame it on the devil! Why don't you assume your wrongs? It's true! I came to you but I did not force you to receive me in your arms. The decision was all yours."

"Ok ! It was all my fault!" I grawled back at him. " Now what? I am here, all alone, mauled by the savage creatures, starved to death but guess what...can't die! So it's just a neverending torture. Parched to death, because I can't find water easily...but you already know...I can't die! Did you came to make sure I pay greatly for my mistake? Well I do!"

"Actually I was thinking abput you and kinda of missed you. I liked when I had you in my arms and I came back for you 20 years ago but you weren't there anymore. I searched for you in all this time. You could give me at least some credit for this."

I looked into his eyes and I knew he was telling me a deceitful truth. But I was tired, hungry and deeply hurt. He was my weakness and he knew that. He came to me when I was so vulnerable. How to resist him?

I spent 10 years with him by my side. Ten years in which I could swear I felt he really cared about me. 

He was sweet and protective and yet so snarky and superior. I loved his arrogance and yet I despised him for it. 

We made love night after night, with some exceptions and I would lose myself in his arms. In that time I thought I forgot Adam and in a way I did loved him. I forgave him for all that happened because of him, 

After the first 3 years he became frustrated because I woudn't get pregnant. But iwas so blinded by my attraction to him that I couldn't see beyond his anger. I thought he was frustrated because he wanted a child with so he could raise him as a father should. I thought he wanted to do what he coudn't do with Cain. 

It took 5 years to get pregnant again. Five beautiful years, filled with care and love. I know...you are probably thinking that I still deceive myself, after all this time. I haven't said his way it is not an egoistic and hurtful way of loving. But it's the only way he knows...

  I gave birth to Ayperos, a baby boy that had Lucifer's dark hair and deep black eyes. That birth was especially painful and the labour was so bad that even though I knew I can't die, in those moment I thought I might...or I wished I could, so it could go away that pain. The nice part is that he was there, by my side, helping me and caring for me. He took the child and washed him with a cloth. I remember that scene so vividly, like it was yesterday. He  smiled so sincere and his look on his face was so warm and lovingly. I was crying tears of pain, exhaustion and joy. 

Lucifer held the baby in his arms and whisperd in his ear. " Your name will be Ayperos. You will be my prince,my second child,  my second in command.

My beloved devil then spent another 5 years with us. He took care of us, provided us food and love. Every day was full of smiles and with him by my side I felt like I was in Heaven all over again. 

But then, in one day, he just got up from our bed, looked me angry and said in a decisional tone: 

" Well love, it was nice while it lasted, and how all good things must come to an end, ours ends here"

I was in shock! 

"What? Why? Have I done something wrong?"

"No! But I am not human. I am not meant to be a husband. Clearly you fell in love with me. But I am not meant to love a woman. I could say that I am sorry for making you sad, but I know I am actually doing the right thing. So...

"Please! don't do that! Don't leave me all alone. Don't do this to me!! The child is still so small. How will he ever survive?"

"You will receive food and water. But you won't see me again for a while. Until you recover a little. "

He spread his beautiful and majestic wings and flew away, leaving me abandoned with a small child. 

He kept his word and we never had problems with food or water. I found my peace in my child. 

I often found myself thinking of Lucifer and sometimes at Adams. When I was thinking at Adam I was feeling always so guilty and with a sharp pain in my heart because of my connection with him. Lucifer was an obssesion while Adam was my True Love, so I would rather choose to think about Lucifer because it was easier for my conscience.

  After 45 years my devil returned. I remember I was so happy to see him. But he came once again to hurt me. He took  Ayperos from me when he was at the age of 50 years old and let me tell you that 50 years old back then was like 18 years old now. Ayperos at 50 was like a fully grown teenager.