Bound in Silence

Chapter 5: Stay With Me

Lillia

Rimi was there, at the mall. I saw her walk past the window of the s*x shop, and I tried so hard to tell Cassian. He treated me like I was stupid.

As excited as I am by my new clothes, it’s overshadowed by his treatment of me.

He’s forcive, and impatient.

It’s still better than living with my mother, so I’m trying so hard to not anger him. It’s impossible.

We make it back to his house, and he makes me give all my new clothes to the maids.

My heart is crushed, then quickly repaired, as I later find all of them hung up in my closet with the paper tags cut off.

Cassian brings me to my room, then tells me to go to bed. I hope he stays with me, because the mate bond is pulling at me, making me crave his presence. Though I know he doesn’t like seeing me naked for some reason. Maybe he doesn’t like my figure?

After I turned 18, my mother began selling me to some of the customers of the club. She didn’t even tell me what I would be doing the first time. She just shoved me into one of the private rooms without clothes on, and told me to do whatever they asked me to.

I eventually got used to it, and it was the one thing that kept her from physically hurting me. If she didn’t hit me all day, I knew what was coming later. Some of them were actually kind, but many made fun of my body shape. Maybe Cassian doesn’t like my body shape.

He opens my closet, and pulls out a pair of soft shorts, and a plain shirt— some of what he got from the store in the mall.

I guess he wants me to wear this now?

But I thought he doesn’t like it when I undress, so I stare at him, confused.

He gets that same annoyed look he always gets whenever I don’t understand what it is he wants me to do.

If only he would just make it clear what he wants from me.

“Do you want me to leave?”

I shake my head. I really don’t want him to leave.

“I’ll just turn around then, put your pajamas on.”

I don’t do it. Partly out of not understanding why, but mostly out of just wanting to be defiant.

He turns back around after hearing my stillness. He’s annoyed again, but so am I.

“You’ve been wearing that sundress all day, you should change.” Then he comes closer, and pulls the straps off my shoulders.

So now he does want me to take off my clothes? I’m so bothered by his inconsistency.

I finish taking off the dress, but I don’t know why he wants me to put different clothes on if I’m going to sleep. So I don’t put on the shorts or the shirt, and I hop under the covers quickly, hoping to not give him enough time to make fun of my body.

He looks confused at my actions, but throws the clothes back into my closet.

He heads for the door, and the prospect of him leaving me causes a spike of fear. I knock on the headboard, to get his attention.

“What?” He says

I throw my pillow at him. He’s so stupid, does he expect me to give him an answer?

When he brings my pillow back, I grab his wrist.

He reaches for his phone, but I don’t need it, so I grab his other wrist too. I’m not good at typing, can’t he just understand me? Like Rimi did.

“What is it?”

I tug on his wrists more, trying to pull him down.

“You want me to stay here?”

I nod. Finally he gets it.

He comes onto the bed in the space next to me, but he keeps his clothes on and doesn't come under the covers. This makes me worried that he’s going to leave once I fall asleep.

Why doesn't he seem to want me as much as I want him?