He Smiled as I Bled

The Restraining Order I Tore Up

The hospital discharged me at10:14AM

Lena was already in the lobby, arms crossed, eyes red from lack of sleep and pure rage, she looked like she's been fighting the front desk for an hoir, when she saw me in the wheelchair, something in her face broke.

"You look like hell," she said. "so ive been told." i muttered.

She didn't hug me,not yet, instead she grabbed the wheelchair handles and wheeled me out without asking if i was ready, that was Lena, action first, feelings later.

In the car, she didn't say anything till we were on the highway. "Pack a bag," she said.

"What?"

"You're moving in with me today, i'm not arguing."

"Lena, I can't"

"You can't stay there," she cut me off, "not after what happened, not him having your keys, your address, your everything, i've been watching you do this for three years,Aliya, I'm done watching."

Three years she counted,

I wanted to argue, i wanted to say i was fine, that it was a misunderstanding, that Mark was sorry, the words died in my throat because i remembered the feeling of falling, i remembered the copper taste in my mouth.

"Okay," I said.

Her shoulders dropped half an inch "Okay"

---

Her apartment was small, two bedroom, and smelled like jasmine candles and takeout, it was safe, it was normal, it was everything.my apartment with Mark hadn't been in years.

She made sit on the couch while she brought me soup, painkillers, and a thick blanket.

"Doctor said rest for 48hours," she said, handling me the meds. "no work, no stress, no Mark, if he calls you don't answer , if he texts you don't reply, if he shows up, call me or jake."

"Jake?"

"My friend from the precint, he's a cop now, he said he'd keep an eye on the case."

I nodded , i didn't tell her that hearing Mark's name makes my hands shake.

That night, i couldn't sleep, every sound from the hallway made me sit bolt upright, everytime my phone lit up, i expected it to be him, it wasn't not yet.The restraining order arrived the next morning.

Lena handed me the envelope like it was a live grenade, "you have to sign this.Aliya, it's the only way he stays away legally."

I stared at the papers, temporary restraining order, 500 feet, no contact, no workplace visits, no third-party messages.

It felt final, it felt like burning a bridge I'd been standing on three years.

"I can't," I whispered,

"Why not?" Lena's voice was careful, too careful.

"Because if i sign this, he'll know I'm serious, and if he knows I'm serious...he'll get worse."

"He's already worse," Lena said quietly, "he tried to kill you,Aliya."

I signed it.

My handwriting looked shaky and foreign on the paper.

---

The first text came three hours later, unknown number, but i knew.

"I miss your voice, call me please." I deleted it.Then another,

"I saw you leave the hospital, you look pale, are you eating?"

How did he know? I blocked the number, another came through, then another.

He was using different phones,burners,he'd done this before, but never like this, never this fast.

Lena found me on the bathroom floor at 2AM, phone in hand, tears i didn't remember crying drying on my cheeks.

"Give me the phone," she said,

I did,

She read through the messages, her face going colder with each one.

"Okay," she said "we're going to the precinct tomorrow, you;re filing a violation report, he's breaking the order already

I didn't argue, i couldn't.

---

Work was worse

I tried to go back on day because sitting in Lena's apartment made me feel like i was waiting to die, Big mistake.

Mark was outside the building when my shift ended.

He didn't come close, he stood across the street, hands in his pockets,watching like i was a stray cat he was waiting to coax home.

I walked the other way, he followed, keeping his distance."Aliya!" he called once, just my name, soft like we were still us.

I didn't turn around.

The next day, he was at the coffee shop across from my office.

The day after that, he "accidentally" bumped into me in the elevator."fancy seeing you here," he said, smiling like we were running into each other at a party, his eyes were red, he hadn't slept. I stepped out of the 4th floor instead of the 7th.

Lena started walking me to and from work, jake started checking the security feeds.

It didn't stop.

If anything, it got worse.

---

Two weeks after i moved in, a package arrived at Lena's apartment. No return address, no note.

Inside was a locket, silver, tarnished, when i opened it, there was a photo of me.it was from the night of the balcony, my hair was a mess, my face was red from crying, and Mark's arm was around my shoulder, i looked like i was trying to smile.Only Mark could have taken that photo.

My hands started shaking so hard, the locket fell on the floor. Lena picked it up, her face white, "we're calling the police.Now"

"No," I said too fast.

"Aliya"

"If we call them, he'll know I'm scared, and if he knows I'm scared, he wins," Lena stared at me like i slapped her."since when is surviving winning?" I didn't have an answer.

That night my phone buzzed at 1:03AM

Unknown number again, I almost didn't open it " I want you to remember how much i love you."

Attached was a photo, it was me on Lena's couch, taken through my window.

My apartment had blinds, Lena's had sheer curtains, He'd been here, He'd been close enough to see me breath.

I dropped the phone like it burned.

Lena woke up at the sound, "what is it?" She read it, her face went pale, then red, then dangerous.

"That's it," she said, "we're done playing nice."

She grabbed her keys "Get dressed, we're going to your apartment Now"

"Why?"

"Because if he's been here, he left something, and I'm going to find it before he uses it against you." I followed her, my heart pounding.

We drove to my old apartment in silence, Lena had a spare key, she let us in. it was exactly how i left it, too clean, too quiet.

Lena started checking rooms, i stayed in the living room, trying not to remember, Then i saw it, on the coffee table.

An envelope, my name on it, in marks handwriting. I didn't open it, I couldn't.

Lena came back in just as my phone buzzed again, Unknown number, i looked at the screen. the message read

"Check the envelope, then tell me you still want me gone."

Lena saw my face change

"Aliya don't."

But i opened it anyway, inside was a single photo, it was Lena , sleeping on her bed, taken from the doorway of her bedroom.

the time stamp said:TONIGHT 1:01AM

Lena went cold, "Aliya we didn't lock the door," I whispered, Lena grabbed my arm, "We're leaving now,"

But when they got to the door, it was blocked.

Mark stood in the hallway, holding a bouquet of white lilies.

He smiled,

"I told you," he said, "Nobody can tear us apart."