Letting him go

Chapter 3

*Matthew*

I was at a loss for words. How did you tell someone you love that you found your mate? She would know what that means and how strong the mate bond was? I knew that this would hurt her, but I could do nothing now to keep her out of the loop.

“Mandy, I didn’t want for you to find out like this.” I said, taking a breath, “Alli’s my mate.”

The look on her face was something that I would never forget. I had hurt her, and I would never forgive myself for it.

“How could you keep something like this from me?!” She exclaimed with tears in her eyes. “I take it that’s what the two of you are arguing about?” She frowned.

“I came here to ask that Matthew give Alli her freedom and reject her. She has already rejected him. Alli wants nothing to do with him. She’s going to respect that you two are married. The situation was difficult for her, but Matthew is making it harder by not letting her go.” Nick explained with a frown.

“I see,” Mandy whispered. She turned to me, and I knew that everything was about to fall apart. “Do you want to be with her?”

What was I supposed to say to that? What was I supposed to do?

“You have to understand what it is to find a mate, Mandy. I love you, and you know that. I choose you. But I love her too; it’s not something that I have control over. My wolf wants her. I want her.

 I won’t sit here and lie to you. I want to rip this boy’s head off forever, touching her,” I said, trying to rationalize what was happening.

She gasped and put her hand to her heart, clearly hurt by my words.

“I can’t reject her. My wolf won’t allow it. I’m sorry if that hurts you. All I can do is do my best to stay away from her.” I conceded in an effort to comfort her.

Mandy nodded and walked out of the room. I knew that both Alli and Mandy were hurting right now, and it hurt me to see that it was because of my selfish actions.

“I’m not letting her go ever,” I growled at Nick.

“You gave up your right to her when you married Mandy. You didn’t wait for her. You won’t stop us from being together.” He said defiantly.

“Did you forget that she is the daughter of an Alpha? Do you think that her father will let you treat her this way?” Nick said, glaring at me.

“She’s mine. I will go to war with anyone who tries to keep her from me, including her father!” I yelled, knowing that every word was true.

I knew that I was unfair to Alli and Mandy, but my wolf didn’t care. He wanted Alli. My eye caught the doorway to see Mandy glaring at me. I thought she had left the room, but instead, she heard everything I just said to Nick.

“You’ve lost your mind!” Mandy yelled, “do you expect me just to sit here and play wife while you run after someone else? I truly can’t understand how you can treat me this way?” She sobbed.

What was I going to do? I was going crazy. I could not afford to show weakness. I was the Alpha of my pack, for crying out loud. I had to do something and fast.

*Alpha Mark*

Matthew had called and said that he needed to talk to me about something important. My mind was racing, trying to figure out what it could be that was going on.

“Mark, Matthew’s here.” Anna notified me, “He’s waiting in your office.” she said, heading back to the kitchen.

“I called this meeting with you, Mark, because I need a favor from you.” he apprised me.

“What is it you need, son?” I asked curiously.

“I need you to send Alli and Nick away to some private school as far from here as possible.” He requested.

“What! Why would you want me to send my daughter away?” Was my surprised response.

“Because she’s my mate. I can’t leave my wife. I made vows to her, and she’s innocent in all this. But I can’t let Alli go either. I know that I’m selfish.” He said, sounding tortured.

“I never intended to hurt your daughter. I just can’t leave my wife. What kind of man would that make me? My wolf hates to see that boy near her. I can’t control myself. I’m going to end up killing him! She would never forgive me if that happened.” He exclaimed, sadness in his voice.

“Why not reject her?” I asked, trying to remain calm.

“I don’t want to let her go. The thought of losing her makes me physically ill. Putting distance between them and me is for her to go far away from me with that boy. As hard as this is for me to say, I want her to be happy, but I won’t be able to control myself if she’s close,” he explained, resigned to his fate.

“I know it takes a lot for you to be able to give up your true mate. I know that my daughter must be hurting just as bad.” I said, running my hand through my hair.

“I love my wife, Mark; I happen to love your daughter more. What I feel for Alli is so intense, so overwhelming I feel it in my soul. I find it harder and harder to stay away from her. I just could not live with myself if I left Mandy.” he said sadly.

“I won’t be able to keep her away forever, but I can push for her to mate with Nick. He’s good for her, Matthew; he will take care of her,” I offered.

“Thank you, Alpha. I will, of course, be taking care of all the expenses for Alli and the boy and whatever staff you choose to send with her.” Matthew said, tears in his eyes as he got up and left.

I admired the man. He could have dropped his wife, and no one in his pack would have batted an eyelash. My daughter was his mate, but could I say that she would not feel awful about breaking up a marriage. He was doing the right thing for both of them. I just hoped that I could make Alli understand it too.

*Alli*

 “Macy, I can’t believe that he’s doing this to me!” I cried angry tears.

“Alli, it’s going to be okay; at least Nick will be going with you,” she offered, not making me feel better.

“He’s ruining my life,” I growled.

“Look at it this way, you get to travel, and you don’t have to see your jerk of a mate with his wife. You and Nick can be together without Mr. Eastman getting in the way,” she explained.

“Your right, I guess. Why don’t you come with us? I need you. You’re my BFF.” I proposed.

“If you can get your dad to convince my parents, I’m in,” she conceded.

“Yay, deal. I’ll talk to dad as soon as he gets home.” I promised.

So this was what my life had come to—sent off by my parents. So that my mate didn’t end up killing my boyfriend, maybe I should go all psycho and threaten to kill his wife. Two could play that game, I thought, smirking.

“What’s so funny?” Macy asked.

“Oh, nothing, just wishful thinking.”

“I bet!” she laughed.

I was not going to let him get the best of me. He was a jerk, and he knew it. I just needed to keep my mind on what I had going on right now, and that was a track meet.

I finished stretching and took my place beside Macy on the track. When the horn went off, I took off running the fastest I had ever run, hoping to leave all this behind me.

The reality of it was no matter how hard or how fast I ran, there was no outrunning the mess that was my life. Crossing the finish line in the first place, I thought about how much I would miss my life here.

“It’s going to be okay,” Macy said, coming up behind me putting her hand on my shoulder.

I wish that I could believe that, but I had to go home and face my dad regardless of what was to come.

“Honey, are you done packing?” My dad said from the doorway.

“No. This isn’t fair, dad. Why are you letting him do this to me?” I pleaded.

“You know this isn’t right?”

“Honey, it’s for your good. You may not understand this now, but Matthew is an Alpha,” he rationalized.

“So what!” I yelled.

“He won’t give you up, Alli; he can’t; his wolf would never let him. If you stay, he will have you even if it is as his mistress. Believe me when I say that he’s doing the right thing for you. Alpha’s are very possessive of their mates,” he did his best to explain.

“You’re an Alpha to dad; you could protect me!”

“Honey, if I try and keep you from him, he won’t hesitate to go to war with us. Alli, believe me when I say that I have no problem going up against him, but I think that you would only be unhappy having to see him with his wife. He’s giving you an out. Take it. I’m by no means defending him, honey, but you don’t realize how hard this is for him. How hard it will be for you. Alpha always has the strongest bond with their mates; he’s letting you go in the only way he can.” He defended.

“Fine, but If I have to go, can you convince Macy’s parents to let her come with us?” I said, giving him my sad puppy face.

“Done!” he agreed.

“Thank You, Dad,” I said appreciatively.

“It’s all going to work out, honey.” He said, hugging me tightly.

We decided that we would wait a few days before we left to get through some tests we had. I knew that I would see Matthew in class, but I decided to ignore him and only talk to him if it was class-related.

“Love, you have all your things packed yet?” Nick said, pulling me into his arms.

“Not yet, but it’s getting there. What does one take into exile?” I said, frowned.

“Will it be so bad to be with me?” He asked, kissing me making my eyes flutter closed.

Why couldn’t Nick have been my mate? I knew he loved me, and I loved him. I thought, lost in his blue eyes.

“No, of course, it won’t. I’m going to love being with you. I love you, Nick.  I know you’re not my mate, but I want you to be.” I said, knowing every word was true.

Someone growled, and I turned to see Matthew glaring at us. I knew he had heard me talking to Nick, but I didn’t care. I grabbed Nick’s hand, and we walked to lunch and away from Matthew’s intense glare.

*Matthew*

She was leaving tomorrow, and I had to get my wolf under control. I had to see her one last time. I drove to her house thinking that I was crazy even going there; this couldn’t end well. I knocked on the door, and she answered.

 All the breath left my body, and I just looked at her trying to memorize every inch of her. Her brown hair flowed down her back in waves, and her beautiful brown eyes narrowed when she saw me.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, frowning.

“I just wanted to say goodbye to you,” I explained.

“Well, goodbye!” She said, trying to slam the door in my face.

“Please, can you just take a ride with me?” I asked hopefully.

“Why would I go anywhere with you?”

 “Just do this one thing for me?” I pleaded.

“Will it make you go away?” She said, her eyes full of anger.

“Yes, I promise I will let you go in peace if you just give me this,” I promised.

“Fine, but I can’t belong. I have to finish packing.” She conceded.

*Mandy*

Alli was leaving tomorrow, and I knew Matthew was going to her. I couldn’t stop how my heart was breaking. I knew that he loved me, but I also knew that he loved her more than me.

 I should do the right thing and let him go, but I couldn’t. He was all I had; my parents were both dead, and I had no siblings. I was alone; Matthew was my only family. I admired Alli; I respected her; not many wolves would have done what she did. Alli had every right to Matthew; she was made for him; Alli was his other half. Instead, she decided to respect our marriage, and for that, I would forever be grateful.

I had just found out yesterday that we were having a baby. I was scared to tell Matthew. I was not sure *Alli*

What the hell was I doing going anywhere with Matthew? I wish I knew. I guess I did know I wanted to spend what little time I could with him, and I hated myself for it. We got to the park, and he opened my door for me.

“Tell me what it is you want to say so that you can take me back,” I said coldly.

“Can we not at least be friends?” He asked softly.

“Friends, are you kidding me? You’re my mate. The one that I was supposed to grow old with. You’re the other half of my soul. You were supposed to be the father of my children! So no, we can’t be friends!” I exclaimed, my eyes starting to glow. I knew that I was unfair, but so was he.

“Calm down, Alli!” He exclaimed.

“Are you seriously telling me to calm down?” I growled.

“You know what; this was a bad idea; take me home,” I said, trying and failing to calm myself down. “All we do is fight when we are together,” I yelled, getting madder by the second.

I couldn’t seem to catch my breath with him this close. I closed my eyes, wishing that he didn’t affect me as he did.

He sighed, sounding tired.

“I do love her, Alli. She has been my wife for five years. What kind of man would it make me to abandon her? She has no one else but me. She’s innocent in all this. She’s a good person Alli,” he explained.

“Do you think it matters to me that you love her! Or that she’s a good person.” I growled.

“When you go to bed at night, it’s going to be her that you’re sleeping next to. She’s going to be the mother of your children. She is the one you’re going to grow old with!” I yelled, my body shaking with anger.

“You’re so worried about hurting her. Why can’t you see how much you’re hurting me too.” I said, tears falling from my face.

I wiped them away defiantly.

“I don’t want to be the reason for why a marriage breaks up. I don’t want to be that person. That’s why I decided to respect your marriage. Your wife.” I said, meeting his eyes.

“You know who I am kidding. I’ve known from the start that you were never going to leave Mandy.” I whispered.

“Alli,” my name fell from his lips, sounding tortured.

“I’m a good person too,” I said, walking back to the car.

I needed to get away from him. Why could he not understand how much he was hurting me? Love, ha, it didn’t matter that he loved her or how good of a person she was. He had chosen her, and that was the only thing that mattered. I needed to just let him go. All he could do for me was bring me heartache!

“Alli, why can’t you understand?” He requested.

“I understand perfectly, painfully so. I met you too late; there’s no room for me in your life. You didn’t wait for me, that’s what I understand. You jumped the gun, and now we ALL have to suffer,” I yelled, wanting to hit him.

“You do what you have to do for yourself. And you better believe that I’ll do what’s best for me!” I said, knowing I was pushing his buttons with my remark.

“I guess I owe you a thank you because you’re shipping me off,” I said, still pushing him.

I wanted him to hurt as bad as I was.

“Nick and I can be together, and he can be all the things to me that you should have been,” I stated forcefully.