RYOT GRL

Chapter 11

When I get back home, it’s 4 in the morning and I spend the rest of the time googling animal shelters in my area. At 8, I pretend to get ready for school, bumping into my mum who’s dressed in her best navy-blue cardigan and white flares. “Where are you going?”, I enquire and her face blushes red. “Shopping”, she mutters, at 8 in the morning she would never go this early. I would confront her, but I have more pressing things on my mind. I wait until she leaves before, I start calling them up. There are 6 in my local area and I make a plan to visit them all within school hours since, I want to cover everywhere.

I call everyone and none of them say they have received a great Dane within the last day. I take the bus to the other two out of town and I’m met with the same thing. I come back home completely stumped and crestfallen, to think I’ve let him down. He could be anywhere by now with anyone. I text my mum to tell her I was sent home from school because I was ill and spend the rest of the day crying in bed, hoping to get a call from one of the pounds that he’s been handed in. But by the time it reaches the late afternoon I know there’s no chance. I hear my mum coming in, but I pretend to be asleep. I feel her cold hand on my head, and her kiss on my cheek before she closes my door. And for the rest of the night, I slip between crying and hugging my pillow tightly, feeling completely alone. Ruben was my only friend growing up, I don’t know what I’ll do if he’s gone.

I miss the next two days insisting I’m too ill to go. Mum’s been in and out so much always with different made-up excuses, she’s going shopping, or she’s trying to get to know the city better as an excuse for her to go to work.

By Friday, I can no longer blag it. I’ve barely slept in days, tossing and turning thinking about the multiple things that could have happened to Ruben. He was hit by a car or he’s been sold to some breeder where he’ll live in squalor. It pains me too much to think about. I don’t care what I put on, wearing the first thing I find. My grey pyjama top and my back ripped jeans, it’s raining outside but I don’t even bother putting a coat on. By the time I get to school, I’m shivering, and I’m soaked. I go to art, my face monotonous. I keep my head to the desk. I feel vulnerable without my makeup because it makes me feel like I’m invincible. I go to Georgina and Stella’s table to see them being hounded by Hames; I don’t even have it in me to tell him to get lost. He’s playing with Georgina’s hair, pulling it whilst she pushes him back, demanding he leave her alone. Eventually the teacher tells him to stop, and he does, smirking at her before striding back to his friends. I watch his retreating figure, my eyes pierced into slits at how cool he thinks he is. Going back to his friends like he’s some sort of hero for picking on a girl that’s half his size. And then there’s Castle, Lillian’s got her arm draped over his waist, whispering something, no doubt sweet nothings in her ear. I black everyone out, drawing until I hear the bell ring. I practically dragged my feet on the floor going to English, sitting down just as Castle walks in late as usual, our eyes latching. I’m the first to look away. His lips are tugged into a smirk and as soon as he sits down, he draws his desk closer to mine. “Can’t stay away from me. Can you?”, he whispers, and I flash him a perplexed look. “You’re not the only one who has English asshole”, I hiss back, and I watch as his eyes flash in amusement. “I was talking about the party. You didn’t have to run away from me princess”.

And I’m about to shove him away when I hear my name being called and I flash my eyes to the front of the class. “Dodo. Could you read the next chapter?”, she says, and I give her a blank look. “Of pride of prejudice. I think some of us need a reminder”, and I watch as her eyes flicker to Castle. “Sorry. I must have misplaced it”, I say rummaging through my book pretending to have a book I don’t have. “I have it. Thanks for letting me borrow it Dodo”, Castle produces the book from his bag landing it on my desk. I glare at him. “Great. Please stand up”, she utters. “I can’t”, I mumble, and she frowns. “I have stage fright”, I tell her, and I hear a few laughs around the class. I would rather they think that than know the truth. “We all get stage fright. It’s only a few pages”, she responds encouragingly. And I nod, standing up. At this point my body feels like it’s shutting down and my mind is racing, trying to find a way I can get myself out of this situation. I stand up and all eyes are on me. “Chapter 1”, I look through the book finding the number one in bold and a pile of scribbles. “You’ll be fine”, she says again noticing my hesitation. I lock eyes with Castle and he’s staring closely at me. He’s not smiling and gawking me like the rest ready to see me make a fool of myself. He’s looking at me differently, like he’s trying to figure me out. I open my mouth but what can I say. Instead, I close the book, throwing it down on the table. “I don’t like being told what to do”, I say sauntering past her, grabbing my bag and striding out of the classroom slamming the door behind me. I go straight to the girl’s toilet, splashing cold water over my face. I feel the most embarrassed I’ve ever felt, and I have to blink several times to hold back my tears.

It’s the only thing I’m afraid of, everyone knowing, everyone finding out my secret that I can’t read or write. That I never stayed around a place long enough to be taught. No one would help me if I told them, they would call me illiterate, stupid and blame it on my attitude. It’s why I’ve never tried to get a job because it would require me to write or read something and I can’t do either. I get out of the bathroom and bump straight into a hard chest, looking up I lock eyes with the familiar hazel one’s. I pull away from him, straightening up and clearing my throat. “Nice flake”, he muses, and my eyes harden into slits. “She doesn’t have a right to make me do that”, I seethe, and I watch how he furrows his brows. “I saw you up there you were terrified”, he reasons, his eyes piercing straight through me. “I wasn’t terrified”, I sneer, and he takes a step forward, causing me to take one back.

“Eyes don’t lie princess”, he observes and he’s so close now, I feel like I can hardly breathe. “You know nothing”, it’s meant to come out cold, but my words are barely a whisper.

“Why do you keep running away from me?”, he questions, and he’s cornered me against my locker. He’s so close. He reaches up tucking my hair behind my ear carefully. “What are you so afraid of?”, he asks, and he leans down, his eyes on my lips. My brain doesn’t commute and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. As he presses his lips to mine. A rush of emotion flows through me as I wrap my arms around his shoulder to bring him closer to me. I open my mouth and our tongues clash. And the stress and all the pent-up aggression I felt for him melts away. Until I hear the bell and we spring apart, and it all comes rushing back. I’m panting heavily whilst he seems unaffected. “See you around princess”, he winks and stalks off, whilst the corridor fills with student. After I get the shock over kissing him again, I feel my heart sinking. He’s breaking my walls one by one, and I feel powerless to stop him. He could see I was scared and it’s not going to be long until he asks himself why.

After our kiss, I managed to avoid him for the rest of the day until gym practise; the girls were on track which happened to be my least favourite sport. I see Castle, Hames and Jordan sitting on the bleachers they look like they're passing something round and I’m not blind to suss that it’s a joint. I feel his stare on me and I block him out trying to listen to Georgina and Stella’s conversation on what happened on last night on the bachelor. “What do you think Dodo?”, Stella asks, and I shrug my shoulders. “About?”, I say. “Where you listening to anything we were saying?”, Georgina sighs and I shrug my shoulders. “Was I supposed to be listening?”, I mutter, and she guffaws. If I wasn’t so upset about Ruben and the kiss with Castle I wouldn’t be distracted. “Is something wrong with your lip?”, Stella eyes me in concern. And I look at her with wide eyes, can she tell. “You keep touching it?”, she inquires, and I drop my hand. “I banged it yesterday. It hurts”, she eyes me suspiciously. “So, has anything else happened with you and Hames?”, I turn to Georgina to steer the conversation away from me. She looks up at the bleachers eyes on him and I see he’s looking at her too. “No. He’s been leaving me alone since I’ve grown a backbone”, she says paraphrasing my words and I smirk. “Well, that’s good. He can’t just intimidate you because he thinks he can”, I assure her and her shoulders sag in defeat. “I know it’s just he was nice once. We were friends once”, she says, and I stop running in surprise. “You and Hames?”. “Well, not just Hames. Castle and Jordan too”, Stella says sadly. “And Lillian before she became to obsessed with popularity. We always used to hang out together in my guest house when we were kids and then I guess we grew up”, Stella says sadly. And I look up to the bleachers. There is no way I could imagine them to anything more than the heartless bullies they portray to be.

I stand gobsmacked looking between the pair in utter confusion. “I can’t believe you’re only telling me this now”, I demand, and they shrug. “It was a long time ago. And they’re different now. I doubt they even remember”, Stella says quietly, and I can’t help but detect the sadness in her voice. I see everyone has run off down the track and I start walking back to the lockers. “Dodo where are you going?”, Stella asks, and I look at the teacher who’s busy watching the others. “Well, I don’t want to keep running around the track. There’s so many I doubt she would notice”, and I gesture for the other too to join me which they do and we’re running back to the lockers to not get spotted. Unfortunately to get back to the lockers we have to pass the bleachers. And blocking our path is 3 boys hard faced and lips set into straight lines. Castle in the middle staring me down. “Where do you think you’re going?”, he mutters his voice dangerously low like we didn’t just kiss a mere hour ago. “Get out of our way castle”, I go to move past him, but I’m blocked by Hames. “You’re not going anywhere”, he orders. “Move Hames. We don’t have anything to say to you”, Georgina pipes up and he pushes past me grabbing at her arm. “What did you just say?”, he threatens, and her eyes widen in fear. “You think you’re cool skipping class. Go back”, Jordan orders. “You can’t tell me what to do. None of you can”, I spit back pushing back at Castle, who doesn’t even move a budge like his feet have melted into the concrete. “Ok princess”, he whispers and produces my book of pride and prejudice from behind his back. “Read it for us and we’ll let you pass”. I stare at him outraged. “I’ll do no such thing. Let me pass”, I demand, and all three boys smile at each other amusement. “Read and I will”, he’s playing me. That kiss meant nothing to him, it’s a ploy for him to make him more conceited than he already is. And know he’s trying to embarrass me by trying to get me to read the book because he thinks I’m afraid.

“No”, I say, and he shrugs his shoulders. “Then I guess you should get back to class”, he demands; his eyes are gleaming mischievously. I can’t believe I let my guard down around someone so arrogant and ready to exploit my worst fears. He dangles the book in front of me. “Don’t be shy Princess”, he whispers and that’s the last straw. I will not let anyone make me afraid of anything ever again. “You should give me that back so I can throw it through your car window again”, I retort, and his smirk drops, and he grabs me so he’s dangerously close. “You really want to test me”, he says his voice threatening. “I’m not afraid of you”, I seethe and his lips twitch into a smile. “You should be”. “Boys”, and the last thing I see is Castle’s shoulder before I’m being thrown over it.

“Put me down”, I demand, pressing my hands to his back and lifting my head up to see Stella and Georgina are also being restrained by Hames and Jordan. I hit against his back to no use. They drag us through until we reach an empty classroom, where Castle drops me with a thud on the floor and walks away with Hames and Jordan, locking the door. My eyes widen, he can’t leave us in here. I pull at the door, but it doesn’t budge. “That asshole”, I shout kicking at the door. It’s the last period before the end of the day, I doubt anyone will notice us missing. Until I don’t turn up at home. I send a text to my mum and then think against it. I don’t need her to come out and help me. “Text your Mum’s and tell them you’re over a friend’s house”, I tell them, and they look at me bewildered. “Then how are we going to get out of here. It’s Friday”, Stella exclaims, she’s more frantic than usual, fruitlessly pacing back and forth. “Stella it’s fine. They’ll be back soon”, I reassure her. “How can you be so sure?”, she exclaims, and I look away. Truthfully, I don’t think they’ll be back till Monday, probably thinking we’ll call someone to get us out. “We’re going to have to break down the door”. “I can’t break down a door”, she wails and puts her head in her hands looking down at the floor. “I don’t want to be stuck in here”, she sobs, and I look at Georgina with worry who’s portraying the same expression. “Stella. What’s wrong?”, I ask, and she shakes her head. “I have to go home”, she says, and I rub her shoulders. “I’ll get you home”.

The bell for the end of the day rang an hour ago and I’ve been trying kick down the door for ages. My ankles feels like it’s on fair. The windows won’t open either. “We need to find something so we can break the door down”, I say looking around the room. It’s an old music room, with a brown stand up piano and a drum kit. I pick up a trumpet wiping the mouthpiece before blowing into it, hearing a strangled sound coming out of it. Georgina laughs, playing a small tune on the piano, whilst Stella is still crouched in the chair but she’s no longer crying. I pick up more instruments, each sounding worse than the last. “I wonder why it was all dumped in here”, I inquire. “There was a fire in the old music room. They must have dumped all of the old equipment in here”, Georgina mutters and I flick through it all. Finding an old paint set and set about painting something on the wall. “What are you doing?”, she asks, and I show her, drawing the school mascot but a cartoon version and under it I write Castle Maddox. “Why did you write Castle’s name”, Georgina murmurs. “Because if anyone sees it, they’ll think it was him”, I say and she grins, taking the paintbrush from me and writing Hames Myers on the wall. Stella gets up to peer over at what we’re doing and writes Jordan Adamson on the wall. Using the rest of the instruments we throw everything at the wall, until there is a large gap in it, and I manage to get the door of the hinges. We sneak out of school through the left stair well and through the window of the girls’ toilets. “You really saved us back there, Dodo”, Georgina praises. “Can I ask you something”, Stella asks, addressing me. “Why didn’t you just read the book?”. And for a moment I don’t answer. “Because I knew even if I did, he still wouldn’t have let us pass”, I mutter. Georgina gives me a lift home and I walk in to find my mum pacing the kitchen floor. “Mum what’s wrong?”, I say in concern and she looks up, her face full of worry. “I can’t find Ruben”.