RYOT GRL

Chapter 17

I didn’t want to wake up the next day, with everything looming over my head. My complicated feelings for Castle, English, and everything else that requires me to read and write and my mum who’s currently walking on eggshells around me as she makes breakfast. I can see she wants to say something, but I asked for space and I know she respects that. “Eggs”, she asks, and I nod as she puts them on my plate. I’m not hungry but I eat it all the same. “I’ve got work till 6 today and then maybe we could go see a film or walk around the town for a bit”, she mutters hopefully. And I shrug my shoulders. “Whatever you want”, I say, and I watch as her face falls. It doesn’t bring me any joy being mean to her, but I can’t find it in me to be nice either. She is the one that got us into this mess. I get up when I see it’s quarter to 9, without saying a word. I look behind me to see she’s watching me go by the window and my heart swells when I see the sad look on her face. She hates it when we fight and so do I. But we’re too like each other, neither one of us wanting to admit when we’re in the wrong. Even though this time it’s her. I walk slowly to school when I spot the familiar red Porsche passing me and it stops. I keep walking, ignoring it. “Dodo. Dodo”. I have no choice but to look at him when he starts beeping his horn getting the attention of passers-by. “What do you want?”, I demand, in no mood for his games. “I’ll give you a lift”.

“You must think I’m stupid. Why would I ever get in a car with you?”, I snap. It’s raining heavily and I pull my coat further over my head.

“You keep walking like this you’ll be late for sure”, he says, and I scowl at him. “Come on Dodo”, he says his voice softer. “We don’t have to talk it’s just a lift”. I huff but get in only because I don’t want my makeup to come off. “What’s wrong? You’re more pissed off than usual”, he mutters, and I glare at him. “None of your business”, I snap. “Why are you upset?”.

“I’m not upset”, I say my voice quieter than before. “You’re always more defensive when you’re upset”, he observes, and I glance at him. He’s got his eyes on the road, but I can see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

“Like you care”, I seethe, and he frowns. “I never said I didn’t care”. I stifle a laugh. “Locking me in an empty classroom and embarrassing me at a party is a funny way of showing you care about me”, I snap, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m sorry”, he apologises and for a moment I think I must have imagined it. Castle Maddox saying he’s sorry according to Stella and Georgina is unheard of.

I don’t respond. “Dodo. Did you hear what I said?”, he murmurs, and I roll my eyes at his arrogance. Just because he apologised doesn’t mean he deserves my forgiveness.

“I thought you said we wouldn’t have to talk”, I say. “Dodo, I just want to...”.

“No. I don’t want to hear what you have to say. You can’t lock me in a classroom one minute and be nice the next. It doesn’t work like that”, I say and for the rest of the drive it’s silent between us. When he pulls up at school, I jump out of the car before he’s even turned the car off. He’ll use it as another excuse to talk, and I have nothing to say to him. I meet up with Georgina and Stella who’s have been staring at me open mouthed from across the school car park. “Did you just get out of Castle Maddox’s car?””, Stella says looking at me in surprise. “He offered me a lift because it was raining”, I murmur. “And you accepted willingly?”, Georgina replies in horror. I spot Hames coming on our way, his eyes boring holes into the back of Georgina’s head. “Come on let’s go”, I say quickly taking both girls hands and breaking into a half run. “Dodo why are you…?”, she looks behind her and she speeds up. We go to our lockers taking things out. The graffiti is still on mine, but since I can’t read it, it should stay. Plus, that will show them that I really don’t care for their schoolyard antics. My first period is English, and I might as well miss it for my behaviour lately. When I get in the principal is in there, having words with the Mrs Janie. “Ah Dodo. A word please”, he presses, his lips set into a straight line. I see Castle walk in, eyes glaring at principal and then he glances at me. I walk out hearing a bunch of jeers as I do. He leads me back to his office, whilst everyone in the hallway comes to a stop to laugh at me. “Please have a seat”, he mutters once we’re in his office and I do, crossing my arms over my chest and scowling.

“You may be wondering why you’re here”, he says, and I resist the urge to tell him to get on with it. “Mrs Janie has been concerned with your behaviour in English”, he says, and I straighten up, my body like a plank. Trust her to go to the principal instead of trying to discipline me herself. “She said you refuse to read in front of the class and write essays. Is that correct”? his voice is so high and mighty, and I don’t like how he’s using it to patronise me. But I stay quiet. “Is there a problem with your English classes?”, he asks, and I shrug. “You tell me. You’re the one who’s clearly got a problem”, I sit back, and I watch how he straightens up the anger clearly plastered on his face. “We do not tolerate bad attitude and disrespectful behaviour at Westgate”, he booms, and I roll my eyes, shifting back in my chair. “Bad attitude and disrespectful behaviour”, I say stifling a laugh. “What about Bullying?”, I say, and he frowns.

“We are not here to discuss bullying”, he says promptly, and I stare at him open-mouthed to how oblivious the bullying problem is in this school. “Well, we should be”, I say getting up and pointing an accusing finger at him. “There is a serious problem in this school, and you’ve got me in here talking about why I won’t read a stupid book in English”, I mutter. And he frowns heavily. “Dodo sit down”, he says, his patients wearing thin. “No. Not until you tell me”.

“Sit down right now or I will expel”, his voice is strong and harsh, and I sit down abruptly. He’s got a temper, I can tell. “Now. This is your final warning. Stop playing up in English or there will be serious consequences”, he says and goes towards the door holding it open. “I don’t expect to see you back here”, I walk out furiously. I go back to English and virtually stomp to my desk. He doesn’t understand. No one does. They took one look at my scowl and my behaviour and think I’m just trying to make trouble. When, it’s the only way I know how to ask for help. But no one can see it. She teaches for the next the next hour and I keep my head down, silent tears trickling down as I look at the scribbles on the paper. I don’t know what she’s teaching, I don’t know anything, except for Art, I’ve got nothing. I’ll never be anything.