Love Me

Episode 14

His family had taken him home to bury him and they had also made it plain

that they did not want any of his university friends to attend his funeral.

‘They blame us for what happened to him,’ one of his other friends told Kelly

angrily. ‘They’re the ones who are at fault. He never wanted to come here...’

Kelly was too upset to make any comment when Jayne asked for another

loan, and he was moody and sharp-tempered with her, mocking her upbringing

and taunting her with her naiveté and innocence.

That hurt Kelly but she said nothing. She knew that he would soon be leaving

the city to join the eco-warriors, who were beginning to drift away from the site

of their recent defeat over a large motorway extension and to make their way

south to meet up with another group, who were trying to persuade the

Government to give permission for some land previously owned by the Army to

be opened to the general public.

To Kelly it sounded a good cause.

‘Come with us,’ Jayne suggested, and then he laughed sneeringly as he

added, ‘But no, of course you won’t... Mummy wouldn’t like it, would she?’ Kelly said nothing. She was still too numbed by Hardy’s death. University

life, which at first had seemed to promise so much freedom...which she had

hoped would be the passage which would carry her effortlessly into womanhood

and David’s love...was proving to be far more painful and difficult than she had

envisaged.

She had lost weight and hope, and now her work was beginning to suffer too.

The weather was hot and sticky, with the threat of thunder forever present in

the air. They needed a good storm, Kelly reflected early one evening as she

returned to her small flat. She wasn’t hungry, and the prospect of an evening

spent over her books didn’t appeal in the least. She missed Hardy and their

discussions and she missed David even more.

The day had been so hot and the flat was so airless that she showered in a vain

attempt to get cool, pulling over her naked body an old cotton shirt which had

once belonged to Jack, too drained and lethargic even to think of getting properly dressed. Half an hour later Jayne arrived, carrying a bottle of wine

which he insisted on opening even though she told him that she didn’t want

anything to drink. In the end it was easier to give in than to argue, but she stood

her ground over the drug he offered her, firmly shaking her head.

‘Please yourself,’ he told her easily, but Kelly noticed that he didn’t have one

himself either.

‘Any chance of letting me have that money?’ he asked her a few minutes later

as he lounged on her small sofa, watching her as she tried to work. There was a

look in his eyes that made her feel uncomfortable, and not just because she

couldn’t give him the loan he wanted; no, it was more than that, and suddenly

she was acutely conscious of her nudity beneath Jack’s shirt.

‘I’m sorry, I can’t...not at the moment,’ she apologised. ‘I...I’m waiting for

Jack to send me a cheque. Jayne, I don’t want to be a bad host, but really I

have to work...’

‘You want me to leave...’

‘If you don’t mind,’ Kelly agreed, waving her hand in the direction of the

books she had spread out on the small table in front of her.

For a moment she thought he was going to argue with her, but to her relief he

didn’t, walking instead towards the door. Eager to see him leave, Kelly went

with him. As she opened the door for him she saw the Rolls Royce pulling to a

halt a little further down the road and her heart started to race with frantic

excitement. As though aware of her loss of attention, and angered by it, to her

shock Jayne suddenly reached for her, grabbing hold of her and forcing her

back against the open door, his mouth hot and wet on hers as he kissed her

roughly.

Immediately Kelly pulled away, but not in time to stop David, who was

stepping out of the Rolls Royce and walking towards her, from seeing what had

happened, nor from witnessing how she was dressed, she saw uncomfortably as

she felt his glance scorch her shirt-clad body.

To her relief Jayne’s mobile phone had started to ring and he was already

heading for his car, his back towards her as he talked in a low voice into the

telephone.

As David’s long-legged, determined stride brought him closer to her door,

Kelly could only stand and watch.

‘David!’ she exclaimed weakly when he reached her. ‘What a surprise. I didn’t

know... I didn’t expect...’

‘Obviously not,’ was David’s terse response as he stepped past her and into her

small hallway, firmly closing the door behind him as he told her sardonically ‘I’m sorry if my arrival is inopportune, although something tells me that it would

have been a lot less opportune had I arrived, say, half an hour ago.’

Kelly’s face flamed as she saw the way he was looking at her and realised

what he meant. David thought that she and Jayne were lovers.

‘It’s not...we weren’t... Jayne is just a friend...’ she finally managed to tell

him defensively.

David’s eyebrows immediately shot up.

‘A friend! Tell me, Kelly, do you normally receive your friends wearing just

one of their shirts...?’

‘This isn’t Jayne’s shirt; it’s one of Jack’s old ones,’ she protested, hot-

faced. What was David doing here? Why had he come to see her? Her heart started to

thump frantically.

‘Jack’s shirt?’ David was frowning at her as he studied her.

‘Yes... I...I like to wear it... It makes me think of home...of Jack and you. I

miss you both,’ she told him daringly, holding her breath as she waited for his

response.

There had to be some reason for his being here and his reaction to Jayne’s

presence... Was she daring to hope too much in thinking that beneath his anger

he might just be a little jealous? She was a woman now, she reminded herself,

not a child, and— ‘Home...?’ David cut across her increasingly buoyant thoughts.

‘I doubt your mother would enjoy hearing you describe Otel Place as your

home.’

Kelly bit her lip. It was true that her mother did not approve of her

attachment to Otel Place and would have preferred it if, like her, Kelly had been

a city person.

‘I’m an adult now,’ she told David bravely. ‘I make my own decisions, my own

choices...’

‘I see... And entertaining your friends wearing nothing but one of Jack’s shirts

is one of those choices, is it, Kelly?’

Her face burned. There was no hint of jealousy in his voice now, only a

familiar older-brother note of censure.

‘I...I wasn’t expecting Jayne to come round. It was so hot. I had a shower

and...’

Jayne... This wouldn’t be the friend who’s borrowed half your last quarter’s

allowance from you, would it?’ David challenged her.

Kelly blanched. Jack had obviously told him about that; she wished that he hadn’t.

‘I... He’ll pay me back.’ She defended both Jayne’s request and her own

acceptance of it.

‘Things have certainly changed since my time at university,’ David told her

cynically. ‘Then it was the man who did the chasing, the pursuing, not the

woman who had to secure the man’s attentions by offering him money.’

Kelly stared at him, unable to keep either her shock or the pain his words had

caused her from showing in her eyes.

‘It isn’t like that... I haven’t been pursuing Jayne. I don’t...’

She stopped abruptly and looked away from him. How could she tell David of

all men...people...that she didn’t run after his s*x, when he had good reason to

believe otherwise after the ways she had so blatantly revealed her feelings for

him? Now he was looking at her in that horribly cynical way, his mouth twisting

in mocking contempt.

Jack asked me to come,’ he told her as she remained silent. ‘He’s had to go

away on business but he asked me to come and give you this...’

As he spoke David was removing a cheque from his wallet which he handed to

her.

Swallowing hard, Kelly took it from him.

‘You could have posted it to me,’ she told him in a small voice.

Jack wanted it delivered in person.’

‘It’s a long drive... I could... Would you like something to drink...to eat...?’

‘Coffee will be fine,’ David told her shortly, following her as she automatically

started to walk into her small living room.

The bottle of wine Jayne had brought with him was still on the table, her

own glass nearly empty, and Kelly saw the hard look David gave it as he walked

past her work table.

A wooden divider separated the living room end of the room from the small

kitchenette, and David leaned against it as Kelly bustled about making them both

a cup of coffee.

‘You’ve lost weight,’ David told her abruptly when she finally handed him his

mug. ‘It is just s*x this friend of yours is dealing in, isn’t it, Kelly...?’

As the meaning of his words sank in Kelly put down her own mug of coffee,

her face burning with indignation.

‘I’m not taking drugs, if that’s what you’re suggesting,’ she told him angrily.

‘I’m not that stupid, David.’

She closed her eyes momentarily, thinking painfully of Hardy and the waste of

his young life. No, drugs would never be something she would be tempted to use, and it hurt her that David thought she might.

The buoyancy and joy she had felt earlier had all gone, evaporated, burned

away in the raw heat of David’s anger and contempt. Suddenly she felt slightly

tired and sick—the combination of no food, alcohol and too much painful

emotion, she guessed miserably.

As tears filled her eyes she reached out impulsively, her fingers curling round

the soft fabric of his shirt as she pleaded despairingly, ‘David, why does it have to

be like this between us? Why...can’t we be friends...?’

‘Friends...?’

She shrank back as she heard the bitterness in his voice.

‘And what kind of friendship do you propose that we should have, Kelly?

The same kind you share with your friend who’s just left? What’s wrong? Isn’t

he satisfying you in bed? Do you need someone to compare him with? Because

if so...’

Kelly had had enough.

‘That’s not what I meant at all,’ she cried out. ‘I hate you, David... I hate you,’

she told him tearfully, the child surfacing over the adult she had wanted to

be...had wanted him to see...as she pummelled furiously at his chest, desperate to

break down the barrier he had thrown up between them.

Kelly stop it.’

As David caught hold of her small fists and held her away from him Kelly

realised what she was doing. Shamefaced, she started to look away from him,

tensing in his hold when she heard him curse softly under his breath, and then

suddenly he was sliding one hand into her hair, holding her head still as he bent

his own towards hers, his breath fanning hotly against her face, her lips, his

mouth...

His mouth!

In the shock of feeling David’s mouth actually caressing her own, Kelly

immediately forgot everything which had preceded it— their quarrel, his anger

and contempt—and remembered only her love for him!