A Gangster's Pure Love

CHAPTER 4

"Hi mom, dad..."

Lexi sighs as she drops her head on her steering wheel. She's been sitting in her car parked by the side of the cemetery where her beloved parents are buried. Her nerves have got the best of her and she is stuck here afraid to walk over to their graves.

She feels like 10 years is too long to not have visited them even once and she is wondering what she will tell them when she gets to their graves. She is not sure they will understand her reasons for not being here sooner and the more she thinks about it the harder it becomes for her to open her car door and head out.

She looks at the fresh bunch of flowers and smiles. The white lilies were always her mother's favourite while her father never really cared for such.

She laughs sadly when she remembers her father's grumpy face each time her mother would ask him to pass through their local flower shop to pick her the same bunch of flowers every week. It's one of the things that she was sure he only did it for the sake of his wife and when Lexi got older he would drag her along for what he used to call moral support.

The memory makes her laugh and cry at the same time. She misses him the most. While she loved her mother and their mother daughter relationship, she was daddy's little girl through and through. He was not just her father but a friend too. They got to do a lot of cool stuff from as young as she could remember.

She takes a deep breath and exhales loudly while she wipes the lone tear that just rolled down face. She has never felt their absence as much as she does now. And the thought of her taking the dreaded steps towards their resting place is weighing heavily on her. In a way she feels like seeing their graves will make it more real than it has been all these years.

Maybe it's the reason she has stayed away for so long. The fear to be reminded of it all. It's not that she has forgotten, their death is with her everyday but their is something that just doesn't let her do this. She suddenly wishes Sasha had come with her. She regrets not telling her younger sister how much she needed her for this, maybe it would have been easier. Many times before she would envy how her sister is not weighed down by their parent's death. On some days she would secretly wish she was the younger one but even that would just be for a moment when she would remember all that she has gone through that she wouldn't want her sister to endure.

A tap on her car's window brings her out of her thoughts and she finds an older man looking at her with concern.

"Are you ok my dear?" The man's genuine smile warms her a little.

"Yes am uh...fine. Thank you." She gives him a smile as she looks up at him.

"Oh ok." He replies and is about to leave when he turns back to her again and she looks at him inquisitively.

"It's uh...It's just that you have been here for quite a while and I was wondering if you know...Maybe you need a little help?"

When she frowns at him he explains himself.

"I...I know how hard it is to come to such a place." He nods towards the cemetery and she quickly catches on to what he is trying to say.

"Oh no thanks..." She tries to sound convincing even though deep down she would love some company. But as nice as the man looks she is not about to trust a total stranger.

"But thank you very much for offering."

"Sure...just make sure not to stay out there for too long. This is no place for a pretty young lady."

"Thank you."

As the man turns to leave she realises he is right. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't even realise it's sunset.

She quickly reaches for the flowers and finally steps out of her car. A cold breeze hits her and she zips up her coat to keep warm. With no time to waste she scurries towards her parent's graves and she is glad she doesn't have to go so deep into the cemetery as they are buried just a few metres from where she has left her car.

In no time she sports them from a distance and she is overcome with emotions making her stop in her tracks momentarily. She doesn't even realise tears are already flowing until she feels a drop on her hand. The hole that these two left in her heart suddenly grows wider. If only they knew how much she has missed them. She wipes her tears quickly and continues walking forward with every step she takes becoming more difficult than the last. The lump in her throat is choking her too and she finds herself failing to breathe.

She is trying so hard to get a hold of herself but she fails miserably and sobs escape her the moment she stands in front of their graves.

"Mom..."

"Dad..."

Her eyes move from one grave to the other as her heart breaks even more when thoughts of her last moments with them cross her mind. Everything seems to be crashing once more in her world and she lays down unable to bear it all.

"Dad am not strong enough. I have tried to be but am not. Why did you have to leave?"

She is crying like a little girl as she pours out her heart to the only two people that were her constant light and love. With them laying here nothing has ever been the same. Her world changed forever the day they died and right now she really wishes they were here. To see the woman she has become and how much she has fought to be here. She wishes she could see their proud faces, to get her father's usual pat on her back whenever she made him proud.

The anguish she feels is tearing her apart and she just lays there with her head on the cold stone as if she is waiting to hear even a tiny whisper from them telling her it's alright. And when it doesn't come she just closes her eyes and keeps waiting and hoping, not caring about her surroundings. With every minute that passes in silence it makes their absence hit her more than it ever has. This moment has forced her to finally accept that they are truly gone. Never to be seen again.

She sits up and looks back at the stones that will forever be her parent's final resting place and smiles sadly while whispering her words of good bye. It's the only thing she can do and she is sure that is what they would want for her.

After a while a cold breeze blows over her and the man's words from earlier ring a bell in her head. The sun has already set and even though she doesn't want to leave her parent's side she knows she has to.

She places the flowers carefully on the stony surface and with a kiss on both headstones she turns to leave.

Her heart feels lighter after all that outpouring and she smiles a little. In a way she feels everything will be alright eventually.

She hurries down the path heading back the way she came when suddenly she feels like she is being followed. Its just a feeling but her hairs are standing on end making her nervous. Being at the cemetery made her forget she was still in Wyestone, her dangerous hometown and after her odd exeperience at her workplace earlier she doesn't even take a moment to check if she is really being followed. That will be like wasting precious time.

The place is almost dark now and she can't see anyone else in sight. Her only thought is to get to her car and get out of this place.

As she hurries down the path she hears heavy footsteps behind her that seem to be matching her pace if not faster than her. She panics when she realizes that someone is really following her. She bites her lips as she tries to figure out what to do meanwhile she picks up her pace hoping whomever is following her doesn't do the same. But when she hears them match her again she makes a run for it as fear grips her heart like never before. She didn't think this visit would end with her sprinting like this.

She is almost at her car when one moment she is running down the path and the next she is flying when someone forcefully grabs her by her hair making her lose her balance. She finds herself being held tightly with no way of escape.

"Where is it?"

Just that one question and Lexi is instantly paralysed with fear as she freezes on her spot. She is back in that small space in her bedroom ten years ago. Even after so long this voice is very familiar. The first and last time she heard it was when her parents died. She is shivering and sweating at the same time. This person knows exactly who she is and there is no way it's a mistaken identity.

Her mind goes into overdrive when she realises that the question he just asked her was the same question she heard her parents being asked before they died and that whatever it is he is looking for is connected to her parents. She panics even more when she realises that if they don't get what they want she will end up dead too.

"I don't know what you are talking about please let me go. I don't even know who you are."

Her voice is shaky and her breathing accelerates as the seconds pass. She is more than scared. Even though it's unlikely, she is hoping the man will let her go but all that hope is shattered when the man just laughs and mocks her.

"Of course you do Peterson.."

The sound of her name makes her scream surprising her attacker. She screams so loud like everything depends on it. She doesn't care that her throat is getting bruised, her focus is on getting someone to hear her in this place that she is not sure anybody is. She just feels this person won't let her go no matter what she does.

A sharp pain resonates on her forehead knocking her out for a split second. She can hear the person cursing and starts dragging her further away from her car. She can feel her consciousness slipping as her head starts throbbing and a warm liquid drops down her face.

The red spot on her coat makes her survival instinct to kick in when death stares her in the face.

Without thinking twice she puts all her energies in staying alive as she starts kicking and thrashing. Anything to have him let her go or at least make it difficult for him to take her away from here but the more she does that the tighter his grip on her becomes and the weaker she feels.

She doesn't want to give up but she can feel herself getting weaker as the pain in her head gets worse. Tears fill her eyes once more when she realizes just how helpless she is. Its ironic that she might get her wish to join her parents right here a few metres from their graves.

She feels tired and is about to close her eyes when she hears a loud bang and she feels herself drop to the ground. The pain to her head feels like a thousand volts just passed through it and she screams out in pain and everything becomes a blur.

The last thing she hears is a manly voice asking her to stay awake but her eyes flatter closed anyway as she feels herself slipping away.