Communicationally Challenged

Prologue part 1

「A-ah…..I died huh」

My life has always been on hard mode simply because I have a communication disorder. The reason why I died already.

For instance, I can’t give good impressions to other people,or like how I can’t tell others what is on my mind, or like how I can’t look eye to eye with people. On those reasons, I didn’t get to have such an easy life.

Well, since I’m just thinking around before I die then I’ll just leave it at that.

Right now I have something more important to think about and that is, what happens to people after dying.

I don’t think I would be called back to heaven though

Even though this life of mine that I got from my parents was important, I have easily threw it out like garbage. Just for the reason of saving a crying childhood friend from danger.

「But…….I still have my consciousness, what’s happening?」

Even though I have communication disorder, I can still talk to myself. Talking to other people would be a sudden hurdle rise for me though.

First of all, I can’t look eye to eye with people. On my childhood days, my teacher arbitrarily decided that I was deaf on a class discussion. Even at that time of Parent-Student-Teacher meeting, I couldn’t speak straight.

I’ve been told, “Look at my eyes and speak to me” for 10,000 times through out my whole life. Even my parents would apologize to the teachers for having a hard time with me.

「……it seems that all I’m recalling is the past huh.」

When I confirmed the place I’m now in, First of all its pitch black. Also, even though my consciousness is here, my body isn’t.

This feeling of being thrown out here and this weightlessness, I don’t really understand. It’s like in a game’s 「Thinking mode」, it’s that sort of feeling.

(TL note: 「Gamer’s mind」 Han Jee-Han.)

There is a sense of sight but the body is nonexistent, It’s possible to think but is impossible to move.

「So this is what happens after one dies………dammit, I really did die.」

……it seems that all I’m recalling is the past huh.

If this was going to happen then I shouldn’t have went outside. I should have just stayed inside and continue playing my game even though my account was hacked along with my belongings that were all lost.

【Eternal Magia】The game where I spent 1/3rd of my short life on.

On my elementary days, I couldn’t have friends in real life. However, inside the world of Net Games, miraculously I could talk with other people there. Considering the quarter view MMORPGs, one didn’t have to match eyes with other people just so that they could talk with each other.

Also with a keyboard, those things that I want to say but couldn’t express for the reason that what I say and what I want to say always becomes different in real life. In spite of the fact that inside net games, I had high sociability.

「Ah, that was dangerous……I became depressed again.」

There’s no point in being sociable inside a game if you can’t speak properly in real life. I suddenly remembered another childhood friend of mine telling me that. This boy has been with me up until I died as a first year high school student. In other words, we have been together for 10 years.

That guy and this other childhood friend which I sacrificed my life in order to save with an “I made it in time!” were both the reason why I became a shut-in. Despite that, I didn’t think of hating them. “Please become happy for me”, is at least what I thought.

「Well, I did gave up my life to save her didn’t I…….」

Yup, because I am a guy whose true feelings turn out to be different when articulated. That is why for the friend who tried to take me to the outside world when I was a shut-in, I’m truly thankful but……As always, the words I say were different from what I truly feel.

To make a good report, shouldn’t you make a deal with a teacher? or something like that. (Tl note: brain burn in this part 「**が*くなるように、**と*り*きでもしたのか？　とか。」) (ED: It’s very likely that this is a reference.) (TL: I see, thanks for that)

I’m the most joyful in this place. To the people on the outside world, I wish you all a miserable life. Reality is s**t…..

「……Nevertheless, you really understand don’t you? The existence of you who has been thrown out and alienated by the society, 【Pitiful】 is the right title for you.」

「Uwah!?! ………Wh-what is that so suddenly, where did that come from!?」

There was a voice who suddenly have been heard, that’s why I became very suspicious of my surroundings. This is what I hate the most, like the moment I’ve been talked to, or calming myself while dealing with people. Oh please don’t talk to me.

「Why are you so afraid of talking to people? Inside your heart, I can’t even see a trauma that stands out though.」

「A-As I said, where the hell are you talking from!」

In this pitch black spacious place, nobody is there but a voice can be heard. I do play horror games but I lower the volumes like those coward characters in a Moe anime. If there was a monster who came out of the screen, I would panic and hide while telling myself that I’m not alone. Who the hell am I talking to?

(Tl note: Yar talking to me master kyaaaaa >////< hazukashi desuuu)

「If you’ll be relieved by seeing my appearance then…..Here! So how’s it?」

「……」

What’s this 「so how’s it?」, but before that, my field of vision suddenly became bright.

Where is this……Are those clouds I see outside? This place looks like a 【Sky Temple】from the games I’ve played.

Anyway, I’m in a place like a temple in those fantasy games. Nevertheless I still have no body.

Also, in my presence is a woman standing before I was even aware. She looked younger than the me from when I was alive, she have beautiful silver hair also, her ears seems long.

(TL note: ELFFFFFF MUST r**e!!!!!)

In the game I played 【Eternal Magia】, There were also Elves who live in the forest parts and were great at using magic. She looked like those elves in my game.

「Good, it seems that you remember properly. Even though you’re in 【Spirit】 state, you still have your memories so this talk will be faster. Normally in that state, no one would even remember themselves.」

「S-Spirit What the hell….don’t joke around, I don’t understand this…..」

Though, to the me whose words are contrasting from what I want to say which was really 「I understand」. I have different categories and kinds of communication disorder, like my 「Anyway, I’m not skilled in speaking, expressing my will doesn’t go well」 who is a leading factor of my communication disorder.

Even though what I think about is this, the things that go out of my mouth is different from what I wanted to say. It is as if even though I’m in a spirit state, I still can’t change myself.

「Spirit」……is it. The manga I liked is what comes out of my mind so maybe it’s that.

「I understand….despite being really cautious, you panic and speak in a hurry when being talked to, in addition to that, you say aggressive words which are different from what you really think. In other words 【You’re having a hard time being true to yourself】.」

(TL note: AKA Male tsundere + trauma + low self esteem) (ED: I’m offensive and I find it like this)

「Wh-what the hell…..Evaluating a person like that. Since you are in a temple like this, Are you playing god or something? Haha, don’t make me laugh」

[However, she might be a god. But what does she want from someone like me? It’s been so long since I’ve spoken to other people and it makes me glad. Be that as it may, I’m a very annoying guy……she’s beautiful, so I don’t want her to hate me]

——Wh-what the hell is this. Even though I’m only speaking in my mind, audible words are coming out from nowhere.

「Hehe…..’I’m glad’, ‘she’s beautiful’. If you can think about that then you should clearly say it to the other party. You, it’s always like that right? You can’t say what you really intend to say, have you not been misunderstood by other people?」

「N-No…..」

[Perhaps Hina had also misunderstood.. because that girl uses the same barrette the whole time. She wears it often, the present that I gave on a whim. Isn’t it childish? Like….. She isn’t wearing others anymore after that. If that would be lost, perhaps,   she would also go to Kyousuke’s place. Ahh~. I’m the worst. What a bitter end]

I-I’m thinking all about this again…this is bad, all the things I’ve been thinking is being sent to her. And this time, it’s about the useless me who has communication disorder.

「Hmmm…..You like that Hina-chan don’t you? That girl who got NTR’d by the other childhood friend named Kyousuke. Furthermore, there’s another unfortunate thing that happened right?」

「You can see all of it huh….haa, so doesn’t this mean that I don’t need to say anything right?」

[When I became a shut-in, I thought of ways so that I won’t be a burden to my parents. I thought of using the RMT method inside the  game. I know that it’s a bad thing but I didn’t have any choice. I made a deal on 10,000,000 yen but I was fooled by the same guild mate. My password was stolen coupled with my account being hacked.]

At that moment when I logged in, My level and skills were still the same but all my items and money were gone.

From the first time I logged in up till now, my total logged in time was 20,000 hours of play time, and all the fortunes I summed up were gone in a blink of an eye.

Several days passed. At that time I didn’t think that I would die.

On a certain rainy day of a shut-in who hasn’t gone out of his house for several days. There was a figure outside my house which belonged to Kyousuke and Hina who were having a fight.

That Hina who ran away from Kyousuke after having a fight, I wondered why he didn’t run after her. For someone like me who couldn’t do anything, I went out of my house and ran after her.

(TL note: I knew it, he has a brave heart. I respect this protag.)

「….Wait, I have something to say. The players of the game 「Eternal Magia」 will be sent from their present world to the Eternal Magia world I’m handling.」

「Eh…..?」

[W-wait a minute, I don’t understand anything right now. That wasn’t just a game? Why the hell is there a Real and Fake of that world?]

「I don’t need to give an explanation concerning that. You dying was outside of my expectations and that’s why we’re having this interview now.」

「O-outside your expectation….」

[The me on that day, where I went out of the house and saved Hina by dying……to a god like her, it was outside of her expectation]

(TL note: As expected of my master)

What I’m saying in my heart and mind is transmitted to the other party means that this talk should be easier. Although it’s really embarrassing when you’re heartfelt words are being transmitted, and it might become a 100% misunderstanding to the other party.

If it was like this when I was alive…nope, That would also be a hard life in it’s own way. There’s no other method in thinking about that.

「First of all, The person who played 【20,000 hours】 of 【Eternal Magia】 out of all the other people who only played 【15,000 hours】. Only a single person has accomplished 【20,000 hours】 and that is you, 【Morioka Hiroto-kun】. You who was the 【TOP PLAYER of JAPAN】. Your account was targeted to be hacked. Your play time was useless so they just took your money and items.」

「Dammit……I was using level capped equipment, so how did they find out that I was saving all my items in a bank.」

「That’s simple, it’s because of the abundant envy you collected from the surroundings. In Eternal Magia, there was a powerful guild and the leader of that guild was you right?」

My communication power in net games is Ultimately High. Not only to other characters but even those NPCs were kind to me. For the reason of being liked by many, I poured 100 bonus points on the skill 【Negotiation skill】, level cap is 75 and 1 level costs 3 bonus points.

Nobody other than me would level up their 【Negotiation skill】 to level 10. Bargain skill will be unlocked on level 10 【Negotiation skill】 which is a useful active skill. There’s also a skill unlocked after hitting level 30 【Negotiation skill】 and that is the skill with a small chance of success rate called 【Persuasion】. That is why no on would use their points on 【Negotiation skill】.

Leveling it up would take a dreadful amount of time and you can’t delete characters in Eternal Magia【】. 【Eternal Magia】 has several hundred variety of skills.

There’s been rumors that there was someone who had all those skill and became peerless with power according to what was being heard in the net game. Eternal Magia’s status has a very hard protection that no one could tamper with the game. Even a popular hacker tried to analyze it’s game client, he couldn’t even open the black box

(TL note: Of course since the programmer is a goddess herself lel joking here xD )

Well aside from that, only I who have 100 points for the 「Negotiation skill」knows of the other world.

At that time when my 「Negotiation skill」 still isn’t level 100,

I had a talk with the king and bowed down his head to me. He begged me to defeat the demon lord.

I proceeded to negotiate with him and got to employ some mercenaries as soldiers.

I used those soldiers to sneak my way past the eyes of people and conquered a super hard Dungeon that no one has yet to conquer. I then offered information bit by bit to build up a number of friends.

My companions increased by a great number and as a result, I was asked to establish a guild.

I became a guild Master!