Love Like Chess

7

The lunar glow bathed the opulent estate but the beauty of the night was lost on her. The lush gardens, usually a haven of serenity seemed cold and unforgiving. The sound of crickets and rustling leaves only amplified the silence that weighed heavily in her heart. As she wandered through the vast space, the lavish chandeliers within and the compound lights seemed to mock her.

Kimberly shuffled through the quiet compound space. The cool night breeze blew against her bare arms and lose hair; she had finally let them down in the open, those long brown wavy strands, the shade of chocolate brownie - marvellous!

Nine years of her love had yielded nothing. She should have fought harder, fought off this dreadful emotion when she could. Better still she should have resigned when she realized she was catching feelings. It had begun slowly, she hadn't realized it. She didn't realize it when she chose to take his breakfast to his bedroom herself or when she had ensured to pack his lunch every morning until now.

She had only realized it when he had decided to go on a week's vacation to Istanbul, leaving her behind to coordinate his homes in America and she had missed him, longed for him; waited for his calls like he was the medicine to her illness, her love sickness.

His voice was her muse, his shadow her motivation, his presence her weakness, he and he alone made her lose her guard, made her break her walls, made her compromise her principles.

He was her soul food.

And when she realized this, her heart wasn't hers to control any longer, she had to endure, suffer.

But how could she blame herself?

She had been so young, so vulnerable, in the homes of the most breathtaking man she had ever known. She fell in love with his voice, his eyes, his thinking mechanism, and everything that was his. Hence she took care of him and his homes like it was hers, like he was hers.

But no more, she had lost him- completely.

She would no longer be able to love him from a distance, long for him from her bedroom, want him by her side. She could only serve him.

Now, loving him was wrong.

He beloved to his wife and she was sure they had sealed their bond.

A streak of hot tear rolled down her cheek. She had made the bed herself, arranged the candles and lit each one with her shaking hands. She had wept while she turned his Spartan room into the dreamy fairytale bedroom, perfect for consummating their marriage.

And now she cried the more.

********

Bianca was a symphony of delicate features, a masterful blend of perfect details, with a rhythm that matched his. Any man could get lost in the gentle rise and fall of her chest while she slept, listening to her steady, smooth breathing, while she slept naked under the duvet.

He should be floored, he wanted to be moved, smitten by her, by her effortless beauty, by her curves, by her pace but most importantly by her love. But he felt nothing.

He was distracted.

His gaze was shrouded, his heart was locked away, inaccessible. He pitied her, because he knew she would make efforts to ignite a spark, because he knew her efforts would go to waste.

How could he love her when his mind as distant, when he was in turmoil, when nothing occupied his mind but thoughts of her?

Her. The woman who had dedicatedly served him for years, keeping his homes and life running smoothly and serenely. His top notch housekeeper.

Sweat soaked him in the airy room.

He got out of bed stealthy enough not to wake his sleeping wife. He stole one glance at her and groaned.

How could he not want her?

Even when he made love to her he had been distracted, only half excited.

She was everything he had ever wanted in a wife yet she could not stop his mind from wandering off despite knowing that his mystery woman was off bounds.

He needed fresh air to clear his head, something different- Kimberly. He was at the verge of breaking his one rule, the one line he did not cross.

He had to see her, ignorance wouldn't cure him of this longing. He would either succeed or die trying. He dashed out to the gardens, something ethereal had told him he would find her there and he did.

She was standing by the moon lit pool and for the first time in so many years, he saw her bare skin radiating in the cool of the night- as his housekeeper of course. She had let down her wavy leaf brown hair in spools plunged around her beautiful face.

The air around was spellbinding and otherworldly.

She was stunning!

"Kimberly" it was the first time he had called her by her first name and something in him prayed it wouldn't be the last.

She whirled to him, swiftly, slightly puzzled.

"Mr...Mr. Xavier?" She gasped, her palm shutting her mouth in bewilderment. He was the last person that should be out here with her, it was his freaking wedding night!

And did he just call her Kimberly?

"What are you doing out here? If you need something..." She started but he stopped her.

"I need you!" He said taking a long stride towards her, "I haven't been able to think, sleep, breathe or meditate without thoughts of the night before my wedding. But when I looked into your eyes, when I shared air with you and even now, I can finally get a breather. Because I'm with you" he said. She was stupefied. He had said so much, with so much emotions, pouring his heart to her.

His humility and honesty melted her.

Did it mean...had he finally fallen for her?

"You are married Mr. Xavier, it's your wedding night, your wife is upstairs!"

It seemed the only sensible thing to do, yelling some sense into her boss.

Her bravado wowed him.

"I can't be with her in this state Kimberly, she deserves better".

"And what would you have me do?"

Marry me. She hoped he'd say that,prayed he would. But what would she say? It was love or duty.

"One last time. Come away with me and let me spoil you with a king's treatment, for my sanity Kimberly".

It hit her like a blow.

"How dare you?" She growled, making a fist. "What do you take me for? A shameless, lonely slut you can have at will?" She yelled.

"No. I see you as the medicine to my madness. Kimberly," he took some air, inhaling the enthralling air around her, "I've never felt so drawn to anyone in my life".

Me too, she wanted to say.

'I've lost you my love, and I won't hurt another woman for my sake. If you love someone, you let them go and if they come back...' her thoughts ceased.

"Your wife is alone on her wedding night Mr. Xavier. She doesn't deserve that. Good night sir" she said and walked away.

Her love was real, long-suffering and pure. She had tried, heaven knew she had and even now she wanted to wake up one morning and realize that her heart beat because she was alive not because of him.

And when she looked in his eyes, those dark blue pools that she had gotten lost in, she knew she had already failed, that there was no way on the face of the earth that she could deny it.

There was a fire in her heart, it didn't flicker and would not go out.

It burned for him. Nothing could change that.